How do you help someone who's head is buried in the sand?

andy.m_2

I know that someone close to me is savagely in debt, and is continuing to live beyond their means by a fair margin.
However they seem to be completely oblivious to the severity of the situation.

How do you tastefully bring the subject to the fore and get them to get help without alienating them?

NouveauRiche

To be honest, I don't think you can. Each of us need to experience our own "lightbulb moment."

I was married for 20 years to a man who's head was completely in the sand! He had a very privileged childhood, and always had a huge chip on his shoulder. He felt "entitled" to the best of everything.

We owed money everywhere. He took out loans and 2nd mortgages without my knowledge. I never had a decent night's sleep all the time we were together.

We divorced over 15 years ago. He still has his head in the sand! Luckily he's now married to a lovely lady who has a good job. She keeps him in the the manner to which he has become accustomed!

I have absolutely no debt myself, other than a small mortgage.

We have grown up children, so we do see each other at family celebrations etc. But whenever I have seen him, I still have nightmares for a few nights. In these nightmares - I am still married to him, and I wake up in a cold sweat.

All you can do is watch and wait. Be there and give support if and when their lightbulb switches on!

StrongWork

Sometimes you need to tell it like it is tbh. If that means upsetting said individual, so be it. If they eventually take notice and start making positive moves, the ends certainly justify the means.

determined_new_ms

I think maybe you can gently let someone know you are there for them if they need your help, talk about this wonderful website/show them an interesting thread about someone turning their life around with debt and hope they will come on and look around. Its frightening facing up to having debt and ppl have to do it at their own pace, as frustrating as that may be for others around them. hth