Registry office

cherry76

My friend's daughter wants a low key wedding & has booked a registry wedding at Maryleborne for 20. My friend is very disappointed, she has never been to a registry office wedding before and do not know what to expect. They will go to a nice restaurant afterwards to celebrate. There will be a photographer but the daughter will wear something simple and white, in that case do you have a wedding cake? My friend does not know anything and she does not have any say, she will them 5000 pounds as a gift. They have booked to stay for two days in a hotel and then go on honeymoon at a later date. They also plan to have a big party for all their friends in central London at a later date. They are not on a very tight budget except that the daughter does not like to be the centre of attention and gets stressed very easily. She wanted to invite some close friends instead of relatives as she said not to invite any and there will be no complaints. I told my firend no matter what they do, friends and relatives wil still critiicse them. Can anybody offer some advice what entails in a registry office wedding? Thanks

TamVilla80

Why is your friend disappointed if that's what her daughter wants? I have been to a couple of registry office weddings, and we are getting married in a registry office, and they are still a lovely service. Basically its not religious, but still does the job! There is still music but you dont have to have the dodgy singing, lol.

minerva_windsong

What TamVilla said - basically the registry office ceremony can be as elaborate or simple as your friend's daughter wants. They can have entrance and exit music, and music for signing the register, and readings if they want. I also think you get a choice of three types of vows ranging from the very basic (ie the legal words that you have to say to be married) to something a lot more flowery, and your outfit can be as dressy as you want - I've known brides at registry office weddings who wore nice dresses with cardigans, jeans, and full-on wedding dresses. The only stipulation is that the readings and music cannot have any religious elements.

Re: the cake, I don't think it's needed per se, but if your friend's daughter and her fiance want one then there's nothing stopping them having one, maybe as the dessert with the restaurant meal.

White_Sapphire

Everyone has their own idea of what a wedding 'should' be - my mum, for instance, would love it if I got married in the church they go to, with all the traditional trimmings. My H2B and I, however, have different ideas and will be having a Humanist ceremony with only the traditions that have meaning for us. We know that some people will question our decisions and whether it will be a 'proper wedding', but it's impossible to please everyone - if your friend's daughter had a big white wedding there would be people questioning whether she should have gone for something simpler and more intimate!

If your friend's daughter gets stressed being the centre of attention then it's absolutely right for her to have a very small celebration with the people who she is closest to. A civil ceremony, as previous posters have said, can still be very meaningful and still an 'event', and some registry offices are in absolutely beautiful buildings. Your friend has nothing to be concerned about, and should just enjoy being involved in her daughter's getting married to her soulmate - that's the important bit, after all!

cherry76

Well said, Maryleborne registry ofice where they have decided to get married is very nice. I have told my friend just be happy and let her daughter decides who she wants to invite.

shellsuit

Why is your friend dissappointed? Does she not want her daughter to be happy? Or is your friend worried about what her friends & family will think?

It's upto the bride and groom who they want to invite, it's not upto anyone else. And if anyone has a problem because they haven't had an invite, it's exactly that, their problem.

I got married in October in a registry office and we wouldn't have changed a thing! It was intimate, small and informal which is exactly what we wanted, and at the end of the day, so long as the couple become man and wife, does it really matter how and where they marry?

ellay864

It's the vows between bride and grrom that make a marraige, not pretty buildings or gardens! But a lot of registry offices are gorgeous, and if they aren't so pretty on the outside the wedding can still be beautiful. The legal declaration is the only bit that is prescriptive and that's set out. The vows may be the standard ones or the bride and groom can write their own. They can choose their own (non-religios) music and have readings. I've been to registry office wedings that are the bare minimum, short and simple, and others that were longer more personal ceremonies. It's entirely down to what they couple want.
As for the cake and anything else there's no reason for them to not have one...again it's their own choice. Anything other than the legal bit is purely a celebration of the vows they've taken and so they can do whatever they want. Unless the wedding ceremony and reception are in the same place, the cake would always be at the reception afterwards anyway (I've never seen a cake at the church!) so the fact it's a small registry office do makes no difference at all.
Please tell your friend to try not to let her disappointment show to her daughter. There's lots of posts from brides who've been hurt by their mum's attitude to their wedding, and it is her daughter's big day after all