Weddings and children

gravitytolls

Wow, apologising for holding the baby too long!

Suggestions are all well and good, but we all know little girls want to be bridesmaids so they can wear a pretty frock and have the pics to prove it ~ they then like to keep the frock to dress in and pretend to be brides/princesses.

Would it help if your daughter offered to pay for the frock?

What if the babe carried a basket of rose petals, and your other GD guided her down the aisle sprinkling them for your new DIL's delicate toes?

Lummy, she sounds like a potential nightmare!

iamana1ias

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I have had problems with my future sister in law but we've had to get over them for the sake of my fiance (her brother) and we've just set our date, she has 2 girls and 1 boy and I have a niece but I have asked her two girls to be my bridesmaids and I will find a job for her son. Because thats the right thing to do and otherwise I know I'd be called all the names under the sun so it's not really worth it.

So if you had 20 or 30 nieces and nephews (not impossible in a Jeremy Kyle saga) you'd give them all roles in your wedding?

Stephb1986_2

iamana1ias wrote: »

So if you had 20 or 30 nieces and nephews (not impossible in a Jeremy Kyle saga) you'd give them all roles in your wedding?

The ones I was close to yes. When my cousin got married she didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid but asked my younger cousin. I still remember that. Luckily I only have 1 brother and a step sister so that could never happen lol

PootleFlump_3

Stephb1986 wrote: »

The ones I was close to yes. When my cousin got married she didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid but asked my younger cousin. I still remember that. Luckily I only have 1 brother and a step sister so that could never happen lol

But it doesnt sound like the OP's daughter in law is particularly close to the little girl so surely its up to her if she has her as part of the wedding (even if she is being a bridezilla)?

Stephb1986_2

PootleFlump wrote: »

But it doesnt sound like the OP's daughter in law is particularly close to the little girl so surely its up to her if she has her as part of the wedding (even if she is being a bridezilla)?

But the OP's son is close to the little girl and told her that she would be a bridesmaid, I know it's not really his place to be picking bridesmaids but if he said it it should happen. It's not fair to get a little girls hopes up and then do nothing. I didn't particularly want my H2B's niece's but because he told them they would be I've had no choice really.

Steph xx

PootleFlump_3

Stephb1986 wrote: »

But the OP's son is close to the little girl and told her that she would be a bridesmaid, I know it's not really his place to be picking bridesmaids but if he said it it should happen. It's not fair to get a little girls hopes up and then do nothing. I didn't particularly want my H2B's niece's but because he told them they would be I've had no choice really.

Steph xx

I do agree with that bit but dont like the idea of people meddling in other peoples wedding plans. I would have strangled my H2B if he had told his nieces they would be bridesmaids! :eek:

Stephb1986_2

PootleFlump wrote: »

I do agree with that bit but dont like the idea of people meddling in other peoples wedding plans. I would have strangled my H2B if he had told his nieces they would be bridesmaids! :eek:

If looks could kill he'd be dead by now for that :rotfl:

Steph xx

melancholly

i would avoid trying to negotiate a peace settlement here... both sides could end up resenting whatever happens and blaming you! sounds like the new DIL is a bit of a nightmare and it's pretty stupid of your son to go back on his word to a small child. if anything, just make sure your son knows you are disappointed, but leave it at that. this sounds like a situation that could go nuclear very easily.

clearly there is little chance that your daughter and new DIL will be best friends. going for civil is probably for the best and hopefully your daughter can act like the grown up.

what a difficult position for all..... i can't imagine going out of my way to offend all the in-laws like this. i get that it's about what the couple wants, but to be so insensitive strikes me as unnecessary and a poor start...

cannyscot_2

We were in a similar situation and we told my daughter she was chosen as the lucky horse shoe person. We got a special dress , hat and handbag and she gave the horse shoe and we got a great picture. My daughter was happy with what we told her. Every wedding I have ever been to has something that upsets someone . You just need to decide if you can swallow hard and all be at your son/brothers wedding or not.

lazer

So the couple are having their own daughter as bridesmaid instead of the niece?

I think you have to accept this, as it seems perfectly reasonable that your daughter in law to be wants their child to be the child in the limelight on the day

As you have said your grandson is in the wedding, so it would be nice if they could give your granddaughter a role, however small