Persuading partner to budget more

kabads

I'm a determined MFW, having remortgaged last year to save on an extoritionate mortgage with Leeds BS to one of First Direct's cheap mortgage (1.69%+Base rate). As a result, we are now bringing down our mortgage balance by £1k a month with 44 months left. That's the good news.

However, my partner is a little less involved in this process, despite how much I try and spell out the benefits. She does the shopping due to her working part time and doesn't want to work out a menu. Since May 2010, we've spent over £5k on groceries (without fuel) for a family of 4. I know that there are people out there who spend a lot more than this, but I know that we waste a lot.

I tried to take over this role a few months back, but due to me working full time and not having time to do it, my partner has happily started looking after the shopping again. Since then, our bills have rocketed again.

How can I go about trying to convince her the benefits of planning meals and buying to this menu (instead, she walks around the shop and thinks "oh, we need that" and puts it in the basket). She's not normally very organised and doesn't like being organised by other people (I've provided a meal list, but she hates knowing too far in advance what we are eating - she often thinks about it a day or two in advance).

Any advice on how to deal with this, in a manner that doesn't lead to splitting up .

newgirly

Hi kabads, I'm not sure that you can convince her to change the way she shops! How on board is she with becoming mortgage free? maybe she would be keener to work towards it if there was a treat or holiday at the end of it which would persuade her to join in more.
As for the cooking , do you work weekends, as maybe you could batch cook a few different dishes once a month and freeze them. There is a brilliant site by an mse'er called weezl which has a menu for 4 for a month for £100, that might be worth a look for some ideas.Good luck!

greent

I don't meal plan more than a day or so - I tried it and didn't like doing it - so it is possible to spend less than you do without meal planning We're a family of 6 and spend between £400-£450/ mth on grocery shopping - which includes newspapers, nappies and food/ hay/ wood chipings for the guinea pigs, takeaways and any snacks out(including say a McD's in town on a Sat lunchtime) I also only buy free range eggs, free range chicken, british bacon & ham and steak mince. Oh - and we have sirloin/ fillet steak on the menu usually once a week (always bought in reduced cabinet though...!) We don't skimp in any way and have a very full storecupboard and there are lots of brands that I won;t compromise on.

BUT we also don't waste anything - leftovers are eaten or frozen (I don't serve masses to plates - I'd rather people came back for seconds if they needed it) and the only ready made meals I buy are frozen mini toad in the holes for DD and teh occasional jar of pasta sauce (for DS1 & 3 - easy to do if they need a quick tea on a club night or if people are eating different things) Most other things are made from scratch (we still have things like frozen fish fingers ) I also don't do masses of flitting from shop to shop to find teh best price - it's not convenient with where I live, nor with carting small children around with me!

Waste could be an easy area to tackle to reduce costs (see lovefoodhatewaste website for ideas) and maybe downshift on some brands?

Many people on here don't have a partner as commited to being MF as they are - probably the majority of partnered MFWs if you read the diaries! It can be done - and be careful that you don;t push them the other way in case they 'rebel' and spend unnecessarily 'because they can'...

ernie-money

newgirly wrote: »

There is a brilliant site by an mse'er called weezl which has a menu for 4 for a month for £100, that might be worth a look for some ideas.

Is there an actual site, or just different threads please?

cha97michelle

I am so lucky as my hubbie just doesn't spend on anything other than diesel for the car and a naughty choc bar every now and then without checking with me first. I take charge for the food, and i am trying for £200 per month for 4 of us - 2 adults, two very hungry small boys, plus one cat.

I flit between meal planning and not, so another vote for it not being overly expensive.

I agree is there anything else you could persuade her the savings could go for - new clothes, holiday. If you say, oh we are throwing away the equivalent of a ..... per week, it might have more effect.

I think the key is to approach it softly and not put too much pressure on her to change completely in one go.

I find it really hard to cook cheap teas when it gets to tea time as the kids start arguing because they are tired and hungry so i either ignore it, or have to do something quicker.

We make it cheaper by eating stuff like home made soup or jacket potatoes, and i use my slow cooker a lot and bulk out with pulses where i can. Handful of lentils or a tin of chickpeas adds fibre and variety cheaply.

Planning leftovers by cooking too much helps too. Tonight i am going to make a spag bol sauce, but i will cook loads too much so there will be another 2 meals of chilli for all of us.

cha97michelle

ernie-money wrote: »

Is there an actual site, or just different threads please?

Weezls site is this one.

http://www.cheap-family-recipes.org.uk/index.html?opt=p3m1

wantabetterlife

Maybe you could try ordering your groceries online as it would be easier to stick to a budget.

Giraff

wantabetterlife wrote: »

Maybe you could try ordering your groceries online as it would be easier to stick to a budget.

We did this for a while and it can be good eg. your can type tesco value in and see the cheapest items, the only thing is you cant buy the reduced items in the store where we save most of our money.

dolly-bird

What about still leaving it to the OH, but setting a realistic budget for the shopping, and anything left over will be split between over payment pot and a treat for the family, say once a month.

This may give her an incentive to cut down on the shopping, if you all get a nice treat, and you will still save, albe-it not as much as you would will all of the cash, but its a compromise?

I presume it is paid for on by card? Is having a cash purse a step too far, does make you stick to it tho ! Thats what i do.

Good Luck

Dolly Bird

amancalledmartin

Good lukc, OP. You're not alone in this. In fact I'm going to have to have a very similar conversation with my OH later this weekend!

If it helps, there are loads of links on the site and forum to discount codes and vouchers which can also reduce the groceries bill. But it's very hard to change somebody's attitude to money unless you can make them see that by spending more on everyday things they're losing out on luxuries or treats.

Good luck with it!