Can I afford to start a family?

Floxxie

I was just wanted to add a few words to everything that has been said so far.

We had our son when we were £40k in debt. I had to go back to work to clear the debt (we had annual bonuses and share options). We cleared everything in 17 months and decided to try for another child. It took us another 5 years and many tears before our second son was born. What I am trying to say is that you don't know what is around the corner - you may not be able to have children when the time is 'right' or you may be debt free and then both lose your jobs (sorry that sounds very negative!)

I think it has already been mentioned about being 'mentally' ready and managing regardless of your financial position. Having children is a lifestyle change but if you take the advice on these boards children do not need to add to your debt.

Good luck!

immoral_angeluk

We've got a toddler and are expecting our 2nd in January. Neither one has been planned (My body doesn't get on well with hormonal contraceptives but that's another story!) and if we would've waited till we could afford kids we would never have them. Kids are expensive, there's no doubting that, but you DO get outside help. We currently get £35 a week from tax credits as well as £69.80 child benefit every month, plus 80% of our childcare costs paid by tax credits (Our little girl isn't in nursery at the moment as I'm on maternity leave.).
You do find a way to manage and it's a case of nothing can prepare you for the expense and life changing times that are having babies... but you learn to manage and the rewards far outweight any possible downsides.
Unless you would literally be made homeless and not be able to afford to feed yourselves or your kids then my advice for anyone thinking about having children is go for it, you won't regret it.
We wouldn't be doing it all over again if it wasn't worth it!

OneSpike

Hi. I've just read your other thread too. Firstly just to say well done for facing it all and sorting out your finances :T

I agree wholeheartedly with pp that you have to be mentally ready to have children, and that I'd rather be a million times heavier in debt than not have my DD - I'd sell the stepkids though I'd love another child and that was the plan, before the skids came to live with us, but Nathaniel thinks the stress of our existing family situation + the debt + a newborn would just about finish him off. 'Can we have another?' is a whole other ball game!

Anyway, you've done the sensible thing working out how childcare and work would work out. I don't know the ins and outs of your setup, but is putting a child in nursery and going back to your old job the only way? Could you either work p/t, get a relative to help with (free) childcare or work from home? I should say that last one is only really an option when they're still pretty small as children require loads of interaction and really don't care that Mummy has an important phone call to make or *has* to write this report. Many women set themselves up as childminders once they have their own children, but you really have to like children for that option to work!

As to all the bits you need, well for a start you don't need half the stuff the retailers would like to brainwash you is vital, and that which you do need is fairly easily come by cheap or free on Freecycle, and failing that there's always indulgent grandparents. It's always a weigh-up, but ultimately where there's a will there's a way. You could always compromise and allow yourself a year of hard saving before you start ttc, so you have a buffer if/when income drops.

HTH.

do_it_today!

Thanks Floxxie for your post and Thank you Pollyanna for starting the thread... this question is heavily on my mind also.... I am 31 and have about 12k worth of CC debt - which I aim to clear in the next two years.
We would like to move to a better area before having kids but doing this would double our mortgage commitment and I would have to go straight back to work (which I dont like anyway!) I really dont feel time is on our side in terms of having a family - however I realise having children is stressful enough without the worry of keeping up with financial commitments... any thoughts would be welcome...

SkintMonkey

I've found this thread really interesting. I'm 26 and my husband and I are planning to move to a bigger house in a better area next year (fingers crossed). I really want to start a family (we've been together 7 years) as soon as possible, but my hubby being the sensible chap he is wants us to wait until we move house. So we've agreed to wait until then. My debt is less than £4k, but it worries me about budgets, being on maternity leave etc.

You do sound like you've got your head screwed on..just continue doing the research and do a spreadsheet of what money you have and what your likely outgoings will be when you fall pregnant, go on maternity leave then have baby. Ask friends who have kids about the costs or go on the numerous parenting sites to get a good idea about what the costs could be.

Anyway, this is what I intend to do - hope it helps, even a little!

Take it easy
SMx

Mrs_Sparkle

immoral_angeluk wrote:

Kids are expensive, there's no doubting that, but you DO get outside help. We currently get £35 a week from tax credits as well as £69.80 child benefit every month, plus 80% of our childcare costs paid by tax credits (Our little girl isn't in nursery at the moment as I'm on maternity leave.).

Just to say that you don't always get outside help. The only thing I'm entitled to is family allowance. And childcare is going to cost £600-800 a month for us with no subsidy :eek:

Floxxie

I currently work to pay the nursery bill and come out at the end of the month with £40. There's no help for us at all and we are definitely not well paid!

Just to add some thoughts on those planning a family and moving and having debt....having cleared our debt we took on an enormous mortgage 3 years ago. I then gave up work full time (this cut out the horrendous nursery bills and the stress). I found a weekend job and before my second son was born I did telemarketing from home whilst my son was at playschool. I had to do it to escape from the fear that we would drown in debt and it would be my fault! I overpaid the mortgage with the money I was earning and kept a tight budget elsewhere. When it came to remortgaging we extended the term to the maximum length. And that is how we have managed it.

Where there is a will, there is a way and oh, I cheated a little bit by getting the mortgage based on my full time earnings before I quit.

Floxxie

do_it_today! wrote:

Thanks Floxxie for your post and Thank you Pollyanna for starting the thread... this question is heavily on my mind also.... I am 31 and have about 12k worth of CC debt - which I aim to clear in the next two years.
We would like to move to a better area before having kids but doing this would double our mortgage commitment and I would have to go straight back to work (which I dont like anyway!) I really dont feel time is on our side in terms of having a family - however I realise having children is stressful enough without the worry of keeping up with financial commitments... any thoughts would be welcome...

Is there any chance of clearing your debt in 12 months? Obviously I don't know your situation but there are plenty of suggestions on this site which can be done even if you are working full time. Remember a baby takes 9 months to 'make' and that's not taking into account the practising time! Would your approach to your debt change any if you found out tomorrow that you were pregnant? Maybe concentrate on that rather than trying to move? Good luck!

immoral_angeluk

Mrs_Sparkle wrote:

Just to say that you don't always get outside help. The only thing I'm entitled to is family allowance. And childcare is going to cost £600-800 a month for us with no subsidy :eek:

Ouch! :eek:

tinkerbell212

Hi, find out whether you get childcare vouchers through your and/or your partners work. Further, you make having a child as cheap or expensive as you want to. Personally I looked at what I wanted and then bought it for a third of the price on eBay. As soon as we were thinking about starting a family we started saving £2 coins and looked out for pigsback and boots points mistakes to save money there for the baby! Also, when you are at home during maternity leave you will save money because you will be able to shop around for bargains, cook from fresh (which really is cheaper and sometimes quicker then ready meals!!). It is quite funny how you find ways to make bits of cash, give your house a good clear out (you need the space for the babe!!) and sell items on eBay. Maybe as somebody suggested, do some questionaires. I don't know what your daily job is but maybe you can help a small company out with their admin and do this from home. Personally I don't know yet whether I will go back to work due to childcare costs, but if I don't go back to my old job, I will look for something where maybe I will work a few nights a week and a few Saturdays a month. Hubbie can then stay home with the baby and by being frugal we will still be able to pay our bills. Don't forget that if you don't work, you don't have travel costs, extra costs for buying things in your lunchbreak (one sandwich could buy you enough bread and stuff to put on it for a week) and also when your little one is there you will not be going out a lot in the first year.

You can wait with children, but do realise, it's not up to you. If you wait to long, you might not be able to have them...

Good luck sweet, and don't forget, things will always work out for those who believe in it!!