''What is it that makes someone good with money? blog discussion

cepheus

Rafter wrote: »

Some great stories here.

There has been some psycholigical research done that suggests about 20% of the population are 'wired' to be unable to manage their money. If offered £2000 on a credit card limit, they will go and spend it - because they can - and don't have the ability or care to worry that they will have to repay their money and that their future quality of life might be impacted.

I would be interested in seeing this, have you a source?

Perhaps, people should display the ability to manage money with a small credit limit before being granted a larger one, or else the company becomes liable.

GreyQueen

cepheus wrote: »

I would be interested in seeing this, have you a source?

Perhaps, people should display the ability to manage money with a small credit limit before being granted a larger one, or else the company becomes liable.

That would be a great idea for the populace but no so good for the banks. People like me, who rarely use a credit card and pay it off in full every month, are a PITA to business; they adore those who can only settle the minimum balance and thus end up paying for the original purchase several times over.

jud!th

I think it depends on:

what money means to you
what the things you can buy mean to you
what the power to buy things means to you

Things are supposed to be about money, sex and power. But sex isn't just about sex, and money isn't just about money.

So being 'good with money' shows that you're good at control, and that being good at control is important to you.

Being 'bad with money' shows that you don't see control as an essential characteristic, but that having the power to have/do what you want is so important to you that it can bypass truth.

If things are just things, and money is just money, then we're likely to be 'good with money', but I think it's more than that - if money and things represent control to us, then we're likely to be good with it. If money and things represent power to us, then we're likely to be less good with it.

In some circumstances being a control freak is more 'good' than being power-crazed. But I can see why a lot of people would rather be bad with money, feel they have some temporary power, and not want to be a control freak.

It's not as easy a choice as it looks, especially if you've been brought up by control freaks and you don't want to be one, or if you've been brought up by the power-crazed, and although you want to be a control-freak, you've got no model to follow! In which case you'll probably be 'bad with money'.

If, like me, you've been brought up by control freaks and you want to be one, you'll probably be good with money. Similarly, if you've been brought up by people who have been uncontrolled spenders in search of power, you might reject that totally and turn into a control freak yourself in order not to end up like them. And you'll be 'good with money' too.

In conclusion, I would suggest either being extremely good with money or extremely bad with it is a mental health issue it's nurture, not nature, but that doesn't mean it's easy to change.


phew

john_s_2

I consider myself good with money. But when I was in my early-twenties I used to just withdraw cash till the cashpoint stopped giving it to me. Then I'd have to wait till payday before I could start again. I used to be so overdrawn I'd still be overdrawn after getting paid!

My bank (Midlands) used to send me letters saying how upset they were that I was overdrawn. I used to reply telling them not to be silly, that's where their profits came from (bank charges). They eventually told me they couldn't carry on a 'banking relationship with me'. Fortunately I also had an account with a different bank. So that was Midlands' loss, LOL.

Then my girlfriend became pregnant so I thought I'd better sort it out (my overdraft I mean!). I cleared my overdraft after a few months and haven't been overdrawn since (twenty years on). Although I can't say the same for my wife ;-) (Same girlfriend :-)

I remember saying to my mum once that as long as I had enough money at the end of the day for a pint of beer and a pack of fags then everything was OK. She said that's what her dad used to say. But she went on to explain that he made sure he'd bought those first.

My daughters are similar to my wife and me. One of them is really careful. The other one is almost unilaterally keeping the retail sector above water (and has just been chucked off her A Level maths. Hmmm... ;-)

Ken68

Got a letter today from The House of Commons.
My MP says he will fully support the drive to educate our young people and that the subject is also taught in mathematic and citizenship classes and should be linked to community group work.
He will speak to his colleague Justin Tomlinson and also mentions his previous career in the financial services.
SO, that's one ex banker on our side.

wildthing01

i think the reason i am good with money is because i'm very competitive and get a big kick out of knowing i've spent less than i should have - i see it as a bit of a game - how much can i save? i get quite self-satisfied if i feel i've 'won' (e.g. got £50 worth of stuff for about £30 from boots this morning)!

on the other hand, i see my time as very important too and there are some things i am prepared to spend on as they save me time. for example, life really is too short to spend sunday morning in the cold washing my car - i'd rather pay a fiver to drive it through the car wash! but i feel that i can do this, because i save in other areas, so my money saving is motivational too - i know that if i save on the things that are less important to me, i can afford to spend on the things that are...

i think fear is a big part of it too - am terrified of ending up penniless/homeless etc - esp now i have kids, so that inspires me to be good with money!

globalds

I think GreyQueen is correct about the ability to delay the reward being important.

I read a book a while ago that argued just this case.
It stated that by about 4 years old a simple test could be conducted that involved presenting a child a biscuit or sweet and telling them if they waited a while until you returned to the room they could have double.

If a child could wait then they had increased there chances of success in life massively ....if not then it wasn't all over .....As this was something that could be learned and still had the same positive effect.

The effect is not just on money directly ,it is a frame of mind.

The book I read was called emotional intelligence.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Emotional-Intelligence-Matter-More-Than/dp/0747528306/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1295712562&sr=8-1

kittykitten

I totally agree with the people who say it is to do with temperament and attitude. Like most people on here seem to have done, when I read Martin's blog I started comparing myself and my brother. We've always been a close family, there's 2 and a half years between us, had a stable upbringing with parents who are relatively careful with money. Both relatively intelligent, have fairly decent jobs (granted I earn more than my brother but not by loads) but have quite different views on money.

Don't get me wrong, he's not really really bad with money, he's just not a moneysaver the way I am. He's the extrovert, has to have it now, type of person, where I was always the shy and quiet one, reserved, if I can't afford it now I save until I can.
Even as students we were different, both stayed local for uni but I lived at home all 3 years (indeed I'm still there, saving for a mortgage deposit, whereas he was out of here after his first year and has been on a piece of elastic ever since (moved out to a rented flat with a friend for the 3rd time recently).

katsu

This site helped transform my relationship with money in that it helped me lose my fear of money and debt. It taught me about how to behave in my financial dealings, demystified some issues and by having a forum for discussion, it helped me overcome my fears about dealing with finances. That avoidance plays into the hands of big institutions as you don't look for new deals constantly.

The other key factor was increasing my income! I think it is a lot easier to be good with money when you have enough to meet your needs. Although that leads us onto the whole needs vs wants and lifestyle issues. I guess the key has been not increasing my lifestyle in proportion with my income.

Also, my third factor is being in a relationship with someone who has similar aspirations and approach to money etc. Those posters on DFW who have OHs still incurring debt whilst they try to clear it...!

i think being an MFW is empowering and sensible, and I don't see any MFWs who are living in the dark eating food by candlelight :rotfl: The general standard of living is higher than on DFW, as people are not forced into the need to economise, so can decide to splash out here and there.

GreyQueen

Money is a sensitive subject, isn't it? Even in the abstract, just discussing the psychologies behind it, among strangers on MSE. To me, money is just a facilitator. It means that I can purchase the use of a home, services for warmth and light, essentials and luxuries (books and chocolate). It's not a control issue, or a value judgement which I place on other people; if age has taught me a little wisdom, it's particularly not to give friends unsought advice on anything. I enjoy the freedom of knowing that if my cooker or my washer is beyond repair, I can buy another one tomorrow. I like it that I can have a holiday, or not have a holiday, but that the deciding factor isn't cash. It wasn't always like that. I've had only a tenner in the whole wide world and a single pair of shoes which leaked in the rain.

Beyond being presentable, I care very little about what passing strangers think of me, and don't feel expensive possessions will make me a better person. Living thriftily has given me some savings despite a very low income, and those savings give me choices which I never used to have.

What other people do with their money, and with their time, is their own affair. But money is interesting in what is reveals about character, values and expectations. I've met people who are utterly charming and utterly reckless with their finances, to a degree where hunger and homelessness are a frequent threat. If you choose to live like that, and don't learn from your mistakes, you are effectively practising control-freakery. Why? Because you end up emotionally blackmailing your relatives and friends to bail you out of self-inflicted, avoidable disasters. Those friends may only have a little more than you because they were careful and controlled, because they didn't give in to most of their impulses, because they were boring, in other words. Besides, in a social-welfare type system such as we've enjoyed for several decades, the reckless are living in the happy understanding that other people will support them in their hour of need, no matter how much they've wasted of their own resources. This situation is fast becoming untenable and changes to welfare legislation mooted by the current Govt (and I'm no fan of theirs) may prove a rude awakening for some.