Despair - debt/gambling/help!

bounce2011

Hi all, I've been reading on here for a few years and never thought I'd actually be in a situation where I would need to post or ask for advice - I've probably left it too long in all honesty.

I shall start from the beginning...I know its a lot but PLEASE READ.

I've been on a slow spiral of debt for the last 5 years - taking out credit where really it was unnecessary/spending beyond my means and making silly decisions. I split up with my ex-partner 2 years ago and have since been living in our mortgaged flat. It is a joint mortgage however since she moved out she decided to stop paying so I am having to pay it all myself. The flat has been on the market for 2 years now with only a handful of viewings. Due to having to pay her share of the mortgage and other expenses related to the flat that she was paying for I am now having to pick up the burden myself.

This very quickly led to me having more outgoings than coming in. In August 2010 I went to the CCCS who helped set me up on a debt management plan. Since August I have been on this plan.

My problem is that I still cannot stop my spending - always spending slightly more than I should do (down the the lifestyle I've become used to I suppose) and each month I was dipping in to my Mortgage overdraft - £100, £200 a month.

Having been told by the CCCS that even paying £900 a month to a debt management plan I would not be debt free until 2014 has definitely put me down in the dumps. I'm 24 and to think that I won't be debt free until I'm 28 was making me lose sleep.

I've always had a problem with gambling, it started off small but this has run in to £100's per month. This, coupled with a desire to try and win money to pay off more of my debt has very rapidly brought my finances into further turmoil. I'd even started taking money from my mortgage overdraft to gamble with. I inevitably started chasing losses.

This has led to where I am today:

-I have £15 left for food until I get paid (20th Feb).
-I have £100 left in my mortgage overdraft
-My mortgage is due out in 2 days time and I have only £100 in the mortgage account to pay it.
-I have missed this month's CCCS payment

I don't know what to do. I can't sleep. I know I need help re the gambling and obviously with finances but I don't know where to start. On a normal month, my DMP is fine and I can afford (just about) to live/pay bills. But I've already spent this month's DMP on gambling/chasing losses and I've got 3 days to come up with £500 to pay my mortgage!


I obviously regret everything, and have done so for some time. I have fallen in to the pattern of chasing losses, spending excessively on gambling and mis-managing my money by spending beyond my means. I'm losing sleep, thinking that bankruptcy/repossesion is a very real possibility which will lead to me losing my job earning £36k a year (this is not a maybe, my contract states I cannot go bankrupt).


I just don't know where to start even sorting this mess out. Writing this post has made me realised the gambling has to stop. I should have realised this before I was spending £1000's of pounds.

If I go to CCCS and tell them my situation they will laugh at me and say its my own fault and that they had tried to help with the DMP and I've gone and spent it all on gambling

If I tell the bank I can't pay this month's mortgage they will laugh at me

If I can just get out of this month OK and back on track then I know I can sort this out - and look to stop the gambling. I am losing sleep over this, I'm not eating and I know that if I was looking at someone else in this situation I'd seriously be worried about them.

I can't ask family for money - I have very poor ties with them and a lot has been going on recently with several family member's own lives. There is no one else I can turn to to borrow money and tbh I wouldn't want to owe another person anything.

HELP!

CommitedToChange

I doubt CCCS will laugh at you - please call them first thing in the morning as they may well be able to help. You also need to get help for the gambling - can you contact a support group, admitting on here that you have a problem is a great first step.

Good luck - I'm sure you can get through this with help, and you'll get lots here.

[Deleted User]

Seek professional help for your gambling: http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/

They will giv e you free, non-judgemental advice

GeorgeUK

Are you able to take a mortgage holiday or go interest only for a while? You really need to be able to pay your priority debts.

Check the gambling sites you use. Some of them may have 'comps' that you have 'earned' and may be able to withdraw. Once that is done, close the accounts. Put gamblock on your computer so that you can't use it to gamble any more. Check the link in my signature for a support thread here.

Have you looked at trying to reclaim any PPI - if it was missold?

It may be worth trying to get a lodger if you have a spare room.

Have all your creditors stopped adding interest and charges?

Turtle

I can't offer any constructive advice I'm afraid, however I totally agree with Committed To Change's comment above that no one will laugh at you. Admitting the problem is the first step to recovery. You seem to have realised now that further gambling to try and win back what you have lost is NOT going to help the situation. All the best and good luck in sorting this out.

bounce2011

Wow, thanks for the very prompt replies everyone - one of the reasons I've been reading this site for so long.

I will speak to my bank tommorow and look in to a mortgage holiday/interest only. I'm worried what CCCS will say about missing a whole months DMP payment Should I tell them about the gambling?

I will need to find some sort of professional help for the gambling. I'm mostly worried about not being able to pay any mortgage this month and also bankruptcy/repossesion how lenient are CCCS/banks? I just need one month (this month) and then I can be back on track Very frustrating. I'm up in 3 hours for work too lol.

Just my ex not paying the mortgage combined with getting down about this and gambling has resulted in where I am. I worked out January alone I spent £1600 on gambling It has stopped at this moment.


GeorgeUK - yes, my PPI was all ok for the one loan I took it out with. I have a 1 bed flat so can't get a lodger. I also can't rent it out as it costs more per month than an estate agent would rent it out for. Most have stopped interest/charges except MBNA who are being stubborn and charging me for letters £25 a pop.

GeorgeUK

Try to get some rest mate. Stressing about it isn't going to change what's going to happen.

Contact the bank first to see if they can give you a payment holiday. If they can, then you should be able to meet the payments next month without problem. If not then you may be able to pay it late when you get paid this month, make a partial payment on time and then pay off the remainder when you get paid the month after that. You need to know what the bank says before you can talk to CCCS about payments to creditors. Just do the math to see of you can make up the mortgage payment within 2 months or how long it may take you if you pay the creditors only £1.

You can contact CCCS tomorrow and come clean with them once you know what the situation is with the mortgage. You were depressed, gambled and are unable to meet the payments this month. You are taking steps to get professional help for the gambling and should be able to continue making payments ... whenever the mortgage payments are back on track. At worst CCCS will no longer be able to assist you with dealing with the creditors.

You need to get the priority debts sorted before dealing with anything else. You also need to take a nap - losing your job is not going to help this situation. It's not nice and yes, you'll probably feel like a heel when you make the calls. You know what the prioritise are though and you can set up your own DMP or try using Payplan once things are back on track.

This isn't going to defeat you so get some rest and get it sorted. One way or another you will need to put yourself before any creditors - they may not like late payments or even getting only £1 if that's what it comes to. Tough!

After work tomorrow i also suggest you pop over to the oldstyle board and ask for advice on how to make that £15 stretch out until payday. I've only popped over there a few times, but i've heard they can work wonders.

Get some rest and start afresh in the morning.

dancingfairy

I doubt you will loose your house over 1 missed payment but you do need to sort it out and get in touch with the bank. You may need to halve your CCCS payment next month to catch up on the mortgage arrears or the mortgage company may let you pay an extra 100 a month until you have paid the arrears, they may let you add a payment at the end of the mortgage, they may give you a holiday for a month or 2 - you really need to speak to them and come to some arrangement that you can keep to. Once you have sorted this then get back in touch with CCCS.
Good Luck
df

SouthCoast

Having problems with your mortgage payments?

http://mortgagehelp.direct.gov.uk/default.aspx

GeorgeUK

Hi Bounce.

Were you able to get this sorted out?
Any joy with the mortgage?