Do you

looby75

TBH I blame myself mainly, my ex husband, the DPW and the lenders.

LOL not that I'm passing the buck...let me explain.

I and my husband lived the buy now pay later life, we always said that debt wasn't debt unless you couldn't afford to repay it. I now know that's wrong but we were young and stupid. So we both had credit cards we used to keep up with the rest of the family/the neighbours/friends

Then my ex decided he wanted to trade me in for a younger model, so I ended up on benefits and for the time being have no choice but to use them (youngest son has health problems)

The DWP are a totally useless incompetent dept, they took months to set up my claim as they lost all my application forms so I was forced to use my credit cards to live on and I made the mistake of paying bills with them, thinking I could catch up later when I got a job (this was before my ds health problems appeared) when benefits finally came through the backpay was just a dip in the ocean of what I had used, I paid off as much as I could but was left with a substantial deficit.

Less than 12 months later the DWP messed up again (due to a computer error this time ) and yet again I was left for 12 weeks without receiving a penny, to live on so again I had to use my cc for everything. It was a case of robbing peter to pay paul

My situation came to a head a few months ago when a death in the family meant that I had to find extra money for loan repayments that I had taken out for a relative who had been completely desperate and who had been making those loan payments before the death.

I phoned one of my creditors to inform them of the situation and just a few weeks later I received an letter telling my credit limit on one of my cc had been upped by £500!

So that is why I think that although I am ultimately to blame for making bad decisions in the past, I'm not solely to blame because there have been other mitigating factors in my debt.

IN the end I do plan to pay every penny back though.....that is if I don't die before I do it current forecasts say it will take me over 90 years to do it :eek:

JGWT8M

There is a serious problem with the industry, my bank quiet literally gave me as much as I wanted, I was (still am) self-employed, had no assets other than stock, they did no checks, not even asking for copies of accounts and as far as I know, didn't even bother to credit check me, they just gave me a £20k overdraft no questions asked.

At the end of the day it is my fault for getting into this mess, but if the bank had been tighter on their lending requirements, I probably wouldn't be here now, so they must shoulder some of the blame (perhaps that's why they are being so nice).

Like another poster, it was only the arrival of my Son that smacked me hard enough to face up to my problems and deal with them, but like looby75, my forecast predicts I will die before doing so.

piglet6

I blame myself - simple, with no other option, as far as I am concerned.

In fact, (and I realise I risk getting shot down here!), I am grateful to my bank for bailing me out with credit when I needed it... I don't blame them for the high interest rates - sure, I wish that they had been lower:rolleyes:, but if I was lending the money, I wouldn't do it for nothing either, so why should I complain for having to pay interest on money I borrowed (particularly as at the time I was not a particularly good credit risk, having a very low guaranteed income...therefore there was a high risk of me not paying it back!).

Of course they wanted me to borrow more and more, at stupidly high interest rates...but at the end of the day, this is how they make their money - and just because somebody offers you something, doesn't mean its right to accept it, does it?! As an adult, I am supposed to be responsible enough for my own actions - lets face it, if somebody offered me Class A drugs, I hope I would be responsible enough to refuse, and, if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to blame them for my drug problem... Why should money be any different...?

*Preparing to be flamed for my views...* :rotfl:

Piglet

Xbigman

Circumstances were against me but ultimately it was all the stupid decisions I made that were my real problem. All the !!!!!! that happened in my life just made the final financial crash come along quicker and deeper.
I've mellowed in recent years so I now see the way my life has unfolded quite optimisticly. My financial death at 27 was early enough to still make a few mistakes but recover to the lofty, er, middle ground I've reached now.
I shudder to think what would have happened if I had had a long drawn out death rattle that dragged on into my 40's.

So, yep, blame myself. And it took me 12 years of denial before I said that.
Regards


X

livinginhope

I think I'm a bit of an odd one here I blame the insurance company for making us pay everything before their miserly paypout,I blame my bank,Lloyds,for showering us with credit on the say so of the insurance company,I don't blame me or DH,we were victims of circumstance,emotionaly wrecked and in a daze,we were told what to do and did it,now we have to pay.

looby75

livinginhope wrote:

I think I'm a bit of an odd one here I blame the insurance company for making us pay everything before their miserly paypout,I blame my bank,Lloyds,for showering us with credit on the say so of the insurance company,I don't blame me or DH,we were victims of circumstance,emotionaly wrecked and in a daze,we were told what to do and did it,now we have to pay.

I don't know your full circumstances but it does sound as though you have had a horrendous time and I would tend to agree with you, from what you have posted you and your dh aren't to blame.

iolanthe07

Banks should check incomes more rigorously because a lot of people lie/exaggerate when applying for credit, and then later, when they find they can't repay, blame the bank! And how many people on these boards moan when they are turned down for credit cards, loans, etc without realising that the lending institutions are actually doing them a favour?

lauren_1

I personaaly blame me !!!!!! of an ex for taking all my possetions (but i kept the flat) but he even took the sofa (mine from before we even got together), telly, cd's and dvd's, washing machine, beds, stuff my mum gave me for MY first house, bookcases, all the food from the cubboards (still had a child to feed):mad: , towels, bedding, my nice going out clothes and my underwear:mad: and the electric key.
OH blames his ex wife for doing the same but he escaped with 1 bag of clothes and his car + a few cd's and a shedload of her debt, luckily hilton and marbles had sent me 2 new credit cards totalling £4000 limits so we could get the basics, we were workmates back then, but i had a flat with cheap rent, he had a handy car to take us to ikea. match made in skintville He was also very good with my daughter and put up her flat pack bed (the to$$er even took that) 3 weeks later it was christmas eve and i asked him to stay for good

mrs_bellamy

I do blame myself. I didnt have to be so reckless as a teenager, I didnt have to buy rounds of drinks for people who only appear when you are at the bar, I didnt have to pay the whole taxi fare when others were sharing the journey, I didnt need to buy stuff simply because I was out with someone who was buying something. Noone would have thought less of me for not spending, but I was trying to keep up the careless attitude I guess. Recognising your financial limit and keeping to it is a very responsible attitude to have, and I didnt want to be that grown up.
I didnt have to take out loans to consolidate debts, I could have tightened belts and paid off the bills. I could have cancelled the cards, but I didnt. And boy do I wish I could have another go at it (the youth, the energy, the disposable income!) but I cant and thats why I am here.
I feel if I even try to blame someone else, I will justify my actions in my mind and tempt myself to do it again (the 'But THIS time I will be careful and only spend on the card if I NEED to' line.), and I REALLY dont want that, because I know where it will lead.