A little update

domesticgoddess

Haven't been here for a while, not sure if anyone will remember but I suspected that my partner had a serious debt problem, I confronted him and he said he did, he promised he would sort it but nothing happened, I let him have his space for ages and then one day found a letter which made me think he had enough time to deal with it, anyway I wrote him a letter telling him to tell me the amount and that it couldn't be as bad as me not knowing.

He told me and it was over £50K more than I thought it would be. It has meant that a lot of my dreams have had to change, some I have had to let go.

But it's ok, most of the dreams were about getting a bigger house etc, well a bigger house is more to clean and more hassle so in the end that's ok.

So we are both on DMP's now, we budget, meal plan and have ups and downs but life goes on.

This is our first xmas on a DMP and we've budgeted and planned as much as we could and have even said that there will have to be changes.

It's a tough time of year but I'm hoping we can make it.

Hope we all have a great Christmas one we can all manage !

DG

whatatwit

Good luck to both of you.

greengrass

Hi domesticgoddess

Well it takes some guts for him to come out with his debt problems, and you are a kind person for sticking by and resolving the problem together. My friend has suspected her husband has had debts for the last few years, he will not open a joint bank account with her, anyway she has discovered they are in the region of 43000 but she still does not know what he has been spending the money on, and they are still not working it out together as he wants to sort it alone, so I think he is being deceitful to her. I am glad yours is out in the open and you can work it together.

domesticgoddess

greengrass wrote:

Hi domesticgoddess

Well it takes some guts for him to come out with his debt problems, and you are a kind person for sticking by and resolving the problem together. My friend has suspected her husband has had debts for the last few years, he will not open a joint bank account with her, anyway she has discovered they are in the region of 43000 but she still does not know what he has been spending the money on, and they are still not working it out together as he wants to sort it alone, so I think he is being deceitful to her. I am glad yours is out in the open and you can work it together.

It wasn't easy for him or me, he wasn't the man I thought he was, but part of me thinks I should have seen it from the word go. He habits were not of a person who didn't have a problem.

Maybe he will come clean, my partner said that because I led by example that it proved to him it could be done. Have to say the CCCS have been fab and have really made life easier for us. At one stage or another we have both been on the phone in tears to them.

I hope they can work it out

duncans-mum_2

Domestic goddess. Although the situation you have found yourself in is not nice to hear, it is nice that you managed to allow him to confide in you which must have been pretty scary for him to admit, and that you have not ran away screaming, and are there to support him with it.

I hope too that you have a good christmas regardless of the changes you have had to make, but whatever you do, without any underlying stress of not facing up to the debt, that must make it a happy one.

Don't necessarily give up on your dreams, just postpone them, and you will still have the motivation to keep going, and have something to aim for in the future.

All the best.

bride2be2006

Hi Domestic Goddess, I remember you cos you live in the Faraway tree!!! I loved those books as a child! Glad to hear you seem to be chipping away at the debts, hope you have a fab Christmas