Words of Reassurance ........

SurreyLass1

I know that as it is a long weekend, some people will find themselves realising their situations, and might find themselves here.

I wanted to let anyone know, who is taking the 1st tentative steps to facing up to their situations, and possibly going down the route of BR, how I am feeling almost 4 weeks post BR.

Early February I had my lightbulb moment, and realised what a mess I was in - I told my husband (who knew nothing at all about my mess) and phoned the CCCS. I went BR on 28th March - I was literally petrified.

I can honestly say that for the first time in well over 12 years I
- sleep well
- dont feel sick each time the postman walks down the garden
- dont snap and snipe at my husband (well, not much anyway!!!)
- feel genuinely relaxed

I know the next 11 and a bit months wont be a walk in the park, BUT it is a hell of a lot more pleasant this side of the fence than it was on the other.

This forum has been an awesome source of information and advice.

If you are contemplating starting your journey this weekend, read lots, and dont be afraid to ask questions.

x

alastairq

- dont feel sick each time the postman walks down the garden

I bet the postman's pleased as well?


thanks for posting those words of encouragement.....

It is nice to see the positive side being continued by new blood.....it is what this forum needs.....as time passes, so the old hands at this lark need adding to or replacing.....

SurreyLass1

Without the words of advice I found here, I dont think I could have made the huge journey I have in under 2 months. 2 months ago, I thought my world was going to fall apart if I told my husband, instead, I find myself coming to terms with the changes I have had to make, my husband has been AMAZING and I feel like a different person - like the real me, from years and years ago, like I have lost years of worry and stress! Mind you, I still shout at the kids plenty!!!!!

I know its probably too sentimental for some, but then some of us need to here the emotional side too, not just the physical side.

alastairq

we cannot all be hard-nosed analysts...so sentiment and emotion, worry and stress, are all part and parcel of this forum....

thank you, SurreyLass, for taking the time to help us all....

Ineedaname

Thank you SurreyLass, your thoughts echo my own feelings at going BR exactly one month ago today. Although I was running a DMP prior to BR so virtually stress free, the debt was still there, hanging over my head demanding attention. The stress for me came from actually going BR and right up to the day before I was going over alternative options, looking at scenarios where I continued the DMP until I was well enough to work and then threw as much money at it all as I could for however many years.

So my health suffered greatly in the first couple of weeks post BR, but I'm on the sanity pills now and feeling much calmer about it all. I had my OR interview a week ago and, although I still worry he'll call back with more questions, feel I can now settle into being BR and just get on with life for the next few months.

That's just my perspective and probably won't relate to the majority of cases. But I do think most people don't breathe that sigh of relief properly until after their OR interview.

iquit

Thank you for thinking about the other people out there who may be in difficult financial situations, thank you for posting this thread to offer them support and an insight into the experience.

fiveyearplan

That is reassuring for newbies to read your post. I think we all felt the same when we went BR. Its a huge relief! I'm 3 years post BR, so half way to having it fall of my credit file.

philnicandamy

fiveyearplan wrote: »

I'm 3 years post BR.

I'm over 4 now :p


Seriously though surrey...this is a superb post!

..although alistair? dont think I need "replacing" yet maybe the odd body part? ;)

Its still the best thing I ever decided on in the end sure it felt the worst BUT the support & knowledge here is second to non...you'll be in safe hands no matter what

funny thing though? hated our postie at the door..go out for a drink once a month with him now!!

SurreyLass1

My husband knocked our postie off his bike in our car 3 years ago!

Thanks for the thanks - just felt I wanted to offer some 'emotional' support to back up the practical support that is on offer

x

kes0904

Sorry for the late reply to this- been away for the weekend- but I just wanted to say you are so right SurreyLass!

We are having our OR interview tomorrow morning, and I'm not scared!
I've calmed down, ready to face each thing as it comes along, and for the first time in a VERY LONG time (13 years of coping with debt)- I am not worrying about the next bill I need to pay, whether I've got enough to cover our food shopping, and generally feeling sick about our finances.

The whole bankruptcy "thing" started when I sat down with a close friend of mine & her financial adviser. She said he had been brilliant sorting her new mortgage, house move etc. She was going to see if there was anything she & he could do to help.
Bless her- with us both having over £85k worth of debt between us, it was a very tall ask- and her adviser said it would not be a good decision to financial help us, and the best thing we could do is file for bankrupcy for a clean slate.
He explained that losing our home was very likely and the thought of that just made me feel sick.
I cried all the way home- imagining me, hubby and the kids stood on the street with nowhere to live!

The other reason I cried all the way home was I had always been the one that dealt with the money side of things and thought I was protecting my husband by dealing with it all, and for him to not know the full extent of our debts.
So the thought of telling him was so scary, and although we are a really strong couple- I knew this would be a biggy to announce to him!

But true to form, he was his usual amazing self- we came to terms with our new "adventure".
Forms were filed nearly two weeks ago, and that went very smoothly. In a weird way- it felt good to have the stamped paperwork in our hands!
OR interview tomorrow- and she seems very nice to deal with, so it takes away the fear.

I know we are very likely going to lose my car- I have a new Ford Fiesta on a PCP plan- it's worth £8000, and we owe about that on the finance. We pay £289 a month, so can't imagine we'll be able to carry on paying for it from our outgoings.
We have decided to stop paying the mortgage and plan to rent- the OR said it will take a good few months before we would need to get out- so time to get a deposit together and find somewhere for the 4 of us.

Have now decided to take each step as it comes, and stop worrying so much.
Each day has got easier and easier

Just wanted to share in case anyone is feeling like I was a few weeks ago- there's still lots to deal with, but we are FINALLY going in the right direction to a debt free life without the MASSIVE worries!