NOt been this low before

BenS1

so today, after a good few months after I got a default from Orange my dad accidentally opened one of my letters from a DCA because our initials are very simular but looked the same to him because of his eyesight.

I don't know what to say, he sent me a text telling me exactly that. I just don't feel comfortable anymore, now that my dad knows (and persumably he would have told the rest of my family). Things would just be awkward, and he and my family don't know I've been redundant since November.

My girlfreind knows about the redundancy, since we're both living together and occasionally I do pop by to say hello to my dad. She doesn't know about the default through.

Just needed to put this out somewhere, while I gather my thoughts

thechippy

Hi mate,

Just have a chat with your dad, he will understand.
If you get any grief from the dca, post it up here and we'll help.

Don't worry........;)

sickasachip13

Try not to worry. Your dad will have been shocked and surprised and then worried. Once the dust settles a bit you need to sit down and level with him. We're all human and everybody makes mistakes. As for the redundancy its not your fault and you mustn't feel to blame or guilty. Your dad will love you whether you're employed or not.

[Deleted User]

Parents (and most other people) have a habbit of getting angry at first - it's just shock, and your dad's probably just worried about you.

Give him a short while to settle down, and then speak to him about everything. I'm sure he's rather know and be able to support you through this tough time!

things will get better

D9

BenS1

I've already tried talking to the dca, they won't listen when I tell them I've been redundant. All they are saying it's your fault, we want £50 a month.

I just have no idea what to do about this, my sister is at my dad's since it's half term and she has had her own problems at school. I did think about telling them about the redundancy at Christmas, and prehaps the default but it's rare for all of the family to get together and I didn't want to spoil the mood. I even went out of my way to buy them presents (thanks Martin for some deals), considering I didn't last time.

I need to speak to someone but I don't see a way out. My few friends I havn't spoken to for half a year, and they got their own llives to take care of. I tried Payplan, and used letters proposing a payment plan but they didn't reply even through I sent them registered (£4.85 a go). I can't even own up to my girlfriend right now, as her friend has invited herself over (that's a different matter) for this week and I been holding back tears.

MessyMare

When my mum went to put something in my room and saw a bank statement with my massive overdraft on it, she reacted in much the same way. I took some time by myself and forced myself to think about it and come up with an action plan, and just talked to her about it, and asked her advice. She wasn't angry, though she was disappointed (more by the fact that I hadn't spoken to her about it sooner)...your dad is your dad, I'm sure he just cares about you and will want to help, if only with words of advice.

snookey

Hey Ben dont let thease companies bully you. at the end of the day they have to accept what you can afford.

Try to speak with your dad regarding your job loss as Im pretty sure he will want to offer support . Having someone to speak with will help even if that person is your gp.

.

DebtfreeBY40_2

A problem shared is a problem halved. None of us know what your relationship with your Dad is like but if my Dad were here I know that he would be soooo disappointed in the position I have got myself into but ultimately he would be devestated if he couldn't help me, even if that was only with supportive words. I hope things get easier for you xx

Clarie_2

payplan was a great idea, well done for doing that. If they don't reply, just send them the money you suggested. and keep sending it. From what I've seen here from everyone else they give in in the end!

happyhaddock_2

Have you tried doing the debt remedy on the cccs website www.cccs.co.uk and see what advice they give, you can also ring them they are very helpful. Try not to worry (easier said than done I know) I'm sure you will get through this

2009timeforchange

Hi Ben

When I read your post it took me straight back to 2006 when I was at home crying having just come off the phone from one of my debt companies. The doorbell rang and I opened it to find my Dad who had popped round unannounced. He saw my face and could tell I had been crying. He asked what was up and I could no longer keep it in (had been in debt since 1999) I burst into tears and told him everything. My husband and I were in debt at around 35k.

He was shocked and sad that it had happened but after a long chat and a lot of coffee things started to seem much less daunting. He told me that many years ago him and my mum had had their own money troubles so he knew what we were going through.

I have always looked up to my mum and dad and still do but by opening up to them it did relieve so much pressure and weight off my shoulders. They were able to give advice on how to manage the debt and never once told my siblings or any other family member. My husband and I are now on a DMP and although we keep this quiet between friends and family I know from being on here that we are not alone and there are more people out there in this situation than you might have thought.

Please speak to your dad honestly. I hope he can offer a supportive attitude but remember even if he doesn't you have no reason to be ashamed.

x