Swimming Against the Tide?

moggins

On paper our finances look good, we have more than enough to cover our outgoings with a comfortable sum left over even though I'm a SAHM.

In reality we are fumbling for the pennies by the end of the month and I am tired of living like this. Thanks to this site I've found loads of ways to cut our outgoings and we've set up a monthly budget plan and given ourselves pocket money to spend, which should leave us with a clear £200 a month that could be used to build some savings.

Unfortunately no matter how much he verbally agrees with me my husband seems to be having a hard job altering his spending habits, he keeps taking small sums out of the bank which are mounting up rapidly. His excuses are that it was a bargain or it was only a couple of pounds. This morning he has taken the car round to the garage to hoover it out when he could have done it at home with the aid of the extension cable. "It's only £1.50".

Without getting into an argument about this how do I make him see that all the £1.50's and small amounts mounting up right, left and centre is what is making us poorer. I don't want to be a nag, I just want to have some money put aside for any emergencies, we don't have any savings at all.

nearlyrich

It is really hard when you have different spending habits and very frustrating when someone agrees with you and then does something different.

You need to sit down and have a chat about this, don't have a row about it just explain again that you want to build an emergency fund and maybe save for a holiday or some other treat which will benefit the whole family.

He has already agreed the budget and he knows it's a good idea so you are halfway there. Open a seperate account for the emergency fund savings and move it on payday. Is he really happy with the amount of spending money you have agreed or has he said yes to keep the peace ? Ask him to keep a note of his spending for a month or two, show him where you are making savings. Have you been realistic with the budget plan? If he wants to spend £1.50 on cleaning the car instead of getting the hoover out at home as long as it comes out of his allowance so what ?

Good luck with your plan.;)

Spendless

What about a seperate account that a fixed sum goes into each month that covers these 'incidentals'?

It's what we've done with my husband who was withdrawing cash from machines that charge.

Have you got any areas that are creating a problem - for me it was husband buying pre-packed sandwiches when he was away with work. I posted the problem on oldstyle.and got a load of ideas that i'd not thought of.

Me and husband don't have seperate money as i'm also a SAHM but putting so much into an extra account has helped.

Joyful25

I am in a very similar situation Moggins, so wanted to say you're not alone! Myself and partner have lived together for 8 months and every month we start it with the best intentions. I know he's not here to defend himself but I really really watch what comes and goes out my own and our joint bank accoubnts but Boyf can't resist a bargain, or just has to get the Finest which Tesco has to offer.

Neither of us are big spenders in the main, but I too am struggling to explain that every small purchase makes a difference without sounding like a nag.
Thankfully we've never rowed about it, but he has to be made ware that the issue doesn't go away.

moggins

Thanks for the advice and the support, it goes a long way to know that I am not alone, unfortunately opening a separate account is not an option, we've already tried this and been denied due to severe financial problems 5 years ago, all of these debts have now been paid but we're still left with the bad credit rating.

We do both have credit cards (separate ones) so we've agreed to pay our monthly allowances onto our credit cards. Mine is paid off every month in full, his is currently maxed out It's only £800 though, so nothing to worry about. He also gets extra to pay his petrol and the minimum payment for his card on top of this.

The pocket money is fairly generous (I think) at £100 a month, I know we've only just started this but I really need him to understand that if he has spent that, that he can't just dip into what is left in the bank instead

Spendless

So what about taking the cc away and dealing in cash only?

The £100 pocket money - what about giving this in cash also and splitting up into weekly amounts? Leaving the cheque book, debit card or whatever else he's using at home.

moggins

Spendless

It has come close a couple of times but I really don't want to dent the male ego by treating him like a kid

Spendless

moggins wrote:

Spendless

It has come close a couple of times but I really don't want to dent the male ego by treating him like a kid

So what about making him think it's all his idea (LOL). Try the spending diary and at the end of a month when you can see where all the extra £££ are going,could you word it so you're doing him a favour! i

moggins

Spending Diary? I'm obviously missing out on a very good idea here. Can you point me in the right direction please?

Spendless

A spending diary just means listing absolutely everything you spend every day, how much and what it's for. You do this for every purchase and at the end of a week/month you can see exactly where all the cash is going.

Spendless

moggins - i've tried twice to link you to an example and failed

(one day i'll learn how to use the PC!!).

So if you go to the sticky at the top 'help me my life sucks' page 9 post 7 by scouselass you'll see how all her bits and bobs added up.

good luck

xx