Paying 'keep' HELP!!!

lazer

julie03 wrote: »

so you had no council tax no gas no phone and no internet and no tv licence

I live in Northern Ireland - so no council tax.
I forgot about the phone and internet - however it was £11 for the phone, and £7 for the internet. - so that was £18 a month for both, plus about £5 PAYG for my mobile as I never used it due to having the house phone
When I moved into the house I never had the Phone or internet, they are not essential costs, I had them because I could afford them and they were cheap. I am now paying £26 a month for the phone and internent in my parents house, plus all the call charges, which are often high as my dad uses the phone a lot during the day.
My mobile contract is now also higher at £20 a month - as I now use it to make calls as parents are often on the house phone (which is fine - it is their house), and also for privacy reasons - as I said the house is small - so I don't really want my parents hearing every word of calls to my friends and boyfriend.

So even with the extra £18 (or £30 if you include the TV Licence - which I only had for part of the time - as never used it, so cancelled it and watched on demand TV instead) - the bills were still under £500 a month.

I would not resent paying them keep - in fact I would quite like too - but i would not like to pay £100 a week unless of course they were in financial difficulties and needed the money, I would happily pay double that. I have in the past paid some of the mortgage etc, when times were hard, and loaned them the money for renovations when we moved house etc.
My point was that the costs of living on your own are not as high as people like to think - they can be as cheap as you want them to be.
TV, phone, internet etc are not essential costs.
About 4 years ago I was living in a shared house - rent was £175, bills (Gas and electric) - was around £300 a quarter for the house - so thats £25 a month each- and apart from food - that is the only essential costs - so I was living away from home for £200 plus food.

babyfruitella

lazer wrote: »

IAbout 4 years ago I was living in a shared house - rent was £175, bills (Gas and electric) - was around £300 a quarter for the house - so thats £25 a month each- and apart from food - that is the only essential costs - so I was living away from home for £200 plus food.

What about water, tv licence, council tax? (I know you said not in Northern Ireland, but the majority of people in the UK DO pay council tax) They're all essential bills.

julie03

also the op lives in the london area so you cant really compare as the costs are really high

Doom_and_Gloom

I really can not believe the OP says that they *only* earn £1200 a month :mad:, if my partner worked 40 hours per week he wouldn't earnt that (about £100 less before tax, no idea if the £1200 she is saying is before or after tax though) and if he did earn that we would be very happy - note OP that would be 2 people living off that money, living independently, and being very happy.

As for the keep, yes it seems high but you live in London. Costs are high - I live in the SE and I understand how expencive things are.
Your mum needs help and you are being selfish. If I was earning what you were earning, living with my parents and they were having problems I would not hesitate in giving them £100/week in keep, I would probably offer more incase they needed more, and I am 21 so younger than you!

By the way to show costings I know my parents pay over £200 a month in CT (3 bedroom house, not sure how much over £200 but it is quite a bit), pay around £150/month gas and electricity and £50/month water - that is over £400 per month on it's own. There would then be their mortgage, TV licence, home phone, internet, sky, food etc. Their monthly out goings are quite a bit more than £1200 a month I know that much. I really don't understand how you could question your mother on how much her out goings are :mad:, that is unbelievable. I would never do that to my parents.

I have a friend in a studio flat in London who lives with her boyfriend and they pay more than £100 a week for just their rent, they then have all the other bills and food on top of that. I bet they spend more than £100/week each to live in that studio flat together, probably even more than £500/month each.

I really think you should go out and have a look at how much it costs to rent a place in your area, how much council tax is for your area etc maybe then, just maybe, you would realise what it is like in the real world.

By the way I have responded as if this is not a troll which it could be. I know however that there are people like this out there so I can believe it is real .

lazer

babyfruitella wrote: »

What about water, tv licence, council tax? (I know you said not in Northern Ireland, but the majority of people in the UK DO pay council tax) They're all essential bills.

A TV licence is not an essential bill - as a TV is not an essential

And we do actually pay rates in NI - except the landlord pays them and not the tenent.

Fuzzy_Duck

I had assumed you were probably earning about £600 a month in which case I was going to agree £400 was a bit much to ask. £1200 though? That's loads of spending money left over! I'm the same age as you and I earn £850 a month. My rent is £550 and after all my bills are taken off and I've put some away to save I usually have just over £200 spending money which includes any extras I need for food and any other unexpected costs. Thankfully I live with my boyfriend so these costs are split, but when he was out of work I had to pay for everything so there was never anything left. Life IS unfair sometimes but you just have to deal with it.

Anyway, I think your mum is being more than fair and living in London you'd be hard pushed to find somewhere cheaper than that, especially as all your living costs are included in that £400. It is her house and you are an adult, so if you don't like it the only thing you can do is move out unfortunately.

Just to add when I was living at home (and I was earning £600 a month then) my parents only took £50 off me a MONTH. It was ridiculous. Their reasoning was I didn't cost them much so they didn't want much money. It just made me spent stupid amounts of money as virtually all my wages was spending money. When I moved out I soon learnt that wasn't acceptable anymore and I had to live within my means. I still socialise- I just can't go out on every occasion- and if I want something I have to save up for it. With the help of this forum I've managed to save money here and there and that really helps.

Downunderdolphin

I think I have read enough replies to your world of problems! Please stop harping on about being ONLY 23! Most people your age are independent and standing on their own two feet. Try acting your age and not your shoe size! You are an adult for goodness sake. This friend of yours who is telling what bills should cost is obviously clueless. I used to live in a 3 bedroom detached home and gas alone was 80 pounds a month!

And YOU ONLY earn 1200 pounds a month, that is a lot for some people. I know some who earn a lot less than you and manage fine in a house share. Why should your mother have to put up with you and your attitude? not only that you are using her to save for yourself! I sure hope my daughter does not turn out like you. What a shameful person you are.

Footiemad_2

OMG!!!!!

I wouldn't normally comment but I have just been sat here with my mouth wide open and feel compelled to write something having only read part of this thread.

£1,200 I cant believe that you cannot find £400 out of that lot to give your mother. I lost my Mum 4 years ago and she was very precious and would give her right arm to have helped us all out. She was a single parent of 5 and was so unselfish. I used to pay £75 per month to her and that was 25 years ago and I kept paying that until I moved out.

That helped towards the bills, food etc. She did all of my washing and sometimes my ironing. That was nothing back then and two of my siblings were still at school and college and needed feeding and clothing. From the age of 14 I was earning a few pennies and started to buy my own toiletries etc. She still covered the cost of all my magazines. I didn't get any pocket money before that, so comics magazines I counted as that.

So many people your age are just starting out and managing to keep a roof over their heads on far less than you earn.

Please re think what you are saying and how you are treating your Mum, you only have one and when she is not there you will miss her. I know not everyone has a special relationship with their parents but I am sure they show far more respect. I am sure your Mum would rather not have to ask for money, but she must need the money and the help. Where else can she turn to.

You will have £800 left to do what you want with. So do as she asks.

The proceeds from the house will be yours and your siblings when she is not there!!!!! It may be all she has left to give you.

Everyone's situation is different and your friends opinions on your Mum's finances donot and should not count for anything.
Good luck and I hope you come to the right and decent decision.

mayfair1985

OP -

I am almost the same age as you, and im on the same wage. Here is what I pay, in London, to live.

£700.00 Rent - 1 Bed flat
£130.00 Council Tax
£30.00 Gas
£30.00 Electric (Overpay in summer, use it up in winter)
£25.00 Phone (mobile)
£16.00 Landline & Internet
£36.00 Water
£12.00 TV Liscence

Around £20.00 a week transport and around £30.00 a week food.

And that's that. I don't get to go out and spend loads on clothes and going out. I'm currently studying too, paying for that out of my wages. Unfortunatley that's life.

If you decide not to move into your friends house do you think you could give her my e mail? Only i'd be in there in a shot, especially if it's a nice area! (possibly the reason my rent is quite high, i like to feel safe in bed at night!)

In all honesty, I can only echo what everyone else has said, grow up. If my mum rang me tomorrow and said she needed help to pay her mortgage i'd give her every last penny out of my pocket. You are a spiteful, ungreatful, immature little !!!!! who is no better than a fraudulant benefit claimant. You're going to fail in life it's a simple as that. The world owes you nothing and the sooner that you realise that the better.

Pollycat

lazer wrote: »

I also believe the OP is a troll but would like to add the following comments

1) She is a Selfish madam, her mum needs her help to maintain the payments on the house - she should of course be helping out without complaing,
Although I can partly see her point about contributing more than her brother - maybe he is a lazy so and so who hasn't even bothered to look for a full time job, so i would be annoyed about subsidising him too, however her payments are still on 1/3 of the household expenses

2) I think I might resent it if my mum asked me for £100 a week keep, I have recently moved home again, which they had been wanting me to do for years. They live in a small 3 bedroom ex-council property which is fully paid.
Before moving home I paid £300 rent for my one bedroom flat (which size wise was bigger than their house), Other bills I paid was £60 a month electric and £40 a year contents insurance plus food/washing up stuff etc which was about £120 a month, so under £500.
For that I had complete freedom, lived in a city, tidy up when I wanted etc. If I was paying £400 keep for living with my parents, I would expect the same freedom I have If I was living in shared house elsewhere.

This is what parnets often forget when saying that keep is less than rent and bills would be elsewhere - you don't get the freedom that goes with living elsewhere, however - its up to you if you want to live there - you could move out!

I don't currently pay keep, the parents actually won't let me, however I do pay the phone bill/internet and buy them extra good presents for birthdays, christmas's etc and treat them to meals out etc. I would have no problem with paying a reasonable amount for keep but think £100 a month is too much.
The house we now live in, my parents used to rent out for £80 a week for the whole hosue.

My parents are not well off, and are in recepit of pension credit.

I think the key thing here is that the OP's Mum has lost her job and is using a substantial portion of her savings to pay basic bills and has asked her daughter to help out.

Until OP's Mum lost her job (and for 4 months after that) she let this selfish litle madam continue to pay £50 per week.

We have no idea why her brother doesn't have a job so to speculate that he may be a lazy so-and-so is not relevant to the thread.

However, the OP does say (in her 2nd post) that she (whilst earning £1200 per month) pays £200 to her Mum.
Her brother (from his part-time job) earns £65 per week (a monthly equivalent of £282 pm) and pays currently £120 month.

So that means her brothers' CURRENT contribution is around 42% of his income but selfish little madam's contribution is just under 17%.

If Sweetheart (what a misnomer!) pays the £400 her Mum has asked her to that will still only be just over 33% of her total income.

Your point about the freedom enjoyed being in a flat on your own just doesn't hold water when the OP lives in London.
There is not a cat-in-hell's chance of you (or Sweetheart) finding a flat in London for £300 per month rent.

You've admitted that, even without having to pay council tax, your bills INCLUDING food was not far off £500 pm.
The OP will, I'm sure, be having her meals cooked, her washing and ironing done etc etc.

And the fact that your parents rented their house out for £80 per week is totally irrelevant.
Their house is in Northern Ireland - the house that the OP's Mum is trying to hold on to is in London.
And I bet the OP's Mum has a mortgage that would give your parents (with their fully paid for ex-council house) a heart attack.

If you moved your parents' house to London, do you really think the rent would be £80 per week?

No, of course not!

Below is a quote of yours from a later post:

I would not resent paying them keep - in fact I would quite like too - but i would not like to pay £100 a week unless of course they were in financial difficulties and needed the money, I would happily pay double that.

The whole point of the OP's Mum asking for a bigger contribution is that SHE IS IN FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES - and the OP is NOT happy to pay more than she already does.