Acenden Mortgage- Help please

Ok since Dec 2009 I have not paid my mortgage by direct debit.. my partner was layed off work for 3 months and we got no help at all towards mortgage costs (we are 50% shared ownership) Both of us on weekly pay too it was so much easier when he did go back to work to pay by bank transfer on a weekly basis. Come June 2010 me and my partner seperated.. my payments slowed down but was still doing everything I could to pay a weekly amount.. then in October I lost my job so I went 2 months without work.. me and my partner got back together, then as per usual with the building trade had little work over xmas. We are still playing catch up, with both of us back at work now,

Anyway I paid Acenden £500 end of Jan after a letter I received I called them on the 24th Jan and said I would pay arrears at end of Jan.. Being a new job I was emergency taxed so could not pay the £700 I promised. (my mortgage is £330 pcm)

Today my OH said they tried to call him (which I told them to stop calling him months ago and gave them my number , yet they still continued to call OH to my frustration) so I called them. The call was pleasent to start with getting him to give me a figure I could pay on the 28th (my pay days now) and I just clarified so that will put me up to date till march.. which he put in the famous lines (if this isnt paid you MAY be liable for charges). Since Acenden took over capstone I have received just THREE letters... 1 telling me they were taking capstone over, 1 in october about arrears and 1 in january. Both my arrears letters said if amount not paid MAY be liable to charges, I had a conversation with them in october about my personal problems yet they did nothing to help just said amount needs to be paid.. my january conversation consisted of her asking personal questions about why I was out of work and why did I leave my job etc. Neither of these conversations did they tell me about any charges on my account.

It just so happened that i said to the customer service guy today "have I got any charges on my account?" for him to reel a whole loads of months off. Which with a £85 charge each time , £425.00 of what my "arrears" is now is actually charges. I feel sick, I have so much debt £425 to money grabbing who-hars is just not an option..
The customer service guy is forwarding it as a complaint as he said I should of received quarterly statements which hand on heart have not received, but surely its their word against mine. I feel so angry, if no charges I would only need to pay £184.51 to get my account into green and I can move forward with a monthly direct debit of it being paid.

Surely they cant just charge my account with out informing me they have done so??

Sorry for long post, any answers or advice greatly appreciated x

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