Paying 'keep' HELP!!!

Fang_3

Morty_007 wrote: »

The thing is Fang, the situation ISN'T as you are stating it. And as far as I can work out your relative wasn't forced to stay home, they chose to...they could have taken their pay andmoved out...?

I didn't say it was - in fact I said quite the opposite.

Of course he could've moved out - with nowhere to go and nothing to pay for it with because it was all taken from him.

Morty_007 wrote: »

The OP's situation is completely different in that there IS no spare money. The OP isn't being asked to pay for her mothers Holidays, bingo and caravan. And if the roles were reversed and the OP's mother was living with her, then YES I do think the mother should be asked to contribute in the way her daughter is.

Your confusing two clearly separate thoughts - I was quite clear that the OP's alleged situation is different to the one I proposed, and the question I asked was whether any of the posters that claim that everyone should pay 1/3 or whatever (even if there is no need) then would they accept the same if the situation were reversed? I suspect not.

Morty_007 wrote: »

And finally, no, I don't think a parent should be helping their ADULT child by saving the excess in order to help them with a house deposit...unles they want to.

So you think a parent should profit from their adult children then? Clearly if you believe they should be making an excess and keeping it.;)

Shelldean

I haven't read the whole thread..... but I was paying £400 'rent' to my Mum when i was working and living at home. And that was back in 1990!!!!! And there was no mtg to pay just rent and all the other bills that go with house. AND we had an itemised phone bill and I was expected to mark and pay for all calls I'd made, although Mum paid the line rental!!!
You're onto a good deal with your Mum, so as others have said welcome to the real world

Shelldean

And if you REALLy think you can find somewhere cheaper than what your Mum is offering then MOVE!!
MY DD is hopefully off to Uni in Sept and she'll be lucky to get a room for that kind of money!!!

Caroline_a

I've just read all 11 pages of this, and how sad it is, this 'me, me, me' attitude. I expect the mother is racking her brains as to where she went wrong. Hopefully she (mum) will encourage both kids to get their own place and then move on with her own life in a house/flat that is big enough for just her.

OP, forget the masters. It won't do you any good. I'm sure that any employer worth their salt won't keep someone with your attitude for long (unless you're a traffic warden or an estate agent).

Enjoy your life in Lala land.

DCFC79

OP i really hope you come to a decision, whether its stay where you are with your mum and pay the £400 and save up for uni

OR

move out into your friends flat and have to save harder as you will have less money to save

Morty_007

Fang wrote: »

I didn't say it was - in fact I said quite the opposite.

Of course he could've moved out - with nowhere to go and nothing to pay for it with because it was all taken from him.

but if he wasn't living at home she wouldn't have been able to take it from him...you did actually say they were "effectively prevented from leaving home" they weren't really, they chose to stay

Your confusing two clearly separate thoughts - I was quite clear that the OP's alleged situation is different to the one I proposed, and the question I asked was whether any of the posters that claim that everyone should pay 1/3 or whatever (even if there is no need) then would they accept the same if the situation were reversed? I suspect not.

in that case I can't even get my head around the actual point you are trying to make...please don't try to explain it to me any further

So you think a parent should profit from their adult children then? Clearly if you believe they should be making an excess and keeping it.;)

Sorry you weren't very clear with what excesses you meant. I read that to be excesses from their income not excesses from the money their child gave them...I can't imagine many parents actually make a profit from their kids living with them! and even if its a couple of pounds here and there...the parents have brought them up for x years, spending x money on them...if you average it out i'm pretty certain there is NO profit to be had.;)

SailorSam

If you do move out, tell your Mum i'll be a lodger and give her £100 pw.
If that includes all bills and i suppose she's doing your washing and ironing, so she'll do mine want she.
Think i've got myself s bargain.

Fang_3

Morty_007 wrote: »

but if he wasn't living at home she wouldn't have been able to take it from him...you did actually say they were "effectively prevented from leaving home" they weren't really, they chose to stay

You're nearly there, but not quite. You're absolutely right that if he wasn't there then she wouldn't be able to take it from him, but at 14 or 15 whatever age he was, where was he to get the money from to leave home when his mother was taking it all from his employer and giving him a small amount back? Or are you one of these people that think people being domestically abused choose to stay too?

Morty_007 wrote: »

in that case I can't even get my head around the actual point you are trying to make...please don't try to explain it to me any further

I won't. I wouldn't want to overtax whatever's left.;)

Morty_007 wrote: »

Sorry you weren't very clear with what excesses you meant. I read that to be excesses from their income not excesses from the money their child gave them...I can't imagine many parents actually make a profit from their kids living with them! and even if its a couple of pounds here and there...the parents have brought them up for x years, spending x money on them...if you average it out i'm pretty certain there is NO profit to be had.;)

'Excess' not 'excesses'.;)

I wouldn't average it out - it's a parent's responsibility to provide for the life that they create - the child shouldn't then be required to keep their parents because of this. Perhaps you feel differently.

onlyroz

Sweetheart wrote: »

jANUARY20, I am asking for NOTHING!!!

You are asking for the moon on a stick.

onlyroz

Sweetheart wrote: »

Mother pays about £850 a month but she says its depleting her savings. BUT if we werent living there - shes have to pay the bills anyway! So she should just be glad we're there to help or she'd starve!

You are quite wrong. If you weren't living there, good old mum would get in a lodger and charge them the market rate, which would be more than £400 a month.