“Let it go”, move on and start enjoying life

looking-up_2

Hello there diarists,
I’ve been a lurker on here for quite some time and been reading all about the determination many of you have shown in clearing your debts. I feel stuck and hopefully, some of the magic dust will rub off on me. My situation is a little bit different but I hope you will allow me to stay.
My story started 5 years ago, when I sold my house and put a large part of the money into buying a business. This business was a dead horse, and loss money from the start. It involved quite a few buyers. We have all closed down the business now but it has resulted in people running up large debts just to exist and several bankruptcies. I was lucky (?) in that I didn’t take out any external finance to fund the purchase but the bad news is that I have had to use all the house sale funds to just survive over the past 5 years and now the tank is well and truly empty.

Now I’m in a position that I have to find a way of earning money and fast. Basically, I’m at the stage where I won’t be able to pay my bills at the end of the month and therefore the slide into debt will begin. In fact, scratch that, it’s already started as I’ve only paid the minimum on my credit card today, rather than paying it all off.

So my immediate goals are:
- Earn at least £1000 by the end of April to pay essential bills. Focus on getting a job and in meantime Ebay as much as possible
- Something that seems to be on everybody’s list - Lose weight. I am close to my target weight but with recent worries, I’ve been cheering myself up by comfort eating. This has got to stop as a) I end up feeling worse and b) it costs me £5 every week I am not at target (slimming world).
- Finally, probably the most important - “Let it go”, move on and start enjoying life. This is related to feelings of anger at the people who sold us the business, self-pity at the loss of all my savings that took all my working life so far to accumulate and a big hit to my self-confidence. I’ve got to put these to one side and start rebuilding my dreams. Any help with motivation will be greatly appreciated.

So far, I have applied for 2 temporary jobs. On the ebay front, I’ve sorted out all my summer clothes and identified a huge pile that I’m going to sell.
My username? Well, whenever I feel down, I try to remember to ‘look up’ at the beautiful countryside / blue-sky, which always seems to cheer me up.

Bye for now

Little_bit_dizzy

Just wanted to wish you luck on your mission!

I'll pop back to see how you do - good luck with the job hunt.

EssexHebridean

Wow - you sound really determined! I'm broadly similar in that although not actually in debt, if I take my eye off the ball we very soon could be, so I can probably say that they'll let you have squatters rights on here!

Check out all the cashback sites, surveys etc. Although you might not earn *much* I guess that, like me, you're working on the basis that every little helps at the moment?!

startagain_2

Hi there and Welcome!!

I am so sorry to hear of your business woes - like anything that goes pear shaped we have to learn to "get over it" - this is from someone who is still "getting over" all sorts of carp but determined to get there.
Motivation comes from being here and the amazing support that you get from the great people on here. Providing you are honest and genuine there are always some great posters just a few minutes away, believe me.
Debt is a horrid thing and so is having to start again from scratch, but you sound determined and we are all behind you. I shall subscribe to your diary and try and pop in as much as I can. Takes my mind off my own troubles
SA

Lula-Hula

Welcome to the wonderful world of DFW -

There will be a way to sort out your current situation & the fabby people here will help you find it.

Keep posting
xx

Wordsmith

A good, positive first post! Welcome and best wishes. It is hard, so hard, letting go of anger and feelings of unjustness and "it's just not fair", but hanging on to them is just condemning oneself to unhappiness - what's the point? So many people don't even recognise they've got to let go, others refuse to, but it is the minority that do allow themselves to move forward that are the content ones. You also have a great and positive username. I love this diary already! And I follow and admire everyone who has posted in it so far (all positive people), so you will have some fantastic minds and sensible-heads to help you on your way. I can only look on in wonder at their experiences and advice, but I can still offer moral support from the sidelines. Good luck on the job applications.

startagain_2

And remember, Don't be a stranger!

As a diarist myself, I know it is only too easy like a lot of new resolutions, diets, plans - you start off with the best of intentions and then the willpower gradually fades away and it becomes too much effort to keep posting. That is when it is most important, believe me. You need to feel that you are not alone, and you never will be on here, believe me.

SA

looking-up_2

Many thanks to all those who have joined the thread – your encouragement really is appreciated.

Your replies really rung true for me. I swing from being really determined to complete apathy. A dear friend recently said to me when I proudly said that I'd spent a worthwhile morning writing lists and planning out my next move....he said "well, all you've done is spent a morning thinking and planning - when are you going to start doing something about it?" Made me realise that although I'd convinced myself that I'd been moving forward...it was just another form of procrastination, which is something I am expert at.


I currently do shopandscan which I enjoy. I swap the points for Amazon vouchers which I use for any pressies or household item that we need. I used to do surveys but find them so boring and they seem to take ages before payout. Lightspeed was probably the best. I haven’t been on there since they were taken over, but I might return – every little helps so they say.

I have my outgoings pretty much down to the minimum. I was brought up in an old-style household so found it was easy to pick-up all those habits that my Mum lived by. I do have expensive medical insurance for me and the dog but we both have had major health problems in the past. Our current policies cover us for past illnesses with no claim limits, where as if I moved insurance companies, they would exclude previous conditions. Mine has increased drastically this year and I’ve decided if they hike it again next year, I will have to cancel. The car and house insurance I shop around every year and my really basic mobile phone is on Tescos PAYG. I make a handful of calls per month and the £20 I topped up with at Christmas is virtually still in tact. Shopping – I do a big shop at Mr Ts once a month and top up odd bits in between. I down-shifted from the big brands a year or 2 ago and happy to try most store own-brands and if they taste ok, then I’ll stick with them.

We do have sky but we phoned up recently, threaten to cancel and they halved the monthly bill – so it can stay for the time being.

The largest outgoing is rent and utility bills. Our lease doesn’t allow us to switch suppliers so we are kinda stuck there. I have read that strictly speaking the landlord can’t force this clause on us but I want to stay on good terms with the landlord/agent, so don’t want to rock the boat. The water is on a meter. I am thinking of moving into a smaller house which will save money on rent and council tax, but I’ll need some excess funds for removals, etc., so that has been put off until I have a reliable income.

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I popped out this morning to see friends (£1.50 coffee club spend from cash in purse) . However, I came straight home afterwards, rather than potter round the shops like I would normally do. I don't have an expensive shopping habit as such (no shoes/handbag addiction for me) but I do like to wander round the charity shops which sounds MSE but £40-£50 can disappear in an afternoon if you have as many charity shops as we seem to round here.
I also avoided the chocolate biscuits which will please the scales.

I’m going to spend the rest of the weekend de-cluttering and listing on ebay. Plus getting outside in the fresh air whilst we have a glimmer of sunshine.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend

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Current Debts : £258 credit cd and to DH £200
Incomings so far in April £109.55
Revised Predicted balance at end of the month £-793.32 (Assuming will pay DH but not CC). A long way to go...

looking-up_2

A fairly good weekend.
I spent the days listing on Ebay and had quite a few sales of things I listed last week.

Been good food-wise made slightly easier by the cold bug I’ve picked up. I’m trying real hard not to slide into ‘you’ve got a horrible cold so go on …have comfort food and chocolate to cheer yourself up’ type of thinking. I’m trying for the ‘ stick to healthy food and lemon tea, and you’ll fight it off quicker’. Weigh-in tomorrow so if I can at least fool myself for another day, the resulting weight loss will hopefully give me a motivational nudge for the next few days. I know the rules and have successful lost 3.5 stone with slimming world in the past. The trouble is, when I go off the rails, I do so in a big way and in a few weeks before and after Christmas, I managed to put on over a stone and a half. I returned to SW in Jan, lost half a stone but just can’t get back fully engaged this time round. A bad day turns into a bad week and then I’ve gained a few more pounds to lose. Anyway, enough of that…let’s just concentrate on today. One day at a time….

Sunday – NSD.

I’m afraid today won’t be as I’ve got to go to the post office but will try and resist the call of the supermarket (remind myself I don’t NEED anything and that putting shopping on the credit card is still real spending) and definitely don’t even walk near the charity shops, as I’m bound to see a bargain from the window.

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Current Debts : £258 credit cd and to DH £200
Incomings so far in April £166.34 (ebay)
Revised Predicted balance at end of the month £-566.91 (Assuming will pay DH but not CC). (possibly more as car insurance is due soon – Action:check renewal date and phone round for quotes. Remember cash-back and ask if can pay monthly)

looking-up_2

Some really good news this morning..I've just received an email with a conditional offer for one of the jobs I applied for (census). Its been a long process. I was told I was on the reserve list but having been reading the 'census jobs' thread, and the closeness of the job start date, I'd given up all hope.

Its for less hours and a different area than I applied for but given the circumstances I'm still very grateful. I've done a lot of family history research myself and have used previous census information to help. So, I like the idea of being involved in gathering information for future historians. Plus of course, the money will be so appreciated,

Minor problem of having to fit in classroom training between now and Wednesday. When I click on the book session link, it tells me 'no slots available' - so its another phone call to the help line.

Anyway...that's really cheered me up...and perhaps means that others patiently waiting on the reserve list may get their offers too.

Have a good day folks...

bugslet

Hey good news on the job front lookingup! Hoepfully this is the start of a run o good luck for you