Can I have some advice please....

sjc80

Hi

I'll try and keep this brief. I split with my ex husband (we are not yet divorced) just over 3 years ago and I continued to live in our home with our 2 young children. I did not want to remain here and have spoken to him several times about selling. He now has a new partner and baby on the way and had told me that he no longer will be paying half the mortgage as well as child support and now will just pay child support.

I am on a low income and can't afford the mortgage on this house aswell as the fact I don't actually want to live here and would rather be closer to my family. I did look at us selling but can't afford the estate agents fees, the house is in negative equity and there is also a large unsecured loan attached to the mortgage. In addition to this another lender took out two 'charges' on the house in relation to a loan we each have. We also have large personal credit card debts.

I suggested voluntary repossession, called Northern Rock who were very helpful. My Ex has went ballistic, telling me I'm crazy etc. I just can't see any other way round about this. My main question is can I hand the keys back and or would NR refuse to take them as this isn't a joint decison? I have an appointment with a solicitor to start divorce proceedings, can they request my ex assists with VR or if not can I sign the debt over (he also has a mortgage on a flat). Or is BR my only option?

Hope this all makes sense, I'm so stressed just now. Any advice is very welcome and appreciate. Thanks

Tupperware_Queen

do you have other debts, or is it just the mortgage?? I'm presuming its in joint names?

I don't really have much advice, only that I am going through similar, except my ex is agreeing to the vol repo....although he's not actually helping me sort it out yet!!

sjc80

The mortgage is in joint names, the unsecured loan with mortgage company is joint. We both have personal credit card debt (mines about £6500, his much more) and we both have a personal loan in our own names. He also has another mortgage in his own name which we took out after the split. He doesn't want VR as he thinks the other creditors will force him bankrupt? I don't know if this is the case but without being mean or harsh I want to find the best solution for myself & the children.

sizzler

Hi there and welcome.

Ok lets see have you taken any advice from the debt charitys yet?

Tupperware_Queen

you need to get advice from CAB or similar, but what I did was go BR, we had lots of joint debt, secured loan and mortgage, plus a loan and CC which I (foolishly I know) put in my name cos he couldn't get credit (please don't remind me how stoopid that was). Basically, this has got rid of the loan and CC, and when the house gets repo'd, whether vol or forced ( I stopped paying mort & secured loan in Sept), the debt will fall to him. This means he will almost certainly have to go BR himself, but quite frankly tough luck, I didn't ask for this situation to happen, and as you say, I am learning to look out for myself.

sjc80

Before we split we had an arrangement with CCCS but the kind of fell to the wayside, I have been lucky in the sense that my creditors have kept the interest frozen and as I have kept up the reduced payments they have kept these agreements in place. I just feel I am fighting a losing battle and I'll never be clear of it. I also don't want to be financially linked with my ex as he is worse with money than me lol.

I am off work on hols next week so will call and see if I need an appointment for CAB. I think I know deep down BR is the best option, I'm just scared to get the ball rolling. Also would lose my car and don't know how I would get to work and the kids to childminder (both pre-schoolers so old fashioned bus/walking can be difficult at that time of the morning). My car is worth about £4500 so am I right that it would have to go?

HateBanks

Please try National Debtline, they are so helpful.
I have had such problems getting to see the right person at a CAB, I think if you live in a big town you may be ok, and I know some CAB's are great, but I have been to 2 different ones as we live in between areas, and have had to make 4 visits, with a week between appoints to get to finally see a financial advisor. I understand they are busy and volunteers, and am very grateful for any help, but would highly recommend calling National Debtline, and even Insolvency Service for general rules, they wont give advice though.
Good luck.

sjc80

Thanks I'll try and give them a wee call tomorrow - I better head off for another sleepless night!! Thanks for the replies, I really appreciate it. I'm trying to stay calm and keep clear of panic mode, though easier said than done. Wish I had dealt with all this when we first split.....hindsight is a great thing eh!