Please help me - I'm absolutely desperate

Johan

Hi Jumanji,

Please go to Consumer Credit Counselling Service (CCCS)
0800 138 1111
https://www.cccs.co.uk , go there now!

You can print of a debt sheet, fill in your income and outgoings, they will make appointment to ring you, go trough the sheets with them and they will take it from there!

They are brilliant! You will find a permananent solution to temporary problem.
God bless you both, do not despair!

Regards
Johan

loobyloo1980

Jumanji wrote:

I know this seems really stupid/pathetic/idiotic, but would it make sense if I said that the sky and internet are the only things we have for "us" otherwise I think we would both feel we were working for absolutely nothing. Like I say, I know it seems stupid, but that's how it feels to us. *shrugs* if it comes down to it it will be something for us to look at.

I totally see where you are coming from, and I feel the same about my sky subscription, hence why I didn't suggest you cancel it. We don't go out clubbing or socialising or eating out due to 2 under 5's and the lack of babysitters!!! We don't drink at home and we don't smoke. We don't have hobbies or gym memberships or anything like that, so for us Sky is the only luxury we have and at £19.50 is far cheaper than having any of the previous mentioned lifestyles habits.

Besides, if you are going to be at home sick, you need something to keep you happy - you'll always have something to watch

Jumanji_2

Sorry that's £400 per week!! Apologies for my typing error.

loobyloo1980

Jumanji wrote:

Sorry that's £400 per week!! Apologies for my typing error.

Now that sounds a little more optimistic :-) That will make a difference at least. So with your £100 put away, that's £300 a month income plus whatever you get for sickness. Hope you get on ok with national debtline - pat yourself on the back for doing something about it though. It's the first and most important step. We are all in the same boat :-)

Jumanji_2

I'm not expecting anyone to understand this, because to be honest before I was diagnosed with it I thought it was just people attention seeking.

I have severe depression. In the last fortnight alone my doctor has doubled my daily dosage of antidepressants, and given me some extra strong ones for those moments when you just can't go on.

Basically the last two years of my life have completly turned my life upside down. I get panic attacks whenever I have to go to work. My doctor and I have managed to work out why this is, and what it's related to. They've put me in for counselling.

It's not that I'm lazy, and just "can't be bothered" to go to work, I just can't breath, shake, vomit and can't stop crying. I can't even get in the car to go to work!!

I don't like it, because I have always been someone who has worked for everything I have, from the age of 13 (even before then I worked for my mum).

Malestrom

Ok, I only have two things to add here. Firstly, if you don't own your home (you say rent so I guess not) and if you do lose your job, then bankruptcy is most likely the best option for you. On being self-employed the National Debtline's help pages say:

A business that is trading will normally be closed down. You can continue to be self-employed but some people find it difficult if it is the type of work which involves using credit of more than £500. This can include having time to settle bills e.g. allowing 30 days to pay.

So your partner should be ok, hopefully you will receive more information about that side of it tomorrow. You do know that you have nearly £40,000 of debt don't you? I gather your partners wage is £400 per week less tax, not per month as stated. You also say above that you dont want to feel as if you're working for nothing...i'm afraid you already are. Your monthly debt payments are more than your own net income and nearly as much as your partners...basically one of you is already working for nothing.

Now, secondly, you said this:

We have looked at getting him patches, but they cost £15 a week so it's actually cheaper for him to smoke!

I have to take issue with this. Yes, it is more expensive to give up smoking but only until you QUIT! Once you've quit, there is no expense. That has nothing to do with anything, it's just that my father died of smoking related cancer and I just hate seeing these pathetic justifications. I know you have enough on your plate so please forgive my rant.

Johan

Hi Jumanji,

It's good to see that you are pouring yourself out on this posting, there's nothing wrong with that, it is a way of dealing with it, I have an important question for you....have you told your partner of the situation you are in now at the moment?

If not, tell her or better still print out the last posting from yourself and leave somewhere were she will find it!

Meanwhile you will go for a walk, get some fresh air and get excited about that you have found a solution to the problem, and the both of you will tackle this problem head on, you will take 50% and your partner will take the other 50%. a problem shared?
Take care and god bless!

Regards
Johan

Malestrom

Jumanji IS the female part of the relationship but your comments still stand Johan

Becles

Jumanji wrote:

I'm not expecting anyone to understand this, because to be honest before I was diagnosed with it I thought it was just people attention seeking.

I've had my share of depression and panic attacks in the past.

Don't run yourself down all the time. You're still a strong person, as you are looking at a way to get rid of all the debts and 'solve' the depression/panic attacks. I admire your confidence in standing up, admitting you have problems and wanting to do something about it.

Take each day as it comes and try and do something positive each week. Even if it's just spring cleaning a room, it'll give you a buzz and help you focus on the good things in life. I promise it will get better with time, and I'm 'living proof' that it does!

Thinking of you.

Jumanji_2

Malestrom wrote:

Now, secondly, you said this:

We have looked at getting him patches, but they cost £15 a week so it's actually cheaper for him to smoke!

I have to take issue with this. Yes, it is more expensive to give up smoking but only until you QUIT! Once you've quit, there is no expense. That has nothing to do with anything, it's just that my father died of smoking related cancer and I just hate seeing these pathetic justifications. I know you have enough on your plate so please forgive my rant.

That rant is completely fine, I have said that on more then 1 (or 100) occasion(s). Basically he has promised me that he will quit as soon as he is driving instruction (as he won't be able to smoke in the car). I am going to hold him to this!!!

With reference to the above post, I'm going to point out the fact that I am in fact a woman. I know that the nickname doesn't suggest it, but I don't want anyone to know who I am so i chose the for the thing that came into my head that couldn't give my identity away to anyone who knows me.

And yes he does know. He's very supportive and eager to get us both out of this trouble.