Ex's wife smacked my son

Nimeth

neneromanova wrote: »

I thought the ball was kicked at a wall and it bounced off at the little kid landing at their feet and didn't even touch them.

Yes, OP stated that her son kicked the ball at a fence, which then bounced off and rolled. Total OTT reaction by the ex's wife. No discipline of any kind was warranted in my opinion.

meritaten

I would be reporting her to the police - no question about it! She has mistreated both your children. If the ex wants to see the boys then its under supervision and SHE is not to be present though of course the half brothers could be. personally there is no damn way this woman would have another chance to hurt one of MY children - then I would report her to Social Services for hitting her children.

kelloggs36

I sympathise - my DD hated going to her dad's because his new partner was awful to her - she used to squeeze her fingers really hard when she was holding her hand, refused to let her go to the toilet in the night and when my DD almost shut her brother's fingers in the door (she realised what was happening and pulled him away), the woman grabbed her and said "You Fu**ing touch my son again and I will kill you". One time, my DD was playing with the baby brother and he climbed on her lap for a cuddle, the woman took him off her and said "you don't want to go near scum like that". All of this was denied by her when my DD told her dad and he actually told her that he would always believe his wife over anything she said. This was many years ago, and my DD didn't want to go there any longer - although she still wanted to see her dad. He refused and they didn't see each other for years - she is now 22 and sees both of them. I can't forgive the woman for the way she treated my daughter, and my daughter says that she tolerates her because she can have a relationship with her dad - but she is uber nice to her now - and I just keep remembering how evil she was and hate her even more!!

make_me_wise

meritaten wrote: »

I would be reporting her to the police - no question about it! She has mistreated both your children. If the ex wants to see the boys then its under supervision and SHE is not to be present though of course the half brothers could be. personally there is no damn way this woman would have another chance to hurt one of MY children - then I would report her to Social Services for hitting her children.

Very well said

make_me_wise

kelloggs36 wrote: »

He refused and they didn't see each other for years - she is now 22 and sees both of them. I can't forgive the woman for the way she treated my daughter, and my daughter says that she tolerates her because she can have a relationship with her dad - but she is uber nice to her now - and I just keep remembering how evil she was and hate her even more!!

The parts of your post that I have highlighted, speaks volumes about how guilty this woman feels, about the way she treated your daughter as a child. I can understand you feeling the way you do about her, keep in mind though that your daughter only tolerates her so as to see her dad. You can bet your life this woman knows it too.

I think your ex is really lucky his daughter wants any relationship with him after the way he spoke to and treated her as a child. If that had been my dad he would never have seen me again.

fannyanna

As a rather reluctant step mother myself I will discipline (in a fair and moderate fashion) my SD where necessary (which is once in a blue moon) as she's in my house and I'm expected to care for her.

My husband fully supports this. If she or her Mother doesn't like it tough. I would however NEVER smack her!

GobbledyGook

I would be going ballistic. A tap or slap on the bottom when they've been horrendously naughty or put themselves in danger is a smack. Whalloping someone round the head isn't a smack, it's assault. No way would my child be going back there until Dad promised he wouldn't leave them alone ever again. Especially not when my other child was also assaulted by the same person.

It's all very well saying children need a relationship with their Dad, but if Dad is allowing them to be hurt either through neglect, ignorance or sheer denial then children need protecting from their Dad too as he is not taking responsibility for their safety.

CRANKY40

Even when we were kids and smacking was more acceptable (I'm nearly 44) my dad went nuts if my sister or I hit each other on the head while messing around. The message was "it's dangerous to hit anyone on the head even if you're only messing around".

I have smacked my son on the bum when he's hurt someone else on purpose. About 4 times in total and he's 6 now. The last time was 2 years ago this summer when he smacked his friend with a plastic golf club on the back of her legs. Since he realised that things like that make other people feel the same way as his bum felt (smacked once not hard), he doesn't do it, not even in jest. If someone else smacked him for a "narrow miss" that didn't do any harm I would be furious.

He and his friends were witness to another friend being hit across the face by her dad last week and they were all horrified.

make_me_wise

CRANKY40 wrote: »

He and his friends were witness to another friend being hit across the face by her dad last week and they were all horrified.

I am not a mum yet, though I long to be. To be honest this thread has really, really upset me. I dont know how anyone can look down at a little kid, be filled with so much rage and hit their little face

As far as I am concerned anyone who does that is a completely sick individual.

CRANKY40

make_me_wise wrote: »

I am not a mum yet, though I long to be. To be honest this thread has really, really upset me. I dont know how anyone can look down at a little kid, be filled with so much rage and hit their little face

As far as I am concerned anyone who does that is a completely sick individual.

Apparently there is already social services involvement and I will be mentioning it to ds's teacher when they're back at school.