change in number of nights - how to proceed?

clearingout

ex has told me he was now moved and will only be seeing the children every other weekend for the time being in his home in the town where we live until he manages to rent it out. That equates to one night per week, plus he technically has half of all school holidays (not something he has managed for the last 2, but I live in hope!).

He therefore needs to come down a level for CSA calcluations (if that makes sense). We have a court order in place on contact so I'm trying to cover my back re: the change in nights as somewhere down the line you can guarentee he decides to bring out the court order and lie through his teeth that this is the number of nights he has them (this new arrangement is less than is stated in the order)

I have sent him an e-mail with the new calculation outlined and my reasoning for it (that he is now having them less so there's a need to clarify). He has not responded. I will give him a few more days to kick off about it but assuming he doesn't, is it simply a letter to the CSA with a copy of the e-mail as 'evidence' of the change? Or just a letter to the CSA holding onto the e-mail for any future game playing?

thanks

Debicj

I was informed by the CSA that they can only act on a change of circumstances after it has happened. You can't say 'from today the child will only be going one night per week'. You have to say 'since that date, the child has only been going one night per week'.

They told me to keep a note of the exact days that the child stayed with NRP and also note the dates that 'should' have been but were missed. I had to do this for 3 months, then they would consider the change. They would ask the NRP to agree and if he wouldn't I don't know what would have happened as I can't see how it could be proved either way. (It didn't get this far in my case, because when NRP realised it would cost him more for less visits, he pressurised the child into maintaining the level of visits).

Bellio

Different when its the other way though.

clearingout

for every NRP who says a PWC with holds additional contact as it will affect maintenance payments to the PWC, there is a PWC who can say that the NRP only wants additional overnights so that he/she has less to pay. It works both ways.

Flyboy152

clearingout wrote: »

ex has told me he was now moved and will only be seeing the children every other weekend for the time being in his home in the town where we live until he manages to rent it out. That equates to one night per week, plus he technically has half of all school holidays (not something he has managed for the last 2, but I live in hope!).

He therefore needs to come down a level for CSA calcluations (if that makes sense). We have a court order in place on contact so I'm trying to cover my back re: the change in nights as somewhere down the line you can guarentee he decides to bring out the court order and lie through his teeth that this is the number of nights he has them (this new arrangement is less than is stated in the order)

I have sent him an e-mail with the new calculation outlined and my reasoning for it (that he is now having them less so there's a need to clarify). He has not responded. I will give him a few more days to kick off about it but assuming he doesn't, is it simply a letter to the CSA with a copy of the e-mail as 'evidence' of the change? Or just a letter to the CSA holding onto the e-mail for any future game playing?

thanks

Why was it necessary for your ex-partner to obtain a court order for contact?

ETA: What are the current contact arrangements?

PreludeForTimeFeelers

The CSA uses the day that you contact them as the notified date for any change in circumstances, so if the shared care band has changed then you should contact them as soon as possible.

Shared care is usually based on the 52 weeks before you notify them of the change, so try to keep a diary and note on the diary whenever the child/children stay with him. They would ask him, and you, to provide a list of dates.

What band is your shared care currently in?

clearingout

It was not necessary for my ex to obtain a court order for contact - he tried to get shared residency of our older children to stop me moving away from the area in which we then lived. He told a ton of lies about me being violent and abusive (then file for full residency?!) and dragged us through court for 12 months before finally realising it wasn't going to go his way. There is therefore a Consent Order in place which I have been trying to get him to sit down and discuss for the last 6 months as it doesn't work - we had a shared care arrangement of three small children but he felt it appropriate to go on holiday at 3 days notice and not arrange any childcare etc. etc. etc. It has been a nightmare!

As ex has now moved himself 250 miles away - we had both moved back to where I grew up to take advantage of cheaper house prices (both mortgage free here), family support for me (he alienated his family from me so I was entirely alone in trying to work and bring up 3 children, one of which is still really a baby as he left me in the early stages of pregnancy) and to try and put the past behind us so we could bring up the children on a shared care basis - he is having them every other weekend at the moment but I expect the novelty will wear off that and we'll be down to a couple of weeks in the summer if we're lucky within a couple of years (his dad did the same to him). His girlfriend (who he has gone back to, despite her obvious dislike of our children which includes smacking them, taking toys from them that come from my home and throwing away clothes that come from my home - you get the picture) isn't very keen on our children and expects at least 4 holidays a year so not sure he's going to fit it all in!

we are therefore now down 'officially' to about 85 nights per year when we were previously at 124 and prior to that about 160 (he reduced it when we moved, still not really sure why). Not sure I should have to explain all that, but there you go!