Ex's wife smacked my son

Mel1979a

Its assault pure and simple. She would not get away with doing that to another adult so why the heck should she get away to doing it to a 10 yo child.
Go to the police.

Biofox

make_me_wise wrote: »

I really admire you doing that, such a valuable way to spend some time. Do you need alot of training? Must be very hard to keep emotion out of it at times and be able to just listen and then advise the little kids.

Hi,
Thanks. I thought the same thing, my spare time was usually spent doing very little so I decided there must be a better use for it! You do get some very intensive training. They are very supportive and the training is good, it really helps to prepare you for all that you might encounter. It can be difficult to maintain your distance, its not for everyone. I trained with some of the nicest people who would have made excellent counsellors however they just couldn't distance themselves from the emotion.

I would highly recommend it, if you're that way inclined. I have ongoing skills, made new friends and really enriched my own life. Without sounding like some cheesy advert, it really has change my perspective on life!

kerrypn

Hi OP

I am sorry but I think that what this woman has done is completely outrageous and cannot be in anyway justified.
I have 3 children of my own and a step daughter (who lives with her mum). In absolutely no circumstances would I smack DHs daughter, and TBH, although I will ask her to stop doing something if DH isnt around, if she has done something that needs to be disciplined, DH would deal with it-because she is his daughter, and it is not my place to parent her-whilst I care about her a great deal, I have been part of her life for 7 years-she is 10-I would not feel at all comfortable disciplining her.

If another person, step parent or otherwise, laid a single finger on my children I would be straight on the phone to Social Services. Aside from the assault, this woman sounds like she is being emotionally abusive to your son, and has done the same to your eldest.

I would contact SS, and also try and arrange supervised contact at a contact centre if your son wants to see his dad and his half siblings. I think it is very important your son has a say in contact with his dad, but being a minor I think you should make the decision to report the assault. And actually, I dont think reporting to the police would be overboard.

Sorry but what has happened is simply not on. Good luck OP, I can see you just want what is best for your sons

the_cat

I'm saddened to see this referred to as 'smacking'

A smack is a light cuff around the legs by an adult IN CONTROL Of THEIR TEMPER as a reprimand for a child in extreme circumstances (like a tiny child being shocked out of running into the road for example). Some use it, some don't

A whack around the head in anger.......... is assault

scooby088

I sometimes feel like smacking my OH kids but as a step parent i cannot overstep those boundries no matter how angry i get. So i just rationally tell the child it's not on sometimes i yell but never smack. As for OP i hope that she did contact the police with regards to the assault.

RadoJo

Just to add, as someone who had a spiteful step mother, my Dad knew. It may seem to the kids that he is never there when she does this stuff, but he will know exactly what she's like, because he will see flashes of her temper when they argue, and he will know that she has trouble controlling her temper, even if he never seems to see her at her worst with your sons. If he is denying that there is a problem then he is either flat out lying or trying to cover up the fact that his wife is behaving inappropriately because he doesn't want to admit it to himself.

missindecisive

hello. sorry i hav'nt read all of the other poster's replies . Your son is old enough to form the opinion that his dad's new wife is a horrible person.He is probably waiting for you to step in and save him from this difficult situation he is in. Y ou are his mother and have the right to say where he goes/does'nt go until he is 18. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. Tell you ex if he wants to see his son he must visit him alone or take him out alone without his new family. Explain your reasons why. Don't be made to feel silly or that you are over reacting. You are not. If he does'nt take you seriously I would ring childline and ask for their advice.

fannyanna

OP - did the Dad ever respond to your email?