your lowest ebb

RedTulip

Hi Kev.s, thank you for sharing your story.

Mine was when I left my ex going on 5 years ago. I came home to my parents from an apartment furnished with stuff bought with my money (well credit) I left everything, washing machine, bed, wardrobe, fridge, freezer - even the white leather sofa I was still paying for.

I was also made redundant at the same time I moved back so had no job, no money and nothing to show for all the debt I was in. I just cleaned out my clothes and belongings one day when he was at work, with the help of a very heavily built family member and never looked back.

The ex and I had a joint account too (which thankfully a week after I came home my name was removed from) that he froze meaning I couldn't get to what little money I had left. Then came the court threat from the local council for council tax which I thought my name had been removed from, but hadn't, I ended up paying in full just to get it sorted. Then having to prove countless times to the energy company that I had paid my share of the joint bill up until I left, with estate agent letters and the like.

Throw into all this the dmp I was on, which was arranged by my ex (although just in my name, long story) and I felt like I had nothing. i lost so much weight through stress and was nearly very seriously ill. I could not have got through that time without my wonderful family and friends.

With a bit of luck I got a job a few weeks later and 8 months after starting there met my current partner. Fast forward 2 years and we were told the company was closing and we were being made redundant. Luckily I had already found another job, but my OH ended up being out of work for about 7 months. By now we were living in our own place and times were hard but we managed and became closer and strong through the whole experience.

We have been together 3 years at the end of this month and are currently looking into buying a house. Things are finally back on track, we both have decent jobs with good career prospects. My dmp was paid on a f&f last summer and I am currently sorting my credit file out in preparation for our future together.

I know I took the brunt of things when i left my ex, and it's been a hard few years, but as bad as my whole experience was I wouldn't change anything for the world. If I hadn't have gone through those 18 months with my ex I would never have met my current partner.

In the wise words of my mum, "everything happens for a reason" and as Savage Garden (:p) say "I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned" for me, never have two phrases been so true, those words kept me sane at my lowest time and are my mantras through life.

kev.s

redtulip, it's true that things happen for a reason, although like you i was struggling to find a reason at the time i was sleepiing in a car!..lol, but as the saying goes "what does'nt kill you,only makes you stronger" and my outlook on life is alot more positive, things you found you may have dwelled on in the past are put into perspective when you cast your mind back to your lowest point.

ElmerFudd

Rock bottom for us was when we were both unemployed and unable for various reasons to get benefit and could just about afford the rent with almost nothing left for anything else. Worse time was when I couldn't even afford a 5p bag of noodles and was counting out the pennies at checkout being embarrased by the guy behind me giving me a penny so I could afford it! Soon after that we couldn't even afford that and I remember looking for money dropped in the street (still do that to this day) just to eat. I then found out about a place that gave food handouts. After about 8 months of living off nothing I eventually managed to get a job. It's soul destroying though. We've come so far. I hope we are never in that situation again.