Morning Sickness, absence and colleague

basscadette

Hi all,

I have a double barrelled question here

I've been suffering from bad morning sickness, throwing up multiple times a day and such an overwhelming nausea that I can't concentrate on anything. I've been off two whole weeks, one self-certified and the other on a doctors note. I went back yesterday and was hopelessly ill all day, had to leave early as I was retching at my desk and I did nothing all day. DO I need to get another doctors note to not go back in today? Just I feel so unwell I don't feel able to walk to the doctors, even though it's only ten minutes away.

The other problem is when I went back in yesterday one of my colleagues was awful to me. The only thing she said to me all day was when I first got there, she said, "Ah, you're in. ***** had to miss her holiday because of you". After that, just evil glares, whispering when I left the room and ignored all day. I already felt sick enough but this was very stressful. She was a bit like this before I went off initially but I thought it was just a phase. It seems daft, but for example, she offered my other colleague a cup of coffee and ignored me. She was going out for lunch and asked my other colleague if she wanted anything and ignored me. It felt like I was being ostracised but I have no idea why and just found the whole thing very upsetting. Any advice? No point talking to her, she's in her fifties and should know better. Just kdon't know if I should raise a formal complaint or not as it has added to me not feeling able to go back in today.

Any advice much appreciated. :-/

DUTR

I would just aim for a speedy recovery 1st, I know you can't help being ill, but too much time off ill will not leave you good stead to hold the job
How would you feel if the company said we cant pay you while you are off because we had to get a temp in to cover your work as others are on leave, I'm sure you would be as displeased as your colleague having to forfeit her annual leave.

basscadette

Thanks DUTR - yes, I feel really guilty that others have to pick up the work. That's why I tried to go back before really I should have done. I don't think it's right how she was treating me though - she wasn't the one who gave up her holiday, it was my other colleague. I think it would have been nice to have felt welcomed back rather than feel like a pariah all day for something that really, isn't my fault. This woman won't go above and beyond the call of duty to cover, otherwise my other colleague wouldn't have had to come in. She'll only do her job and resents doing anything else outside.

Just looking for advice really on the doctors note situation. Spoke to my manager earlier and she is more sympathetic thankfully but they do need to know when I'm back. If I can get something his afternoon to stop the vomiting I should be able to handle the nausea at work I feel.

I don't know. I think morning sickness has been underrated. I've had Flu and Gastroenteritis and I felt more well than I do now. I would happy go on maternity leave now if it was an option (I'm only 11 weeks :-()

DUTR

basscadette wrote: »

Thanks DUTR - yes, I feel really guilty that others have to pick up the work. That's why I tried to go back before really I should have done. I don't think it's right how she was treating me though - she wasn't the one who gave up her holiday, it was my other colleague. I think it would have been nice to have felt welcomed back rather than feel like a pariah all day for something that really, isn't my fault. This woman won't go above and beyond the call of duty to cover, otherwise my other colleague wouldn't have had to come in. She'll only do her job and resents doing anything else outside.

Just looking for advice really on the doctors note situation. Spoke to my manager earlier and she is more sympathetic thankfully but they do need to know when I'm back. If I can get something his afternoon to stop the vomiting I should be able to handle the nausea at work I feel.

I don't know. I think morning sickness has been underrated. I've had Flu and Gastroenteritis and I felt more well than I do now. I would happy go on maternity leave now if it was an option (I'm only 11 weeks :-()

Woops didn't realise you were expecting, congratulations :beer:
I'm not a woman or will pretend to know how others minds work, could be spanned from your colleagues being 'jealous' if you have a new addition on the way :cool:

Any

Most women get better as they go along. My friends were only sick first three months and then they were fine. So lets hope you are one of those who get better:-))

As for the sick note - see what your manager wants. If you went in before your old one expired I wouldn't think so... (not sure it was, you said you went in earlier then you should though?)

As for the colleague... She just seems a grumpy woman in general, not everyone in your life will always like you (it is like that for everyone) and you need to grow thicker skin. Saying that, if she goes over the line again you can report it (but not sure how much good will that be). I doubt anyone is going to agree that she should make you coffee or get your lunch... She should not however make you feel guilty for someone else missing their holidays, if company didn't provide cover then it is their problem not yours. We are just humans and if we fall ill there is not much we can do about it. You had sick note, your doctor obviously thought you are ill enough to stay at home and it is not her place to comment on it at all.

nzmegs

Don't just put up with the sickness because there are things which can be done. You don't say how many weeks you are but there are anti nausea drugs which can be used after 10 weeks I think. I used them in both my pregnancies and it really helped. In the meantime you need to be really careful about your iron levels. In my case, I got anaemia because i couldn't keep food down. My iron levels were so low that I felt even worse. try to eat as well as you can and keep your fluid levels up.

other things to try are acupuncture, ginger tea or biscuits, sea sickness bands etc.

I suffered with the sickness for the whole nine months, but was lucky as i wasn't working. However looking after a toddler wasn't easy. Other people simply don't understand how incredibly awful it is and how it affects both your mood and your body. I felt very down because i couldn't function properley.

the only bright side was that the minute my babies were born I felt amazing!

Good luck. try to remember that it is all for a good reason and that other people are not as important as your child. it is up to your employers to sort out cover for your job if you are ill. if other people don't like how that is taken care of then they need to complain to management not to you. it isn't your fault your colleague missed her holiday.if this treatment continues, make a complaint as it could be seen as discrimination based on the fact you are pregnant.

Nickitree30

Can you phone your GP' s surgery and make a telephone appointment to speak to your doctor? That way you can pick up your sick note later when you are feeling better. You have my sympathies (DD is 6 months), why it's called MORNING sickness when I felt crap all day I'll never know. It does pass for most folk by about 12 weeks though. I used a Weleda product that I got from my local healthfood shop, and it worked brilliantly. Don't know if I can post the name re: not posting medical advice, so I would recommend that you speak to your health food store assistant. Happy for you to PM me if I can help with anything else;)

BodyElectric

I remember one Christmas I worked as a temp somewhere and one person there decided they didn't like me, they made a great play of giving everyone else a little Christmas present whilst pointedly passing me by. The array of embarrassed faces opening up their pound shop bath cubes whilst I got none still makes me laugh out loud today.

One day you will feel the same about the coffee for you but not YOU woman.

gratefulforhelp_2

Hugs, and if you returned to work then you can self certify again I think, so no immediate need to see GP. Longer term though, see GP and get it recorded you are suffering and why, just in case of probs in future.

Come on over to preggy thread for advice on how to cope with it. x

bluenoseam

Go speak to your GP and see if they can prescribe anti-sickness tablets. You may have stirred up feelings of resentment - someone's already said it, but maybe this person just flat out doesn't like you and blames you for someone missing their holiday, now i know it's up to the company to provide cover but ultimately they didn't and it doesn't matter how you dress it up, that's going to reflect on the person who caused the short handedness. You said you work at a desk, is there any way you can viably work from home in order to minimise the disruption or effects?

Ultimately it's 11 weeks into the pregnancy and while it might be seen as "nasty" of the colleague to make the comment ultimately it's opinion - and as the old (& crude, but true) statement goes, opinions are like a*seholes, everyone's got one and generally they stink!

dseventy

OP, I think there are 2 issues here 1) Sickness and 2) The office.

1) Firstly, does your employer know you are pregnant? They are obliged to do a risk asessment depending on what you do. Plus until they know you are pregnant their approach to sickness might be different.

2) As for the office, well how thick is your skin? If its getting to you you need to raise this at work. If you can rise above it, so be it.

D70