Ex's wife smacked my son

Triker

make_me_wise wrote: »

You do realise this woman has been assaulting your kids. You are not allowed by law any more to hit a child, let alone smack them round the head or grip them round the face.

If I were in your shoes I wouldn't be on a money saving site asking for advice. I would be reporting her to the police without hesitation. That vile woman is very lucky that no-one who witnessed what went on didn't report her. If I saw anyone treating a child in that manner I would. The police would take you seriously.

I think it is a huge misjudgement of your ex to treat this in such a casual manner. Its like he condones what she is doing.

Your poor kid I hope he is okay.

Not true actually, there is no law that says you cannot smack children.


Unfortunately you have no evidence, no marks that this occurred only your son's account of what happened and by the pattern of behaviour this woman follows it doesn't sound like she is going to admit it.

You can try reporting it to Social Services but unless you have witnesses then they'd be hard pushed to build any case against her and to be frank will probably offer parenting support.

From my point of view I would say that your ex has to see his sons in a neutral place from now on in, be clear that you feel they have both been assaulted, there is a regular pattern there it appears and that as their Dad isn't taking steps to protect his children then you will have to by restricting contact to him and him only. I would also reiterate that you do not give permission for his wife or him to hit, smack or strike your children ever and that if you're aware of any other incidents then you'll contact the police.

Nimeth

The fact that you are not "allowed" to call the house is a huge red flag, especially when your son is around there. Why are you not allowed to call?

Is there no other way for your son to see his half siblings? Maybe a play date with you there to supervise?

Triker

Alternatively you could just go round and smack her round the head...(did I say that, yes I did :eek:)

pigpen

Hard_up,_not_happy wrote: »

Stop messing about sending emails asking for 100% guarantees. This woman has a complete lack of control to be able to treat your kids in that manner. She shouldn't be around children.

If anyone treated my kids like that they would be dealing with social services and the police quicker than they could breathe.

I agree with the other posters who have said that she has been assaulting your children.

and by not challenging that by involving legal protection for your children or sorting it properly with ex you are enabling her to do it again.. if this was a sexual assault what would you do? Why is this physical assault any different?

I can't quite believe you would give her the opportunity to do it again.. 'yeah you assaulted both my boys but never mind I'll give you a THIRD chance to assault them'.. are you aware of what this sounds like? You are willingly opening your children to abuse.. you may as well hit them yourself because by sending them there still you are not protecting them!

Triker wrote: »

Alternatively you could just go round and smack her round the head...(did I say that, yes I did :eek:)

s

so did I lol.. BAD BAD people... and I know you wouldn't really do that!

Triker

pigpen wrote: »

and by not challenging that by involving legal protection for your children or sorting it properly with ex you are enabling her to do it again.. if this was a sexual assault what would you do? Why is this physical assault any different?

I can't quite believe you would give her the opportunity to do it again.. 'yeah you assaulted both my boys but never mind I'll give you a THIRD chance to assault them'.. are you aware of what this sounds like? You are willingly opening your children to abuse.. you may as well hit them yourself because by sending them there still you are not protecting them!

s

so did I lol.. BAD BAD people... and I know you wouldn't really do that!

Really...:think::whistle::cool:

CL

TBH I'd go to the house when your ex isn't there and threaten to beat the [EMAIL="!!!!"]!!!![/EMAIL] out of her if she touches your son again. I know it's not the best behaviour, but she doesn't appear to have gotten the message with your first son.

make_me_wise

Triker wrote: »

Not true actually, there is no law that says you cannot smack children.

Yes there is a law that says you cannot smack children. Under the Childrens Act, which came into effect in Jan 2005, it is illegal to hit children hard enough to leave a mark. Parents who do this can face up to 5 years in prison if they are convicted.

clearingout

my ex's girlfriend used to do this to our children. It was dreadful to have to deal with. She was very clever with it - never in front of the ex so of course, he was torn when I tackled him. My solicitor said the only recourse was to go to the police which I didn't do as I didn't feel it appropriate that the children were interviewed (they are young). Within a matter of weeks, the ex then broke up with her. He is now back with her and I have declined further contact with her unless all three of us go to mediation - he has ignored this request and is ignoring his children. It's very difficult.

Triker

make_me_wise wrote: »

Yes there is a law that says you cannot smack children. Under the Childrens Act, which came into effect in Jan 2005, it is illegal to hit children hard enough to leave a mark. Parents who do this can face up to 5 years in prison if they are convicted.

No there isn't ...the law does not state it is illegal to smack children. The point of law is around force and hitting and hard smacking with force that will leave a mark.

Mild smacking is allowed under a "reasonable chastisement" defence against common assault.

bestpud

I'd not be happy tbh.

That said, I think it wise to ensure your son doesn't see an opportunity to cause a stir, especially if he dislikes his step mother - it's very common.

Whatever you do, it needs to be out of his earshot imo.

I'd stop my child going, personally, but I'm not sure that's the wisest decision really. I just hate hitting so would act on impulse.

Has your ex not made any move to carry on seeing your older son? Coming to him or anything like that?