Complicated?

katevw1

In my own little world I feel like life is so complicated and everyone else just breezes through. I know this is not the case in reality but I feel so wound down sometimes by the complications that arise and I'm struggling to see through it all at the moment.

Does everyone find life like this? I don't know if I just need a rant to get it off my chest or stop making mountains out of mole hills.

backinbusiness

Kate

Hello. The truth is you can never really know what's going though other people's minds or what they have on their plate.

Pretty much everyone has their insecurities, doubts and tribulations at one time or another.

Some just may be better than others at hiding them.

Is it money worries that are getting on top of you?

Can you elaborate and see if we can help you?

Take care

bib

katevw1

Hi, I don't even know where to begin. I'm pondering over so many things and the days are just not long enough to get through it all. However the nights do pretty good!
1. I would like to stop teaching for my nan's dancing school and start my own school.
2. We might be due some inheritance which may be worth a lot of money.
3. We are getting married at the end of august. (Not the brightest idea my family have had!)
4. What do we do with the inheritance money - put it towards the quick shrinking debts, keep it for a deposit for a house, get a full and final settlement for my other half's IVA, Put it into a new business to make us more money
5. OH exasperates me - he's decided to go chasing after PPI from an old loan. He didn't discuss this with me and I've already done it successfully.
6. Stay on at current job staying all depressed and stressed.
7. However, without work how the hell do I pay all y outgoings.

Are you as confuddled as me yet?! I'm just having one of those weeks when you're just really negative and can't make decisions. OH's nan died a little while ago and the will has been a bit of a shock. It wasn't what his dad was expecting and so he is arguing with OH's aunt as to how the rest of the money is going to be split. We may be able to move forward and get a plan of action if we knew what was going to happen.

Wow. Mega long post. Sorry.

May2013

Kate your not alone!

I think more people than you can possibly imagine put on a public face to disguise all the 'stuff' thats hidden behind the facade.
I have found this forum a great release from my debt ridden demons...to the people in my real world I'm a sucessful business woman on a great salary and with the world at my feet. In reality I am strangled by debt, living on a shoe string, buying the few clothes I have from charity shops or if I'm feeling flush Tesco's and ducking a diving to avoid invites to social events that I just simply can't afford to attend. I live in fear that one of my collegues will one day turn up at my home as I live in an ex council house that is in desperate need of repair but with budget for the house being spent on the motgage even a pot of paint is out of reach at the moment!
I basically live a lie and I'm terrified that one day I'll get found out, but on here I am the real me....I draw my strength from the truly inspirational stories that the good folk here feel able to share and at times feel blessed that my life isn't really that bad!

Rant away, that's what we're all here for xx

backinbusiness

Hey Kate.

You do have lots on, and huge amounts of uncertainty.

You could go round in circles considering the "what, ifs and buts". Perhaps best to sit it out and see what happens?

You sound a little overwhelmed - can you make some time for yourself in all of this?

bib

caledonian_princess

Oh Kate, it's horrible when everything is in such a state of flux and some things are beyond your control, I went through just such a period earlier this year. For now, I'd suggest you concentrate on the things you can control such as the wedding and your job. Try to put the possible inheritance to the back of your mind until such time as you have confirmation that you will be getting something. As for OH being exasperating... isn't that in their job description

katevw1

If we knew about the money I could perhaps make a more informed decision on my current job. I'm too scared to be without work. I'm qualified to do nothing except "fouette turns" and I know normal employers don't appreciate that. I think it's the job that's getting me down to be honest but that a wholenother story. Sometimes I hate being loyal and feeling so guilty all the time.

It is a little comforting to know that people do face these trials and tribulations too.

Thanks all.x

May2013

Poor you, you really have got a lot on and it looks like you're taking the burden of all the decision making on your shoulders.

You've got a list...that's always a greats start in my thinking! I always try to deal with a few quick fixes (with the lowest risk) to get the ball rolling although to be honest I don't see many of those in your list other than getting the OH under control....and in my experience that never quite gets fixed.

As the others have suggested I think you need to stand back from this as much as possible. Think about how you'd like your life to look in say 5 years time and then work out what you need to do to make that happen. You're going through an emotionally draining time right now and that's probably clouding your logic...give yourself time, it will all seem easier when the mist has cleared.

katevw1

I will sit on it all and wait a little. Very busy for the next few weeks anyway.
Maybe I will be back in a little while. For now, thanks anyway.x