Worried!

brokeinlondon

I didn't say it was okay... but berating him now and telling him what he shouldn't have done is hardly helping is it?

People come on here to be supported and advised, not to be told off! You're not being constructive.

Atom

My apologies your right - OP i don't mean to come across as a mean git, hope you get your debts sorted and learn from it

Tats_2

Atom - I am learning from it.... every minute of the day. It's been a tough 3 years whilst my wife has been studying and yes we've made some stupid unnecessary spends and we are now paying for it.

As "brokeinlondon" said i came here for some support from people in the same place as me and on the whole i've received some good advice.

I intend to sort things out just need to do it the right way.

Tats_2

Hi, sorry to revive this thread. Wasn't sure whether to start a new topic or add to this one. So i'm adding to this one as it has my current situation history.

Anyway, on to the questions! Currently paying the minimum payments on my credit card debts and just getting by with cash input from my wife (we still haven't had that sit down to discuss things - but aiming for this weekend). Mortgage product runs out next year in January, will i be able to re-mortgage with the current debts that i have? I haven't defaulted on any payments at all (on mortgage or CC's)....We are currently with the Halifax and have been for 8 years or so...I believe also that we may be in negative equity? Doing a house price search on our post code values the house at around £190k... we still owe £193k on the mortgage!

If i go down the DMP route then again will i be able to remortgage? Reading on other threads you can get a mortgage whilst on a DMP but the mortgage rates will be quite high? We're currently paying something stupid like 6.5% = £1189 per month (for 30years!). Don't want to be in the same predicament.

So many sleepless nights that it's getting unbearable - things whizzing through my head in the early hours each day...

Thankful for replies... (only if constructive!)

WeBeBroke

I hate to say this but has your wife told you the full extent of her debts? I know you say they're 'manageable' but how do you know that?

I only say it because (and please forgive me if I've totally got the wrong end of the stick!) she seems very defensive and talking about money descends into a row. Classic hiding signs (I know, I've done it!)

As stated before, you will need to start pooling your resources and your debt. It's very easy to spiral into debt but at least you are doing something about it and once you start down the road you will sleep a lot better. However, you do need to lay all your cards on the table as to what total debt you BOTH have, then decide who pays what if that's the way you want to go.

For our family (me, OH and 2 children), all money goes into a family pot. I tend to manage the finances (OH happy with that as he's not great at basic accounting ).
I've got 3 card-holding accounts, one for bills, one for groceries and one to receive our wages into. Once we get paid, a standing order goes to the bills account and groceries account, we take out cash for the month to use as pocket money (no questions asked!), a lump sum goes to the credit card and then anything left is a cushion for anything unexpected/treat. If it's still there at the end of the month it goes on the CC debt.

The bills account also has contingency for annual bills and the unexpected which is great as nothing is really that unexpected (Christmas, Car insurance, Water Bills!) but at least there's money aside for it when it does happen!
The pocket money is great because it gives us both a bit of freedom and really makes you think about what you spend. For example, if I have a birthday or meal out coming up I know to cut back on little things such as a coffee out or a magazine to save up for the occasion. When it's gone it's gone!

The best of luck, it isn't easy when you've a young family but you need to sort it once and for all. Then you can sit back and enjoy being a daddy safe in the knowledge you're doing all you can to pay your debt. They're only young for such a short time and it would be a shame to waste that time worrying about debt.

WBBx


P.S if you're in negative equity I'm sorry to say you probably won't be able to remortgage. They do look at the Loan-to-value figure as a way of setting your interest rate - it usually needs to be around 80% or less to get a good deal.

Culex

Atom wrote: »

So its ok to rack up 25k of debts because you have 3 kids even though you cannot afford it ?

So what would you recommend - that he reduces his expenses by selling two of his children to the local glue works?

vasseur

I think £120 pcm for groceries is a little unrealistic for 5 people.

foxymum1977_2

polesalot wrote: »

I think £120 pcm for groceries is a little unrealistic for 5 people.

yes me too, ours is that per week now, there is 5 of us aswell.
Tats, i really hope you get things as sorted as you can x

Mothermercury30

Tats wrote: »

Hello, i'm new to the forum.

Just after a bit of advice and guidance.

My wife has been studying to be a nurse and qualified in November of last year and now has a job. However, during the last 3 years of her studying we've had to live on Credit Cards (to live and feed our 3 kids etc) and coupled with some stupid spending i have racked up a debt of approx £25k spread over differing cards. Some of these cards were 0% ones which will run out over the next few months.

I'm very worried now that i won't be able to make the minmum payments and although i also work i never seem to have enough money to get me through the month. My wife is giving me what she can from her wages each month to go towards paying some of the debt off but it never seems to happen.

I'm constantly having sleepless nights worrying about the debt and numerous arguments with my wife and it's not good for the kids either. We don't go out or anything and haven't had a family holiday for over 5 years!

Both my wife and I agree that we're both rubbish with money.. but i just don't know where to start. Do i go down a DMP route or try to sort something out ourselves!?

I would appreciate some help from thoses that have been in similar situations and what they have done to tackle it...

Thanks,

Tats

OH MY GOD- IT'S ME IN REVERSE!

I am the bloke, and my wife supported me through nurse training, and we were bringing up three children. One more arrived in my third year (And he was planned!) and we got married in my first year. Debt run up? £22000!!! It must be a nurse thing.

I'm glad you're on here. Don't panic- I can show you what I've been doing over the past few months- and it feels good to be getting on top of it, believe me. Would it help to PM me? if so, I'll get right back to you.:beer:

Mothermercury30

Atom wrote: »

Tats im not getting a dig at you or anything but you see this all the time - too many people try to live a lifestyle they cannot afford and then when they have racked up enough debts they can no longer afford or cope with they start regretting it, get stressed end up with depression and so on, im relatively new here but iv read numerous people doing the same thing, why can't people control themselves instead of living for the moment ?

Atom- this is a support site- that isn't support, OK? If you can answer your question, then maybe you're on to something. Everyone's circumstances are different. The second this site starts judging people's spending, before offering advice and support, is the day nobody will be brave enough to contribute.