separation....do i have to sell house???

floydy

advice needed following separation pls

my husband and i have separated after 20yrs, our mortgage has been paid off, he is now pressuring me to sell the house so he can buy somewhere himself

i earn £16k pa so cannot get a mortgage for £90k on my wage (the house is worth prob £180k)

can he make me sell the house? our daughter is still at home, she is 14yrs old, our 18yr old is at uni, but will come for the summer

the roof is leaking, i have had a couple of quotes, he agreed to pay half in instalments, but now he is questioning if he needs to pay at all??

thanx for any advice

Svenena

Hi, I can't help I'm afraid, but it might be worth also posting on the families and relationships board, for advice on what usually happens to the house after a relationship breakdown when there are children living there - I've seen it discussed before, so someone will have the answer.

dimbo61

Go and see a solictor and have a look on the CSA website about how much your EX should be paying towards his daughter.
Does he have a works pension ? do you ? any other assets?
My EX got 70% of the equity in our family home but my child was younger

Gorgeous_George

The best thing is to try to make the relationship work. If you have both tried already, try again.

Only a Court can force a sale. Your husband is welcome to live in the house - after all, he owns half of it (or more or less). It seems reasonable that he should want his share. After all, he needs a home to live in and for his daughter to visit him.

The CSA would require him to pay up to 15% of his income to support his daughter (less if he shares custody). The system is heavily biased in favour of women so you may be ok. I don't think a Court would force you and your daughter out with nowhere else to go.

If you cannot resolve the separation amicably, solicitors will eat up a lot of money. £150+ per hour soon racks up.

GG

Thrugelmir

floydy wrote: »

my husband and i have separated after 20yrs, our mortgage has been paid off, he is now pressuring me to sell the house so he can buy somewhere himself

can he make me sell the house? our daughter is still at home, she is 14yrs old, our 18yr old is at uni, but will come for the summer

Consult a solicitor for advice.

At this point in time the welfare of your daughter would be the priority of the court. On the basis that she continues to live with you. Then an agreement of splitting the equity in the property once she leaves full time education would not be unreasonable, for example. Bearing in mind her age. In the meantime your husband can rent. So don't feel pressurised. Ask the solicitor about using a mediation service to help resolve the issues if there's difficulty in negotiating a mutually agreeable settlement.

Gorgeous_George

You could both rent and then there would be no need to use your daughter as a bargaining chip.

Of course, if your husband agrees to something else, that is fine. If he is forced by a Court to allow you to live in the family home, you should offer to pay rent for his half of the house until it is sold (IMHO). He should pay you 15% of his income in line with CSA guidelines.

GG

floydy

thanks all for ur advice

i do appreciate his position, we have considered other options

ie releasing 1/2 equity of house for him to buy somewhere else (he could get a loan against the house but i would have to agree)
us selling and dividing the proceeds, but i dont want to yet
me increasing my hrs at work, but need to be able to rely on him to share care of our daughter

he does pay me 1/6 of his wage at the moment but says he cant afford to for much longer

we both have a works pension, but i have always worked ptime as i have done the majority of physical childcare, done all the schoolruns, appts, ferrying them to clubs, housework, shopping and cooking

our relationship is over, he now has another girlfriend but i would never have him back anyway, he has broken my heart

i will have a look at the other forums and will go to cab next week

thanx

Gorgeous_George

Hi

Good luck.

Broken hearts mend with time. Get to the gym and find yourself a fit fella (or lady ).

GG

SouthCoast

Advice from CAB:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_family/family/ending_a_marriage.htm

Valli

@ Floydy

ring around solicitors local to you and ask for a free initial half hour consultation.
You DON'T have to ask them all the same questions but here is what I would do.

1 WRITE DOWN your questions
2 Go to solicitor armed with information - eg value of house - get valuations from three estate agents with a view to selling.
3ASK the solicitors their hourly rates. It's possible, but unlikeley, that you could get legal aid - even if you do you might have to pay back. You want a solicitor you are comfortable with but also not the dearest. Also ask about cost of phone calls, letters sent, letters read etc

other stuff you need to begin to do

have a realistic budget of what you need to live on - written down and itemised
have details (account number and balances) of all bank accounts whether jointly or singly held
have details of all other financial stuff - eg premium bond holdings, shares, debts - credit cards etc
have a relaistic valuation of other significant assets - eg car
save all bank statements etc as you'll need them for form E
know what hubby earns
know what you earn
know what pension arrnagements you BOTH have (other than state) - you (and he) will need valuations for them, too, as they form part of the pot.

Basically the settlement will be 50/50 (subject to weighting by the judge ie it might go 60/40 or even 30/70 but they start with the 'idea' of splitting the asset 50/50.)
so add all assets
house/car/pension/shares/premium bonds/possible inheritance from aged parents (honestly!)
subtracts all debts
that leaves the pot which is to be split

IF you can agree settlement amicably you'll save money. If it gets adversairial 9ie you argue) and it often does that will cost.

Your husband could have a charge on the property - ie you live there for now but he gets a percentage if the house is sold at a later date, eg when your youngest child leaves home/finishes education/reaches a pre-determined age 18 or 21 say

While ever your husband has an interest (this means a financial interest) in the property it is in his best interest to ensure the property is maintained.

IF hubby has gone contact council tax and request single person reduction

apols for typos - bound to be some HTH

Final pice of advice - DON'T cry in the solicitors. If you are NOT up to being strong don't go yet. You cannot afford to cry there at a rate of £20 a minute! Find a friend to weep on the shoulders of.
There is life after divorce;)

(A colleague of mine who's husband did the dirty stood to inherit a significant piece of land/house from her parents. But her hubby had 'messed about' while the kids were younger and though they made another go of it her parents disinherited her and left the property in their will to her children so he wouldn't get any. Whan the s** hit the fan this meant that the property could NOT be counted as part of her assets.)

dimbo61

You could also have a look on a few mortgage lenders websites and see how much they would lend you possible 3/4X income or drop into your own bank/building society and ask!
If you like your home and dont want to sell that will save both of you the costs of selling up and buy/rent somewhere cheaper so use that as a bargaining tool to reduce what you offer him.
Good Luck