Anyone else fed up of wedding prep?

vodkashot

I'm getting married in a few months and having a large do. I know I should be grateful at being able to have a good budget and invite pretty much all my friends and family. My fiance has been great and has helped and supported me with everything but the major planning has been down to me and my folks.

Last year when we started planning it all, the day felt such a long way off that I wasn't very excited at all about the event. As time draws closer I am looking forward to it a bit but in my heart I would rather the day just pass me by and then we can get on with what is actually important which is being married as opposed to getting married.

It sometimes seems that I can't do anything right. for example I want a chocolate cake but my folks want a fruit cake because its 'traditional'. Who cares... it's a cake! But for a quiet life I've agreed to a fruit cake.

The caterer we chose wasn't as good another one we visited, dessert should be this not that... etc etc

This morning I then get moaned at for not doing things properly. Inviting someone to our wedding when they shouldn't be invited.

TBH and I know some of you will say that it's our day and we should do it our way but I can't do all the moaning and arguing, I would rather the two of us just get married with no-one there and we wouldn't have to spend a fortune with me thinking that the money could be put to a much better use.

Sorry to moan but I haven't got anyone else to let it all out with.

Hadley1

Hey

Just thought I say hi and give you a virtual hug!

I'm only at the beginning stage of planning and am already having a bit of a disagreement with my mum about my dress... one dress I tried on is the perfect one.... as she keeps saying "if she was getting married it would be the dress". Thats great, but she isn't and whilst i do like the dress am not sure its 100% me.

MrsDrink

I'm really struggling to know what to write here!! I am very much in the early stages of planning my wedding so as yet I'm not fed up of it... while my gut instinct says "it's your wedding do it how you want to do it" I can appreciate that in practice things are rarely that easy. I am lucky in that my mum is so laid back she wouldn't care if I turned up in a lion costume and crawled on my hands and knees down the aisle - if that's what I wanted. MrD's mum is a little bit more traditionalistic but at the moment her comments have been helpful and making us just mull things over rather than being all out "you Must do this you Must do that".

I have no words of advice really. Can you share your grievances with your fiance? Not in a 'Help me plan' kinda way, more in a 'aaaaaaargh listen to me rant' kinda way. Just remember this is only one day of the rest of your lives... if you have to let others influence your decisions (for peace and quiet) remember your marriage will be conducted how you want it to be. Just a thought - have you organised a honeymoon? Perhaps focus on this? In a light at the end of the tunnel kinda way?

Alternatively sit down with your OH air your feelings, see if he shares them, outline the wedding you both want. Then tell your respective families - they either back off and let you two do it how you want to or you'll run off to gretna green and none of them will be invited (Tempting I'm sure!)

Rahven

Been there already (even tho not getting married for over a year) and pretty sure I'll be there again before the day.

Shame you're not getting what you want, but equally if you find it easier to just get on with it and let them take over then that's understandable too.

MrsD's advice is very good, and may well help you feel a bit more back on track, even if it just involves getting it all out *hugs*

rubyrara

I'm right there with you vodkashot....I would quite happily let him do everything and I just turn up! It was stressful enough going to get my dress! And the fact that everyone thinks all you want to talk about is your wedding, and that's just not the case with me!

I want to enjoy myself, but its not my be all and end all!

Glad someone else shares my sentiments!

vodkashot

Thanks for the replies. Think I will have to grin and bear it but at least I know I am not alone.
The whole thing is so overwhelming but I will keep to my to do lists and let the criticism go in one ear and out of the other! Worst case the folks can have the wedding they want and next year me and hubby to be can go and renew our vows on a beach somewhere without anyone else being present!

sharpee

Remeber its your daya nd should reflect your personalities.

I too have had the cake arguement but H2B and I love chocolate cake so that's what we're having along with a carrot cake to suit other.

Remember its your day no-one elses opinion counts apart from yours and your partners (unless family are financially contributing )

Don't stress about :j

twirlypinky

I know what you mean. Everyone seems to have an opinion on what you're doing, and they're not afraid to share it with you.

MrsDrink

Vodka - it might just be me - but to renew your vows how you want it to be after your 'special' day just doesn't seem fair on you.

Is there anyway you could do it the other way round. You and MrVodka go get married in secret, then turn the wedding that you've got planned already into a 'renewal' of those vows?

jenhug

its not the wedding preparations getting you down, its your parents.
My advice? Go back and change it to everything YOU want it to be. Or you will regret it forever.

vodkashot

Well going back to do it how I want it would be rather expensive to simply just throw that money away. My parents are helping financially which is why they want their say. I'm sure it will all be fine.

Will i regret it, possibly, but I will regret it more if I make them unhappy. It's only one day after all and I'm not the sentimental type to think that this is the best day of our life. it isn't, everyday with Mr Vodka is. A wedding won't change that.