Just had a phone call from the CSA

mpg

Hello all,


I have a 16 yr old son. Who moved in with me in 2006/07. When his mother and I split when he was 2 yrs old we came to an informal agreement that I would pay her £20 per week. On top of this I would help out with other expenses If he needed anything. This grew to buying school uniforms paying for school trips If he needed new trainers etc.

When he started senior school his relationship within his mothers household broke drown and he came to live with me. His mother started to pay me £20 per week. Which actually became £80 per month by direct debit. which she stopped paying over 12 months ago

Unfortunatly my son has got into smoking cannabis on a very regular basis his school work suffered, he started truanting and our relationship broke down.

He then went to stay at my parents.( we are all close ). His behaviour did improve at first but then slid down again. And as a result my parents could no longer cope, My son didnt want to come back with me so chose to go to his mothers in Dec 2010

So thats the background.

2 weeks ago I had a phone call from his mother and during the call she asked If I could pay her some money for child support. Obviously I said yes (even though she hadn't paid anything for over 12 months whilst he was living with myself or my parents)

I emailed my accountant to see what would be the most efficient way of paying her. ( She's a student and recently divorced moved in with her new bloke and had to hide her divorce settlement to entitle her to her benefits) And I now have my own business so may be able to claim tax relief etc.

Anyhow I received a call from the CSA this morning saying my ex has put in a claim for CS ( I still haven't heard from accountant at this point). I explained to the CSA that we had always been informal. That my EX hadn't paid anything for over a year. And he only moved back to her in Dec. I also explained that he will be leaving school in June just over 4 months away.

I have no problem paying CS for my son He has never ever gone without.

The bitter taste I now have is. The CSA have eluded to me paying 3x what her ex husband is paying. She now lives with her new bloke has had to hide or buy half of his house to get rid of the £60k divorce payout so she can continue to get benefits. This money I'm now being asked to pay will NOT be going towards my son but more to fund her wardrobe etc. Or her art course at college

Any advice

Thanks in advance

PreludeForTimeFeelers

mpg wrote: »

Hello all,


I have a 16 yr old son. Who moved in with me in 2006/07. When his mother and I split when he was 2 yrs old we came to an informal agreement that I would pay her £20 per week. On top of this I would help out with other expenses If he needed anything. This grew to buying school uniforms paying for school trips If he needed new trainers etc.

When he started senior school his relationship within his mothers household broke drown and he came to live with me. His mother started to pay me £20 per week. Which actually became £80 per month by direct debit. which she stopped paying over 12 months ago

Unfortunatly my son has got into smoking cannabis on a very regular basis his school work suffered, he started truanting and our relationship broke down.

He then went to stay at my parents.( we are all close ). His behaviour did improve at first but then slid down again. And as a result my parents could no longer cope, My son didnt want to come back with me so chose to go to his mothers in Dec 2010

So thats the background.

2 weeks ago I had a phone call from his mother and during the call she asked If I could pay her some money for child support. Obviously I said yes (even though she hadn't paid anything for over 12 months whilst he was living with myself or my parents)

I emailed my accountant to see what would be the most efficient way of paying her. ( She's a student and recently divorced moved in with her new bloke and had to hide her divorce settlement to entitle her to her benefits) And I now have my own business so may be able to claim tax relief etc.

Anyhow I received a call from the CSA this morning saying my ex has put in a claim for CS ( I still haven't heard from accountant at this point). I explained to the CSA that we had always been informal. That my EX hadn't paid anything for over a year. And he only moved back to her in Dec. I also explained that he will be leaving school in June just over 4 months away.

I have no problem paying CS for my son He has never ever gone without.

The bitter taste I now have is. The CSA have eluded to me paying 3x what her ex husband is paying. She now lives with her new bloke has had to hide or buy half of his house to get rid of the £60k divorce payout so she can continue to get benefits. This money I'm now being asked to pay will NOT be going towards my son but more to fund her wardrobe etc. Or her art course at college

Any advice

Thanks in advance

What has happened in the past doesn't really affect the case that is beginning now. You will be liable to pay as long as your son is living with her, and she is in receipt of child benefit for him.

Does he stay with you any nights? The assessment will be 15% of your net income, and it will be liable from today onwards.

mpg

Thanks. Thats pretty much what the guy from the CSA said. I know its early days but he did actually seem OK. He couldnt understand that as its been informal for 16 yrs ( 17 in Oct)why 4 months before he leaves school would she start a claim.

At the moment he doesn't stay at anytime with me. Although in the last 12 months he has stayed with me more than anyone else.

PreludeForTimeFeelers

mpg wrote: »

He couldnt understand that as its been informal for 16 yrs ( 17 in Oct)why 4 months before he leaves school would she start a claim.

At the moment he doesn't stay at anytime with me. Although in the last 12 months he has stayed with me more than anyone else.

Is your son definitely planning on leaving school at the end of the year? Be warned that the case may continue until September if his mam still receives Child Benefit...I think that this is in case the child changes their mind over summer and decides to start a college course at the end of compulsory education.

I would be way about making any payments to your ex between now and the calculation being performed - it seems that for that to be taken into account by the CSA the Parent with Care has to agree that it was a payment for maintenance, which seems like it allows them to turn around and say it was for something else, and you may have to pay twice. It's probably safer to wait for the assessment, and then make any payments due.

mpg wrote: »

Thanks. Thats pretty much what the guy from the CSA said. I know its early days but he did actually seem OK.

I think most of the staff taken on in the last 3 or 4 years are good, ones who have been there longer than that seem a bit harder to deal with...it's like any civil service, 'old-school' staff get stuck in their ways, and are more resistant to change. Also, the more compliant you are with them, the better they are, as you're making their lives easier too.

AnxiousMum

mpg wrote: »

She's a student and recently divorced moved in with her new bloke and had to hide her divorce settlement to entitle her to her benefits


The bitter taste I now have is. The CSA have eluded to me paying 3x what her ex husband is paying. She now lives with her new bloke has had to hide or buy half of his house to get rid of the £60k divorce payout so she can continue to get benefits. This money I'm now being asked to pay will NOT be going towards my son but more to fund her wardrobe etc. Or her art course at college

Any advice

Thanks in advance

Your son may surprise you and clean up his act, and actually want to remain in education ! So don't count on it being only for four months. Or, he may enroll in a training program after school as well - he has lots of options which mean that you may still be liable to his mother for child support.

So basically, his mother is one who is defrauding the benefits system - was happy to take £20 per week cash prior to the changes to the benefit system, but now knows that she is able to keep all child support without it being deducted for benefits purposes, and while she was doing that, you benefited over 16 years with lower amounts of child support as the rest would've gone to cover some of her benefits which she was paid being a lone parent?

You say she's currently living with a partner, but has had to 'hide' her £60K divorce settlement in order to claim benefits? If that is 100% true, I know where my first phone call would be to.

mpg

I think its a safe bet to say that he would leave school now if he could. Although his truanting has declined his grades haven't significantly improved.

We have been working with the CAF team and school. He is very intelligent and knows exactly what to say in order to either get a response or get you to stop asking questions. Our relationship broke down as he wanted to come and go as he pleased knowing I couldnt do anything about it. If we grounded him he would just skive school and come home at midnight etc.

He said he wanted to go to college and live away I agreed i would pay for that if its for the good of his future. I just dont want to pay for a new wardrobe for his mother.

I'll see what the accountant says is best monday. I'd rather put the money in a saving account for him

mpg

AnxiousMum wrote: »

Your son may surprise you and clean up his act, and actually want to remain in education ! So don't count on it being only for four months. Or, he may enroll in a training program after school as well - he has lots of options which mean that you may still be liable to his mother for child support.

So basically, his mother is one who is defrauding the benefits system - was happy to take £20 per week cash prior to the changes to the benefit system, but now knows that she is able to keep all child support without it being deducted for benefits purposes, and while she was doing that, you benefited over 16 years with lower amounts of child support as the rest would've gone to cover some of her benefits which she was paid being a lone parent?

You say she's currently living with a partner, but has had to 'hide' her £60K divorce settlement in order to claim benefits? If that is 100% true, I know where my first phone call would be to.

I hope he does suprise me. Thats the best outcome every parent wants their kids to do well.

Lower CS for 16 yrs yes maybe. But he stayed with me for 2 days a week and I provided school uniforms each year and anything else big he needed. She met her husband only a few months after we split. So she wasn't a single parent for long. He (son not her husband) also moved in with me when he was 11 and moved out just before his 16 birthday so whilst not an even split I have been in no way absent

When she got her divorce settlment ( her half of house sale) she knew her benefits would stop as she now had savings in excess of £16k??? So she either had to buy a flat or as she decided give her new boyfriend a nice big chunk and have a % of his house. This so she can continue at college/university doing an art degree of one sort or another. And claim some sort of benefits. Although I dont understand why she should get benefits in order to persue a hobby and not get a job she is 36 yrs old.

AnxiousMum

Best of luck MPG - sounds like you've done your best to be there for your son, just not let him walk all over you - well done One day he will look at you as an example and thank you for it - one day!

Chances are if she is used to you paying for 'extras', that the requests for this will continue. It's very easy for her to make you out as the bad guy - as in 'no, you can't do that, your dad won't help pay for it' being said to your son. So make sure that the correct business costs are taken into account for your CSA payments, but your son is old enough to know too that you would be paying full child support, and that any 'extras' he gets from you are just because you want to

PlayingHardball

mpg wrote: »

He said he wanted to go to college and live away I agreed i would pay for that if its for the good of his future. I just dont want to pay for a new wardrobe for his mother.

I'll see what the accountant says is best monday. I'd rather put the money in a saving account for him

- I hope by offering to pay for your son to 'live away' whilst going to college isn't just about being spitful to your ex. You sound decent to me and I doubt this is the case, but I just wanted to encourage you to look unbiasedly (is that a word?) at the whole picture and question whether your son is best at his mums for now, and whether you feel she is a good mum or not, and will give him a secure base. I have always done that and my focus has always been whats best for my daughter.

And in the meantime, try doing all you can to build bridges with your son, kids all need both parents for a healthy life. Remember, whatever his problems he is just still a kid. (my ex had a fall-out with my 16 year old daughter a year ago and won't speak to her! Who's the adult?)

Please let us know what the solicitor says. I'm really surprised your ex is going via the CSA as it may be really hard for her to achieve what she wants, being that you are self employed!

mpg

Little update.

My accountant advised me to set up a LTD company last year as my business is growing but I put it off. I am now in a position were I need to take an an Investor to expand so he has stressed again RE: LTD.

The setup will be 3 directors 3 shareholders 49% 49% and 2%.





However I've just had my payment schedule through and they want me to set up a direct debit / standing order from 01/05/2011-01/03/2012.

With the first payments taking the 03/04 payments into account.

However my son will be 17 this october he leaves school this June. IF he gets that far as he is truanting MOST of the time now.( gone back to his old ways/in with the wrong crowd)

How can they want me to set up a standing order for so long.

Again thanks

P.s. Please dont think I'm trying to get out of paying to support my son I'm not. I just dont like the idea of payimg for my ex to have a new wardrobe as the money I pay will NOT go to my son.

PreludeForTimeFeelers

mpg wrote: »

How can they want me to set up a standing order for so long.

Again thanks

P.s. Please dont think I'm trying to get out of paying to support my son I'm not. I just dont like the idea of payimg for my ex to have a new wardrobe as the money I pay will NOT go to my son.

The payment schedules that they issue are always for 12 months, however that doesn't mean that the case will still be continuing at that point, or that you will be paying that same amount in 12 months time, if there are any changes (such as your son leaving school and not going to college) then the case will change. If shared care/your income changes then you would be assessed as having to pay a different amount, which would lead to another 12 month collection schedule being issued.