Bash - Quote Database

Xanado

If you are easily offended, this is not the best site for you.

Heyyy guys!

Well a while ago I found this amazingly funny site, Bash.org. Its a database of quotes and conversations from IRC that people have put on there... Some of them are hilariously funny

Check out the Top 100-200 to get an idea of the kinda stuff. You have to be a bit of a geek [like me ] to get some of the jokes though.

Here are a few of my favs to start you off:

<acidwar> last night, tony and I decided to stop off on the way to the party to get some beer
<acidwar> we come out of the shop a few minutes later and there's a parking guy writing a ticket
<acidwar> tony goes up to him and asks him what the ticket's for, parking guy explains that the car is parked in a no standing zone
<acidwar> tony starts abusing him and tells him to cram it up his !!!, so the guy writes a ticket for abusing him
<Nuzzler> haha
<acidwar> so tony gets up him even more, and every time he says something the guy writes another ticket
<acidwar> 14 tickets later, the guy gives up and walks off
<dendyh0> ...
<acidwar> and we both !!!! ourselves laughing as we walk back to tony's car around the corner, leaving some poor !!!!!!! with 14 parking fines
<dendyh0> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<Nuzzler> ROFL!!

<Avalanche> i was at arbys last night eating, and this mini van pulls up. The soccer mom, daughter, and little brother hopped out and came in. The little kid was like 6-7. He said "mommy, I want a milkshake". She responded, "No, it will spoil your dinner". The little kid replied with, "YOU !!!!!!! !!!!, I WANT A GOD DAMN MILKSHAKE". He got the milkshake.
<Avalanche> I never laughed so hard in my life

<roman> skitzo, dude, when i was like 8 or something, i was on the floor .. on my back, trying to see my !!!!!!!.. and i was sucking air in with my !!!!!!!.. and farting it out.. when my brother walked in on me.. and i lost control of my stomach and a !!!!!!! turd popped out and landed on my chest

<DJ> I like riding my dog after rain. Rain makes her frisky, so she's faster.
<DJ> ...riding my dog around the block.
<DJ> ...on a bike
<Jinjo_Eagle> ...
<DJ> Because it's faster, and she can keep up easier when she's frisky
<DJ> That first line came out all wrong
<Jinjo_Eagle> You can't make that look better.
<Jinjo_Eagle> Yes, yes it did, and there is nothing you can do about it.
<DJ> I don't walk my dog, I have the leash around my wrist as I ride my bike around the block!
<MewMewtwo45> Hehehe
<DJ> And my dog gets hyper after it has rained!
<Jinjo_Eagle> Okay, sure.
<DJ>
* Jinjo_Eagle pats DJ on the back

:D:D

Dinsi

I wasn't offended, but just didn't find it funny. Some kids might. Thanks anyway.