Juggling, Organising, and Holding it All Together - 2011

Triggles

What a rubbish day. DH off for mate's wedding. DS3 ill and vomiting, DS2 all over the place. I'm exhausted as I was up most of last night dealing with DS3 being ill. Had a massive row with DH before he left for wedding and told him not to bother coming back. I just cannot handle living with someone who cannot be an adult and shoulder some of the responsibility. It's too difficult. You marry and expect to be sharing the load, not shouldering all of it whilst someone else trips along throwing teenage strops all the time and blames you whenever something goes wrong. It's just soul-destroying, it really is. Where do we go from here? Don't know. It seems so much worse to hit these lows just when it seemed like progress was being made, but not really sure what else to do. He just doesn't seem to realise (or care?) what he's doing to us.

House was a tip, kitchen a mess as DH suggested we wait until morning to do it, then didn't help clear it up this morning, so I got stuck with it whilst running back and forth monitoring the boys (DS2 can't be left unsupervised due to his SNs). Plus cleaning up the floor in the entry, hall and kitchen as the dog got ahold of some stuff and shredded it all over the floor while we were out this morning getting last minute stuff and picking up the suit for the wedding. Took ages to get the boys in bed - DS3 kept fussing for food, which I didn't want to give too much of to him because his stomach is still not handling food well - he's still been vomiting a little. Dog is going a bit mental tonight (I think it's fireworks from neighbour kids bothering him). At least now I can relax with some tea... until the laundry is done, then I need to figure out where to hang it. The laundry is so backed up - god knows how long it'll take me to catch up - can't have it hanging all over the house all the time! Swept the floors, but no point mopping tonight. I will look at doing that tomorrow sometime.

I have correspondence regarding debts that I need to coordinate and send but all the paperwork is upstairs and I don't want to wake up the boys (very light sleepers). I'll have to find some time tomorrow to work on it, maybe during DS3's nap. I need to get back to MBNA for the further paperwork from the SAR, as they didn't include a huge chunk of it. And get on to Tesco to send the SAR as well. Then I need to send an SAR to Halifax. Good grief, busy busy!

I did have one piece of good news yesterday. I won a new Nintendo DS in an online draw! So that's getting put aside for DS2's Christmas present, which will make Christmas money go further.

Triggles

Sigh. God, life is complicated, isn't it? Severe stomach flu for both boys and myself. I was so ill I was lightheaded and couldn't stand up for more than a few minutes at a time, so had to ring DH and let him know even though he was out of town. To his credit, he dropped everything and rushed home, missing the wedding he was supposed to be in, to help out. I'm glad, as I was so ill that I barely remember most of Saturday.

We've still got massive issues to work through, and as he promised to get counselling arranged after the wedding weekend, I'm holding him to that. He was dreadfully aggressive here and there on Sunday, and I finally had to speak to him about it. He admitted he wasn't cross with us, but with adult DD who lives nearby who wouldn't come help me with boys as she was afraid of catching it herself. A calm reminder that it would be in everyone's best interest for him to put that aside for us to discuss when I was not ill helped for the most part. He's still too quick to anger and swear in front of the boys, and I'm not going to let that slide. He's got this week to get counselling arranged immediately. We'll work out how to pay for it somehow as it's a priority. I refuse to accept constant ongoing excuses for bullying behaviour. I know it's related to the depression, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable. This stomach flu came at such a horrible time (not that there's ever really a good time) but I'll deal with it as best as can.

Paed appointment for today was rescheduled as paed had food poisoning. So it'll be next week instead, which is actually easier anyway. I suspect we're going to get a partial diagnosis, which is actually earlier than expected, and they may push to medicate DS2, which we're not comfortable with, as he is under 6 yrs and everything I've read indicates that it's not good practice for these meds under 6yrs (and no real trials as to long term usage either).

I still haven't gotten to the correspondence as I've been ill. I absolutely need to get it done, if nothing just a letter to them that I've been ill and will be responding shortly. Perhaps that's the best way, so they know we're not just ignoring them.

I've got to think about what to buy for DGS1 & DGS2 for Christmas this year, as well as DGS1's birthday which is in December. Very difficult. I think I may stick more with a couple nice books and a treat of some sort, as they both don't really need more clothing or more toys. It can be a bit of a minefield as obviously we have DS2 & DS3 that are young, in same age group as DGSs, but we don't necessarily buy them the same things, as 2 are our sons, and 2 are grandsons. I know that sounds odd, but there it is. We expect their parents will be buying their "bigger item presents" whereas we do that for our sons. I'm not sure exactly when we'll be seeing DS1, DIL, & DGS2 as we have to find out when they will be coming up here (they always do each year, although it's no longer right at Christmas but generally a week or two prior). It works well that way, and I'm sure DS1 & DIL would rather not be driving right at Christmas (especially a 3 hr drive) and would like to stay home and make their own Christmas traditions now. A huge family gathering is great is everyone is really close, but hardly fair on those that have to travel for it.

Have been buried under laundry, as the stuff that the boys threw up on obviously had to come first. blech!! Loads of sheets, towels, pajamas.... ick!

ETA: Oh, and I STILL haven't done the ironing!!! arggggghhhhh!!!

brizzledfw

Hi

Didn't want to read and run, but had to say that you seem to be doing by well in holding everything together. Am sure DH finds it hard too and I know that the anger is probably a sign of his not coping with all of it as well, although totally agree you need to set the boundaries around the aggression. It's not good for the boys or indeed for you.

Keep on going....will subscribe!

Brizzle

Triggles

It's been quite an up and down week here. DH has been slowly unravelling all week, most likely due to stress, lack of sleep, upset over last weekend's chaos, and illness (as he came down with the same stomach flu we had). In an effort to get a handle on things and give him the chance to regain some equilibrium, he's been staying at his sister's house, who lives just down the street from his mum. He's got family around him, but no stressful dealings with the boys or care needs or us arguing. I'm hoping it will give him the chance to calm down and regain his focus.

It's been a fairly productive day here today. I got 4 loads of laundry done (although thanks to the rain, it's hanging inside drying now), cleaned most of the kitchen, baked some banana bread, folded and put away a huge pile of clothing, did some ironing, picked up living room and hoovered it. Glad I didn't waste the effort mopping (although I did sweep), as we tracked in mud after school run due to horrendous rain!!!:rotfl:

Will probably get some sleep soon. Busy day. Managed to get some Wii time this evening with DS2, which was entertaining. :cool:

Triggles

On Sunday, DH rang and we arranged for me to pick him up. He's been home not quite 24 hours now, and it's been a bit of a struggle, to be honest. He still gets shouty at every little thing. You'd think that being away from the stresses for a few days (and believe me, this is just supposition as I've never gotten away for a few days!) would mellow him a bit. But I just don't know. Which is more stressful - dealing with everything myself and having no time to get things done? or having DH here and being angry and shouting a lot and still having to deal with most everything myself and having no time to get things done? I feel a bit like a traitor in saying this, but I am getting resentful of his behaviour. It makes everything a huge deal, out of proportion, and honestly I am just too tired to deal with an argument or shouting over every little thing. And how in the world can one manage to get into a shouting match with a FIVE year old, for heaven's sake?? the whole "yes - no - yes - no" type.... it's ridiculous! As an adult, you simply sidestep the whole thing - refuse to be drawn into an argument. Not. That. Difficult. (where's that "pulling my hair out" smiley?)

I'm trying to get him to actually GO TO BED in the evenings when he is tired. He insists he wants to stay up, but he sits in the chair and snoozes, snoring. First of all, you're not getting good sleep that way. Second, it's just silly. If you're tired, go to bed. Fairly common sense. And then in the morning, he has to practically be dragged out of bed. If I don't, then I end up doing all the morning stuff with the kids, while he's dragging about, shouting at anything that annoys him. He used to be an early riser, so this last year of this behaviour is just aggravating. He gets far more sleep than me, often taking naps during the day.

I know I know - this is all classic clinical depression - sleeping a lot, blowing things out of proportion, anger issues, etc etc. So tell the wretched GP who won't arrange counselling for him - we're still waiting for the phone counselling - he's on the "waiting list" for it - has been for months. I despair that he will ever get that at this rate. I think his job is in real jeopardy - and that will literally send him into a tailspin. I dread to think of it. It will literally turn everything upside down, and I simply don't think I can handle more paperwork right now - and the benefits stuff will be all over the place.

I am going to have to really watch the spending for groceries and petrol and such over the next couple months, as those are the monthly expenses that fluctuate the most. I don't have a clue how the income support or job seekers or whatever works, and sadly I think I'll be finding out shortly the way things are going.

He just went up to take a shower and I've just realised he went back to bed. :mad: DS2 has a paediatrician's appointment this morning. I am going to end up dragging both boys to the appointment and trying to keep them reined in whilst speaking to the paed, I imagine.

The temptation to just send him back to his mum's and tell him to stay there until he's more sorted out is really really overwhelming. I sometimes feel like I'm sacrificing my own mental health in an effort to help him retain his.

Triggles

We've received our Tesco statement - £1.50 in vouchers (and a 50p coupon I'll probably use out of the 6-8 they sent us). :j Yes, it's not much. And I most likely won't make a separate trip to Tesco to use it, as that's not horribly cost effective. But I'll watch the sales, and if something comes up with a decent price and I'm in the area, I'll use my vouchers and coupon. We've been saying that for months about the Iceland vouchers we've won over the past year - it's now up to £30. So those'll be used soon!

Things in our house are still chaotic and stormy. Gave DH an ultimatum - treat the children better and get help or get out permanently. I hate having to do it, but ultimately something had to be done. I initially told him to leave tomorrow, but as he's got a GP appointment tomorrow to discuss medication as well as pushing for counselling again. This is a different GP - I'm not happy with how the other GP has been handling things (DH specifically told her he didn't want sedatives, and she put him on a sedative and didn't tell him it was one - then she told him to take it in the morning, and he struggled with being groggy and irritable all day. Not very helpful! It took this long to convince DH that perhaps this GP was not helping him... :mad:) He was also given counselling information for a local charity by DS2's paediatrician who understood that DH needs counselling NOW, not months from now (the GP had him sign up for phone counselling over the summer, and he's STILL not moved up enough on the waiting list to get counselling!). Do these professionals not realise that if counselling is given immediately that some of these people with mental health problems may actually improve sooner if they have counselling sooner, rather than making them wait months and allowing them to spiral downwards for ages first??

Anyway... as he is in the process of getting help, I've insisted he needs to change how he deals with the children immediately. No excuses - if he can't cope with a particular behaviour he needs to ask me to step in and take over, not just blow up at the children. He cannot blame having a bad day or being stressed - we ALL have this happen, but it's not the children's fault and he needs to make an effort to remember this. Not expecting perfection (as none of us are perfect, eh?) but losing temper should be the exception not the norm, IMO. Tomorrow's big task (after DH's doctor appointment, as I AM going with him tomorrow!) is going to be putting together those checklists for DS2 as well as some basic problem solving reminders (I used them when DD was a teenager - they were actually very helpful).

Received partial diagnosis for DS2 today regarding his SNs. Nothing horribly surprising, although there are still a number of issues they are investigating still. According to the paed, it's very complex and will take time. That's fine - we've got time, as long as his needs are being met, a full diagnosis is really just words on paper. We're also considering a special school for when he gets to yr3. We've had some suggestions of what ones to look at, although they all will involve split school runs and driving DS2 to school. Dread making these types of decisions.

Have had to turn the heating on as well - verrrry cold upstairs - this is a pretty cold house! This is the time of year that laundry becomes much more difficult!! :rotfl: I need to sit down and organise the best timing for laundry loads and drying on racks.

We did take the boys to a new Harvester locally today, and we were quite disappointed. The meals were bland, colourless, and DS3's pasta was horrible - undercooked, some of it crusty and stuck together. He wouldn't eat it (and I don't blame him!!) and we sent it back, requesting a replacement meal of fish and chips instead, which he happily ate. And this is a boy that absolutely looooooves pasta - it's rare to see him turning up his nose at pasta - so you know it had to be bad!! The salad bar is all you can eat, but it's teeny with very little variety on it. All in all, just not impressed with it and don't plan on going back.

We're on the lookout for a new string of multicoloured lights (LED I suppose) for Christmas decorations. We're just watching and waiting for a good sale. Seems like I recall B&Q putting their lighting on sale mid-November last year. I will have to keep my eyes open! :cool:

Triggles

Still running the heater at night - just too cold in the boys' bedrooms to turn it off. Not much we can do about it - there's loft insulation, fleece lined curtains, vent covered in DS3's room, carpeting - it's just cold. We layer the boys up some, but DS2 is always moving and up a lot during the night, so he's not reliably under his blankets, and DS3 refuses to use blankets so he is snuggled up in warm pajamas under footed pajamas. At least then we can keep the thermostat reasonable.

We've started stocking up a bit for the holidays. We've tried the Smart Price stuff at Asda recently - the lager is 70p for a 4pk and is actually quite good, their Hawksridge cider is good too at £1.48 for 2L bottle. So we picked up some lager and put it in the back of the cupboard.

We've decided to wait a bit longer on getting a larger freezer and get by with what we have for now, but we are still looking at a condenser tumble dryer. A friend has one, and she loves it. No solid decision made yet, but obviously we will be saving up money just in case.

DH is still making a good effort, I can see that he is. Still some maddening days here and there, but he is trying harder. It does make everything much more tolerable, and I'm looking forward to his counselling starting in a couple weeks.

He is doing some DIY in the main hallway/entryway, sanding down the thick layers of paint on the staircase and trim. It's looking much better. We'd like to have it all back to original wood and stain and/or varnish it, but we still haven't made a firm decision on it. I think we will need to see how it all looks once the paint is taken off and go from there.

MIL is coming over to spend Christmas with us, which will be nice. She always is cooking meals for everyone else, so it'll be nice to let her relax a bit instead. She's staying over so she can have a drink or two and not worry about driving afterwards.

A bit annoyed about the school sending things home for what we call "parent homework." :mad: They send a paper saying this month's "math challenge" is to fill an empty smarties tube with something and count how many of that item go in, then label the tube, seal it, and bring it in to get a "prize" for doing the challenge. We don't generally buy smarties for the boys, and honestly do not like the school sending home this type of thing that rather bullies us into doing it, as it means DS2 will be asking for them over and over - he tends to get obsessed with things like that. They sent home pictures to buy, and they've got Children in Need tomorrow so £1 if they dress in something spotty, which of course we don't have. And additional money if they want to buy a cake that day. Thankfully DS2 doesn't seem too fussed over that one, but I know some parents have gone out and bought a shirt specifically for it. And then another donation of a jar filled up with sweets or something interesting to sell and wrapped up for the Christmas Fayre coming up. So we're expected to buy something new to put in this jar, and then get wrapping paper for it as well. I realise they are trying to do "interesting" things, but do they not realise that the last thing I need right now is all this fiddly extra stuff to do? Last month it was a huge list of "counting tasks" involving going places and doing things that we just didn't have the time for, as well as a separate scavenger hunt worksheet that basically wanted us to go out and about finding specific things for this hunt. Again, it was over the weekend we all had stomach flu and there was NO WAY I was going out and about looking for this stuff. I know I sound growly about it, but I simply detest "parent homework." :mad: As well as the extra costs involved with some of these things.

Found a gift for DS3 the other day on sale for £7.50, and a small stocking stuffer for DS2 for £2. So I will have to add that to my Christmas total, along with the £2.80 for the lager I put aside for the holidays.

Triggles

What a weekend!! :eek: DS2 ill with severe abdominal pain, spent part of the weekend in hospital on painkillers and running tests to find out what it was. He's home and better now, but they couldn't pin down specifically what it was. As long as he's okay and it doesn't come back, I'm okay with that at this point. He stayed home from school today as his stomach is still a bit iffy and he's extremely tired.

Before I even got home from hospital with DS2, DS3 got ill. He's had a high temperature for 2 days now, rash all over, sore throat, hungry but frustrated as it hurts to eat/swallow. Poor boy! He's napping right now. GP saying it's most likely a nasty virus which will just take time to work through his system, so it's loads of fluids, soft foods, and lots of rest.

Then DH came down with something as well. So I've had 3 straight nights of practically no sleep whatsoever. And what does DH do this afternoon? Goes up when DS3 is napping and goes to sleep!! :mad: I get that he's been ill, but honestly - he's had a full night's sleep for the last 3 nights!! And I've had hardly anything - I was literally up going from DS3 to DS2 and back over and over every night. His AD is a sedative, so he snored through all of it - although a couple times one of them was crying and he apparently heard it, as he rolled over and woke me up to tell me they were crying. :mad: So he's had plenty of sleep, I've had none, and I'm being unreasonable because HE went to take a nap, leaving me with cleaning up the kitchen and living room, as well as dealing with a 5yo that cannot be unsupervised at all. grrrrrrr I will be calm and speak to him about it tonight after the boys are in bed. I felt a bit "slapped in the face" by it all, if that makes sense. I'm exhausted, and still have to do laundry and ironing and such, but can't finish it all until later tonight. He's also not been very good with the boys either, shouting and grousing about, excusing his behaviour by saying "I'm tired" or "I've been ill" ... too bad. No excuse IMO. The boys are ill too. Parents are expected to make an effort to be patient.

Okay. and breathe... enough venting.

Have had to run the heater at night, no chance of avoiding it with sick boys and cold bedrooms. But it's generally off during the day. If I get cold, I put on a jumper, if still cold, make a coffee.:rotfl:

Will have to return to this. Not up to posting. Too tired, having typo problem.

Triggles

Goodness what a chaotic week! DS2 still a bit ill on Monday, so home from school. Back to normal schedule on Tuesday, although DH in for his medical appointment. Blasted GP told DH what he REALLY needed was CBT! :mad: We asked for that for him MONTHS ago, but GP said it wasn't available. So where does that leave DH? GP says nothing to that, and signs him off to return to work in a couple weeks. Still no counselling, no CBT, no nothing. :eek: Don't get me wrong - I'm happy for him to be going back to work, and honestly I think DH is as well, as it gives him a routine and he doesn't really enjoy "not working." But wouldn't you think they could organise counselling of some sort?? Not say "you need this, but you can't have it.." :mad: Arrrrgggghhhhhh!

DS2 ill again on Friday - did an impressive impression of the Exorcist movie with a huge amount of projectile vomiting. :eek: So he was home AGAIN on Friday. (yes, we'll probably have the attendance people ringing us soon!) But you can't send them into school when they're vomiting.... And then we find out he's been exposed not once, but numerous times to chicken pox in the last week or two... so we're waiting for that to hit. :rotfl:

DS3 managed to get ahold of my laptop and popped off a bunch of the keys on the keyboard. I've gotten most of them on fine, but one or two of them keep "popping" funny when they are used. Annoying, but hopefully they will pop fully back into place at some point. Boy, are keys a hard thing to put on straight!!

Okay, the grocery decisions are becoming interesting. We've gotten £5 of £20 vouchers for Tesco (4 of them for 4 consecutive weeks), we have our soon to be 15% discount at Sainsburys, and Asda's £5 off £40 shop and money off vouchers if your shop would be cheaper elsewhere. I think, though, all in all it will be cheapest to hit Tesco for sale items and things that are cheaper price or equal quality to Sainsburys, up to £20, then finish off the shop at Sainsburys, utilising their money off (price match) vouchers and discount. I'll go to Sains anyway each week as I prefer their nappies (better price, better quality than Tesco or Asda). So... that means grocery shopping is about to become complicated! :rotfl: Plus Aldi's is very near to Sains, so I have to keep an eye on their sales as well. And then we still have our £30 Iceland vouchers to use.

I'm going to have to pop into SpecSavers and get my glasses bent back into shape. DS3 managed to grab them and bend them out a bit. I'm going to have to eventually get a new prescription as I suspect these are not as good as they used to be for my eyes, however, I would like to wait until after Christmas if possible. I always buy the least expensive frames/lenses anyway £25 or £40 at the most. They all look fairly similar anyway. :cool:

Interesting thing about DS2's Children in Need tshirt that I stamped up. As it was card/scrapbooking ink, it was not permanent. We got a picture of him in the shirt, which is great, but once I washed the shirt, the ink disappeared and we now have a white tshirt again. :rotfl: Initially DS2 was rather unhappy about it, but when I explained that it meant that I could now stamp him up a fun Christmas tshirt instead (and then just wash it white later), he thought it was brilliant!! So we'll be choosing some stamps to make a festive shirt for him to wear once or twice (provided he can keep it relatively clean!). :cool:

Children are starting to hand out Christmas cards at school already! :eek: Good thing I bought Christmas cards last year in the sales, so we've got a good supply of them for DS2 this year. We'll start sitting down in the evening, having him sign his name to some each evening over the next week, and then he can bring them in the week afterwards. In the meantime, I need to get a class list, so we don't miss anyone or spell their name wrong.

We're going low-key this year for Christmas. DS2's present is a DS that I won online, so that was free. We're getting a couple secondhand games, which he'll love, plus a few accessories from poundland. DS3's present is a little shopping cart and a bunch of play food that he has been talking about, plus I'm looking at another small toy. They will both get a book and new pajamas. The stockings will be used this year, and the things in the stockings will be from Father Christmas - most likely a few small gifts, an orange, and a few sweets. Both DGSs are getting a book, pajamas, and a small amount of money to buy something they would like, and then DD, as well as DS1 & DIL, are all getting some cash, along with a small gift or two. We debated back and forth on gifts, but realised that DD was saving for something in particular, so really wanted cash, and DS1 & DIL are actually very difficult to buy for, so we thought this would allow them to choose something they like/need, plus they will still get something small from us as well. It's just easier to budget for, and everyone's happy. (also means less stress over shopping, which is always a plus!!) That just leaves MIL and my mum to organise for gifts, as DH & I always choose a DVD box set for ourselves as a joint gift each year. We like being able to sit back together and enjoy programmes together, so it's something we always agree on.

Christmas tree is up, almost completely decorated. We do it in stages, so DS2 gets used to it easier. And some of the decorations are up, although not all of them yet. A few small bits of DIY to finish up, but I think that's it until after Christmas.

I've been watching DH closely lately, and he is still making an effort. We've arranged counselling through a charity agency, so we pay on a sliding scale, according to what we can afford. I'm happy to budget money towards counselling for him, as he needs it so desperately. I think that he truly has difficulty coping when things get more stressful (whereas I tend to muck through and react afterwards :rotfl:), so I'm going to see if we can't look at changing his approach a bit when things get stressful - perhaps find something he can do for a short time to destress - even if it's just take a nice hot shower or take the dog for a walk or something. And he is still having extreme difficulty accepting the extent of DS2's SNs, which unfortunately he IS going to have to come to terms with soon. It hampers his ability to deal with him rationally and calmly, as he is utterly unrealistic in his expectations, especially when he is stressed. I sent a letter to our creditors asking any accounts that we are currently in discussion with regarding payments be put on hold for 60 days to allow him time to recuperate a bit - he is simply not well enough to be making financial decisions at this time. I am hoping this will give him the breathing room he needs to focus on helping himself a bit, rather than stressing over the finances.

But hey, despite all that, we are taking time to enjoy Christmas music!

Triggles

I love Christmas!!!! We are listening to Smooth Christmas radio - completely Christmas music - gotta love it!! And a nice cup of coffee.. :j

Let's see. What have I been up to lately?

We've been doing part of the shop at Sainsburys (for the sales and discount) and part of it at Tesco, with an occasional foray into Asda. Thankfully they're all close, and generally on the way to places we go regularly anyway. Bonuses with each place, really.

Sainsburys - obviously, DH's discount, as well as pretty decent basics products. We've now tried the basics coffee. Honestly, the first cup or two seemed quite strong, perhaps a bit more dark or rich than we're used to, but I'm happy with it now. And it's 47p for a 100g of instant coffee granules. Works for me!! The one we were buying was roughly 88p for 100g (store brand), so that's quite a bit cheaper, when you add up how much coffee we drink. :rotfl: We already buy the basics teabags at 27p for 80 teabags and are very happy with that as well.

Tesco - they've sent us vouchers for money off as well as coupons for money off when you spend a certain amount. So yesterday when I went to Tesco, I spent about £28. I had some money off vouchers, so they took that money off, then I used my £5 off a £20 shop, which took it down further, and then just being cheeky, I asked if I could still use my £2 off a £20 shop (don't ask, don't get, eh?) and they said yes!! So my £28 shop ended up being £18! I was well pleased!!

Asda - Okay, it's mostly sale items we get here. And some smart price stuff. DH likes their cider that comes in a 2L bottle for £1.49 - says it actually tastes pretty decent, so we've picked up a couple bottles for over the holidays. And we've picked up some lager (smart price at 70p for a 4pk) which is also very good. I can sometimes drink the lager with the Sains basics lemonade which is approximately 20p per 2L bottle. :cool:

We've gotten some more of our Christmas shopping done. Don't know if I mentioned it before, but we're just giving DS1/DIL and DD cash for Christmas, so they can choose something they like or use it to go out for a nice meal or something without it affecting their own budgets, as they both have limited funds. Not sure what to do about DD's boyfriend - will probably pick up a small gift for him, I suppose. Ah, it gets a bit iffy sometimes, doesn't it? We like him, he's lovely, but obviously he's her boyfriend, not technically her partner at this point - although likely to be in future. Ah, the complications of dating at Christmas. :rotfl:

The grandchildren are getting a book, some pajamas, and a fiver to choose something fun they'd like. We always buy them a book, and both DD & DIL have said their children need pajamas, and then we figured as they are primary school age, they would enjoy a small amount of money. We picked up pajamas for DS2, DS3, and the 2 DGSs the other day and have already purchased the books, so I'll have to add that to my total spent. All the children have plenty of toys, and they'll be getting so many presents, we felt it was silly to spend outrageous amounts of money on everyone. And we'd rather family didn't spend loads of money on us either, to be honest. Nobody is flush with money right now, so I'd rather they buy something for us from poundland (they have loads of interesting things - god knows we always find far too many things we like there! :rotfl:) and make sure they have enough to pay for their heating this winter instead!!

Now, the big decisions. What to make homemade this year and what to buy?? I love doing everything homemade when we can, but sometimes it's worth the expense, sometimes it is cheaper, and sometimes it's more affordable to simply buy an item rather than making it at home. So let's see where we are at:

Christmas cake - usually we make this at home, but this year, although I wanted to make a Christmas pudding, I'm realistic and figure I won't get to it. So we're going to buy one, as they are reasonably priced already made at the shops, especially when you figure out how much it costs for the ingredients.

Christmas cards - cards for DS2 to take to his friends at school will be storebought, as I bought them last year when they were on sale after Christmas. :cool: I've got to get busy and make my cards for family in the states - post deadline is Friday the 9th of December. :eek: So hopefully making other Christmas cards for family and friends, although I have some purchased (that we bought to support our local Riding for the Disabled chapter) that I will use as well.

Christmas cookies/biscuits - we'll be making some, but obviously I want to wait until closer to Christmas or we'll EAT them all! :rotfl: I already have most of the ingredients, so it's not a cost concern.

Sausage rolls - Hmmm... this is a tough one. I LIKE to make them, but it's time consuming and there's the whole "eat them within a certain time period" thing. (unless someone can provide options on how best to make this more viable) The frozen ones are quite cheap - but are they cheaper than buying the sausage meat and making them? That's probably going to be the swing factor for me. I'll have to price it when I next go to the supermarket and go from there.

I don't remember Christmas feeling this "rushed" when I was younger - I suppose as a child it takes forever for Christmas to get here and we don't really notice all the preparations our parents had to do. As an adult, I feel somewhat like we're racing to keep up with everything and still get the cleaning done (which is lagging a bit, I'll admit!).

DH would really like to get a particular game for the Wii for Christmas. We're negotiating. If we make a few cutbacks here and there, we can afford it. So we're going to see if that's feasible. He really gets into the savings stuff when there's a tangible goal at the end.