just interested in seeing your opinion on this

mr_and_mrs_ts

i had breast cancer, now seeing light at end of tunnel, one of dd best friends mum doesn't really chat now (lucky to get a hello - not done anything wrong), never gave my dd a birthday present nor card (realise times are hard atm) i have never before liked to take things out on children but do i buy for the child when it comes to theirs???

any ideas / opinions welcomed.

spugzbunny

I am of the opinion that it is always best to be the bigger person. Send a card and rise above it. There is also the fact that the daughter has done nothing wrong.

Do you think she has stopped talking to you because of breast cancer?

mr_and_mrs_ts

yes i think so - i'm of that opinion too - thanks for that

mr_knight

Myabe she just doesn't know what to say, not right but a possibility? I agree though, be the bigger person and send a card.

mr_and_mrs_ts

i think that is the case - it doesn't bother me, but does when children are involved. I have chatted to my dd about things regarding myself and people so she is aware.

mr_knight

Has the friends little girl said anything to you DD? I agree though the little girl shouldn't miss out becuase her mum can't handle a situation.

jcr16

oh hun i'm sorry your experiancing this behaviour.

i have experianced it in the past and it is truely awful. to not of changed at all, yet to get treated so diff for no reason. But when it effects your children it is heartbreaking. There really is no rhyme nor reason from some people as to why they change.

but i would say just carry on as your doing. there maybe an underlying reason as to why the mum can't cope with your cancer and instead of being more of a friend is shutting herself away from you.

i always try to see the good in others, so maybe in time she will come around. but it isn't nice.

mr_and_mrs_ts

thanks - I don't think dd has had anything said to her re: me. i have asked and she said no. I do think though she is a smart little cookie and has realised things on her own (things changed since mummy(me) lost my hair and as a result has grown apart from the other best friend. Although I don't like it, i have chatted to dd about life / people and character and how not to judge people from outside and it's the inside that counts. She talks quite happily to me about my 'old' hair and my 'new' hair.She is experiencing LIFE early and am trying to give her the tools to understand. I said to her that if people really wanted to wish her a happy birthday then it's the thought that counts and if they care about her they will show it. I'm not bothered about the other friend's mum - I am polite . thanks for comments, I will carry on as I am and give a card out of politeness. Regards.

nykied

I agree with others and think it could be that she doesn't know what to say to you. Some of my friends were a bit odd with me when I was in the same situation. Once they realised I was being my normal self, they came round, but this woman might not have the time to see that you're being your normal self.

I'd buy the card and carry on saying hello. Rise above it, to echo spugzbunny.

annie-c

Just a thought, but it might be that the friend's mum has her own troubles at the moment and feels unable to share them so as not to burden you further?

I too would still celebrate the child's birthday as normal. xx

LJM

i have someone who runs hot and cold sometimes they talk sometimes they dont i used to let it bother me but now i dont their problem not mine lol. im just wondering if your friend didnt know what to say and maybe feels she has left it too long now