"so why don't you want children?"

Brighton_belle

KxMx wrote: »

Whoever said doing the right thing is easy?

Very very true KxMx. It's hard. Really hard.

summerday

To be honest, I think asking people why they haven't got children is a rude question full stop, and don't know why people insist on asking it. Don't get me wrong, no problem with people asking IF I have kids, to which you can simply reply yes or no.

We are trying for a baby, having suffered one miscarriage, and every time someone asks me WHY I haven't got kids, I really don't want to get into discussions about the miscarriage, it being stressful trying etc- it's my private business! And for people who haven't got them because they don't want them, they no doublt don't want to have to explain why not. I know for sure I have never asked anyone why they haven't got kids, it seems like far too personal a question for someone who isn't an extremely close friend, who no doubt would tell you if they wanted you to know anyway!

Rant over, sorry.

missbishi

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I don't understand the attitude of 'not wanting to rely on a male breadwinner' at all. If you can afford to look after your own child, why wouldn't you?

Talk about setting the feminist movement back to the dark ages!

Gazing_On_Sunsets

I'm 34 and getting married soon, and I've been subject to a fair bit of nudge-nudge from colleagues. To which I reply, "society needs child-free mad aunties to do baby sitting and general corruption".

The idea of being a family is appealing, but having my own kids? babies? Ugh, no. There are plenty of children need love and fostering appeals to me very much.

Luckily my mum has always said she's not bothered about grandkids, though I know my dad would secretly like it.

yorkie18

My husband and I have been married for nearly two years now. I swear not a week goes by when at least one person asks when we are having children.

We may well have children in the future, then again we might not. We are both still young, I don't see why it is of such interest to everyone around us?! We are trying to be sensible about it for starters. As it stands we live in a very small house and have little money. Why on Earth would we bring a child into the world we can't look after?

My usual response is "tomorrow". Keeps them quiet for a minute.

faithcecilia

Gazing_On_Sunsets wrote: »

"society needs child-free mad aunties to do baby sitting and general corruption".

The idea of being a family is appealing, but having my own kids? babies? Ugh, no.

This is sooooo me!!! My bro and sil are hoping to start a family, and I am quite looking forward to hopefully being an auntie. I also adore friends children, and especially the little boy I look after. I have the closest thing to a 'trial' of being a parent when I live in and look after this child a lot, but I love the fact that I have a day off, etc too.

Silvercar2

Gazing_On_Sunsets wrote: »

I'm 34 and getting married soon, and I've been subject to a fair bit of nudge-nudge from colleagues. To which I reply, "society needs child-free mad aunties to do baby sitting and general corruption".

The idea of being a family is appealing, but having my own kids? babies? Ugh, no. There are plenty of children need love and fostering appeals to me very much.

Luckily my mum has always said she's not bothered about grandkids, though I know my dad would secretly like it.

Its well worth considering fostering you get an extra 350 quid a week. But of course this is not a good reason. You can really help and provide love to a child that would not get much in a care home.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

Funnily enough I never wanted kids but i'm now pregnant with my 4th.

My younger brother & sister however really wanted kids but neither of them do.

kafkathecat

missbishi wrote: »

Talk about setting the feminist movement back to the dark ages!

I think feminism took a wrong turn there. Raising a child is more important than almost any other job. We should value what women do instead of trying to be like men. Anyway, working class women have always had to work.

missbishi

kafkathecat wrote: »

I think feminism took a wrong turn there. Raising a child is more important than almost any other job. We should value what women do instead of trying to be like men. Anyway, working class women have always had to work.

Just so you know, feminism isn't about "trying to be like men" (or being a lesbian, wearing dungarees, shaving your head and growing your leg hair), it's about equality.

Your comment that child rearing is more important than almost any other job is, quite frankly, insulting to those who cannot (or have MC), or do not wish to conceive. Would you say that to poor Lily Allen for example? Could you elaborate on which jobs are more important than child rearing?