Juggling, Organising, and Holding it All Together - 2011

Triggles

Oh my, what a day! DS2 was home ill from school, with a viral rash and feeling poorly. I was ill, but had to go to school for his IEP review. DH took over for a few hours this morning before my meeting at school, so I could get some sleep and be rested for the meeting. But now I'm just exhausted.

DS2 and DS3 are in bed now, although DS2 is chattering away up in his room, as is usual. I'm planning on spending the evening resting, with my feet up, as I'm still feeling poorly.

We have been thrilled with the Maclaren Major. We've been able to get DS2 out walking more, without worrying about being stuck halfway there or home and having to carry him. Ironic that the best way to get him walking more is to get a pushchair, but that's the way it is. Otherwise, we couldn't risk taking him out walking in case we couldn't get him home or had to carry him.

The OT is really pleased with that. And she's mentioned that he has some hypermobility as well, so we're looking at things he can do to strengthen his shoulders, arms, and hands. They've mentioned a flexistick, so I need to look at that. And caring cutlery - wow, that is expensive!! £20 for a knife, fork, and spoon!!! But if he needs it, we'll get it. Thankfully, that's what DLA is for! Between the cutlery, the flexistick, accessories for the pushchair (raincover, suncover, seat covers as they don't come with it), and wobble cushion, it's going to be a pricey month. Well worth it if they help - but still pricey!

Using the pushchair for school runs and short trips to the local supermarket means that we won't have to fill the car with petrol quite so often - so definitely a moneysaver, which we're happy with as well!

We purchased some play (plastic) food and some moon dough this weekend. The play food and dishes can be used by both DS2 & DS3, and they really love it! We're hoping it will interest DS2 in trying some other foods. And the moon dough is to aid in fine motor skills, so he can work with the dough with his hands. It's pretty odd stuff, really, but he likes it. I think I'm going to make some homemade playdough as well, as that has a different consistency.

well, off to ebay to check prices on cutlery. ...

Triggles

The pushchair is still working well. We figure it is saving us tons in petrol alone, because we're able to walk for school run and to the local shops again, so we're not using the car very much at all now. It's been brilliant!! And DS2 is walking more as well, which is great!!

We've ordered the seat cover sets off ebay, just waiting for them to arrive. Soooooo much cheaper than buying them from the shops, and nicer as well, as we ordered the Toy Story pattern, as DS2 is obsessed with Toy Story!

We've got 3 kids with birthdays next month, plus one grandchild, and a few other various friends and family members! Busy month, July!! Expensive as well! We've already got some taken care of and put aside. Just a bit more to finish up, then we're planning on having one big family barbeque party to celebrate all the birthdays together, as the 3 children are all about 11 days apart in total - too close for separate parties IMO.
It's also less expensive that way, and easier to arrange!

Got to quick pop onto freebingohunter so I can put my name in for the Iceland draw....

Triggles

Okay.Big spend, but decided to get DS2 a puppy. One of the things recommended was to get him a pet, and we'd been thinking about a dog for awhile. It was important to choose one that was good with children, as well as only small to medium size. As both boys have eczema, we wanted a dog that doesn't shed much. So we ended up with a miniature schnauzer. DS2 has already named him and is so excited about it. Technically, the dog is a family pet, but it will benefit DS2. The puppy isn't coming home for 2 weeks, as it isn't old enough yet. That gives us time to organise food, bedding, insurance and such. We've decided also to forego a large family celebration for birthdays as well as any more pricey summer holiday expenses in order to afford the dog, as we felt that a dog was something we would have in our family for years whereas the other costs were just short term things. Also a dog is a bit commitment, and we wanted to make sure we had the finances to cover expenses before we got the dog. But we've made a few small sacrifices each month in terms of personal expenses, so that we could cover food, insurance, and miscellaneous.

Payments start today for one of our debts as well, so we've budgeted for that. I have a few budget items to sort through today, and spreadsheet to update.

Oh, and huge excitement!! A website I'm on regularly asked for existing members to volunteer to do a month's worth of Wii testing - and as part of it, you're given a brand new Wii console, controllers, and 4 games! You try out the games over a month, and then give written feedback. And then you get to keep it all!! So basically a free Wii and games, after you do the writeups! And we were chosen!!!! So our FREE WII is arriving sometime today or tomorrow!! Sooooooo excited!!!! (And DH is thrilled!!) We don't have any games consoles, so this is big news in our house! :j

Our veg garden is doing well. Tomato plant finally getting little tomatoes on it. Onions and carrots growing well. Peppers and cucumbers are stubborn, but not dying, so still hope. :rotfl: Our "pumpkin that turned out to be a marrow" is huge!! And DD gave us one of her pumpkin plants, so that's growing now too. Strawberries doing well - have a few more ripe that we need to pick today. We're quite pleased with how it's doing - I think next year we'll grow a bit more and choose a few different things as well.

I have enough old clothing to start cutting up squares for a quilt now. I will be starting on it as soon as I get some pinking shears, so the material doesn't fray. Looking forward to it!

Triggles

Hmmm... I am beginning to notice a pattern here in my house. I frantically wash the clothes, get them all dried and folded (yes, the ironing is still stacked up - must do tonight!), ready to put away.... and then the stacks are still sitting waiting to be put away 3 days later! It's an interesting dilemma.... DS2 & DS3 are too young to reliably put their clothing away. Besides, when they do it, it doesn't consist of laying the folded clothing neatly the drawer - it means rolling it up and scrunching it into the drawer. :rotfl: Not horribly helpful IMO. DH, on the other hand, can put the clothing away, but for some reason has difficulty figuring out which clothing goes to which boy (ok, they're fairly close in size, so I can see his point to an extent), and which drawers they go in. Which means if he puts it away, for the next week I'm playing either the "why is this here?" game or the "where are the blasted trousers?" game. So... this means clothing is generally put away by me, so I can guarantee that it's neatly put where it belongs. :cool: But... can't do it during naptime, as DS3 will wake up... can't do it during day, as DH is sleeping after working shiftwork... can't do it when it's just me and both boys, as DS3 will pull everything out as soon as I've put it away and DS2 wants to look at everything I've put away (effectively getting it out again! LOL). So it gets put on hold until I actually have free time to do it. sigh... Must sit down and plan this better. personally, thinking I need to make DH up his game and learn to take the time to LOOK for the proper place to put stuff. I suppose I could label the drawers for him.

Anyway... laundry almost finished washing. Need to do ironing tonight. (yes, I mentioned it previously - hoping that by reminding myself frequently, I'll actually DO it!! ) Finished going over the budget. Sorted through some paperwork that needed doing.

DH missed a hospital appointment (follow up) this week. I wasn't even aware of it - I think he may have gotten the letter in the post for the appointment and just put it in the drawer without mentioning it. So I didn't have it in my diary, and it was forgotten. He will have to reschedule it and tell me when that is. He's also going to get counselling through someone suggested through Relate for depression/anger management. I am hoping they will teach him ways to cope with frustration and anger, rather than just verbally exploding. It's rather frustrating that he couldn't get this type of assistance through the NHS. He went back to the GP and said he needed counselling, and she just said "all we can offer is the phone counselling"... which he tried already and was absolutely useless. It took them MONTHS to get it set up, the counsellor spent 10 minutes on the phone with him once a week, criticised him for not sitting down every time he was stressed out and writing out why (well, because being stressed out when watching 2 boys doesn't give you the luxury of putting them on pause to write it all out!)... and it was all busywork anyway. The counsellor didn't want to know what he thought or felt. He just told him he sounded better (even though he didn't), and released him from the counselling. DH was baffled over the whole thing, to be honest. They told him to go on a website online and discuss how he felt with others on the recommended site. So a bunch of depressed people discussing how depressed they are, without benefit of a professional stepping in at all. How helpful is that? Are they expecting him to take advice from others who are also clinically depressed?? Isn't that a bit dangerous?

Anyway, we will be paying for this counselling. But it's worth it if it can help. DH seems much more positive about this, so fingers crossed!

I want to do some major cleaning and decluttering, but can't get into a big project right now, as DS3 will be waking up any time now from his nap, and I don't want to just get started and have to stop.

Still studiously avoiding the ironing.... :rotfl:

Triggles

Eeewwwwww! Potato fell behind the bin in the kitchen unnoticed and got manky! That'll teach me not to pull the bins out more frequently and clean behind them. It was just a little thing, but oh my! the smell!

DS3 has just realised that inside the top edge of the open fireplace is REALLY SOOTY (reaching up into the fireplace opening as far as he can) and gets a HUUUUUGE reaction from everyone as he spreads the soot everywhere!! :eek:

House looks a bit like a cyclone hit it today. And of course, MIL comes over for coffee this afternoon!! Lovely woman - she would NEVER say anything, but I hate it when it's messy when she comes over. I often wonder if she thinks "god, doesn't she ever clean?" But she is such a wonderful person, she never says or does anything to imply negative thoughts about people. It's the guilt - MY parents would say something. :rotfl:

In my defense, I took DS2 to the school fete, which lasted a few hours, and DS3 was home with DH. So he was spreading toys all over the living room, and breakfast dishes were still on the table, as it was a bit chaotic this morning and I just didn't get them sorted. So had to do a fast run through the dining room and tidy up just as she was driving up so we could go in there for coffee while she was here.

It was supposed to rain today, so I didn't wash any laundry this morning before we left - and then it was sunny all afternoon and I missed perfect clothes-drying weather!! :mad:

God, I feel disorganised today! :rotfl:

Triggles

Hmmm...well, after spending half the night in the A&E with DS3, who was wheezing and coughing spectacularly, I'm exhausted. Not looking like we'll be doing anything exciting today. I'll feel lucky if I can just get things done like washing up and laundry!!

DS3 is sleeping, DS2 is cross (coming down with the same virus DS3 has, i think), DH is sleeping.... and my brain is toast. sigh

Letting DS2 watch television so I can rest a bit. Can't sleep, as god knows what he would get into!

I would like to point out that I was quite incensed by a few funny looks I got from people regarding DS2 in his Maclaren Major yesterday. Aside from putting a neon sign overhead that says "disabled", I really am bordering on shouting things at people who tut or stare rudely.:mad:

Triggles

Feeling stressed today. Bit depressed. I am sure some of it is lack of sleep, some of it is just having same discussions over issues with DH, and some of it is just the ongoing relentless stuff with the boys. DS2 doesn't have the ability to control some of his impulses, so I am constantly having to remind him not to touch things, move him away from things he's not supposed to touch, or take things away from him that he's managed to get ahold of that he shouldn't.

The counsellor that DH is going to be seeing is on holiday for 2 weeks, then he will start meeting with him. Honestly, I can't wait... anything that may have a positive change IMO is worth it. I'm just tired of stress, and feeling like I'm playing policeman to DH sometimes, which I hate, but when he's stressed and depressed, I can't just sit back and let him rant in front of the boys, so I need to step in and say something, which usually ends up in an argument. I'm hoping this type of behaviour is something that the counsellor and DH can address, as it is so upsetting and aggravating, that it is slowly tearing us apart.

DS3 was quite ill last night, and we ended up taking him in to A&E as he was wheezing and coughing dreadfully. So we spent most of the night in the A&E, got home at 5am, by which time DS2 was up (DD came over and stayed so DS2 wasn't being dragged to A&E as well). So no sleep for me. DH took DS3 up for a nap and got a few hours sleep in, but I was taking care of DS2, so I've literally had no sleep. I think I'm overtired now, and couldn't sleep now if I tried. He did at least tidy up the kitchen a bit this afternoon, while I watched the boys.

I wanted to do some work on craft stuff tonight, but I'm just not feeling like it tonight. Browsing the internet can be a bit aggravating sometimes, so I'll try not to do too much of that.

No Wii delivered yet, but we were told if not here by Tuesday, to ring them. So not too worried, although a bit annoying as we don't know when it's coming, so it affects where/when we go places. It is from a highly reliable website, so it's legit as well.

Triggles

Well, I've taken a little time tonight to look through my craft stuff. Didn't get all the way through it (yes, there's THAT MUCH! LOL) but will do some more tomorrow night. Up late tonight as still somewhat stressed, and that always gives me an aggravating bout of insomnia. I may try a cup of decaf tea in a bit if I don't start feeling sleepy soon. I played some music (80s music, gotta love it!), and just tried to relax a bit. It helped somewhat, so I will definitely need to take more time soon just to work on little projects.

Slowly going through lists for Christmas and birthdays for rest of year, to see what we'll need. I know we should really do something for the teachers and TAs from this year, but there are so many (2 regular teachers who job share, 2 classroom TAs, and then 2 TAs that share his 1:1 care plus another who does a bit a couple mornings a week and another that takes care of lunchtime/playtime supervision) that are involved in his care during the school day. :eek: I will have to think about this.

B-J-D

just wanted to stop by and say hi. iv been reading for a while now and i just wanted to say how well your coping with everything. you seem to be juggling so much stuff and this diary is obviously your way of clearing your head and getting thorts down instead of them flying round and round your haed.

i have a disabled son so i can relate to lots of things you say, he is my only child and i have a very supportive huband and family but i still find life very hard sometimes. trying to stay focused on money saving is hard with so many doctors appointmants and its the biggest money wastage we have, like yesterday going to see his specialist is a over an hour away in the car so lots of petrol (£15), we have to pay to park even with a blue badge (£5) then the hanging around betweeen appointments or jus general waiting to be seen ends up in the cafe (£20) but it has to be paid, we have these at least once a month plus other visits to the nearest hospital (30mile round trip) twice a month (ot, physio etc!). and on top of all that anything thats needed for disabled people seems to be 10x as much in price then normal (i need popper vests for him at £8 each, have to pay for adult nappies as normal ones are too small £70 a month) the extra money we get for him doesnt go very far!

anyway sorry for hijacking your diary but i just wanted to say your not alone and to keep up the great work your doing x

Triggles

B-J-D - thank you! Yes, I have noticed that anything for disabled children is miles more expensive than anything for NT children. It makes me so frustrated sometimes! We have to get a raincover for DS2's Maclaren Major, as it doesn't come with one, so that means almost £95, as to use the raincover, you have to have the suncover as well for support. It sounds like you've got even more on your plate than we do as far as appointments go - ours seem to go in a huge flurry and then nothing for a bit, then a bunch again. Thanks for posting - feel free to chat on here as and when. It's always nice to hear from others. And yes, I do think that sometimes this sounding board blog helps me work through things so I don't lose my mind.

DS2 missed school Thursday. He had his riding (RDA) in the morning and then late morning had an ASD assessment group meeting with paediatrician, CAMHS rep, speech therapist, and so on. And DH & myself. Again, going through the entire life history of DS2, his whole developmental history, milestones, everything. God, I get so tired of having to rattle it all off. You'd think they could get this information once, and then just keep it on his records and review it before they see him. And honestly, I've been exhausted lately, and so I really struggled trying to remember everything. The consultant brought up meds (assuming for his ADHD), but we're a bit uncomfortable with that. We are concerned they are going to push them, and we flat out told them that he would not be taking any medications until after we had done a bit of reading up on them first to assess the risks involved. He's only 4 (almost 5) and I thought medication wasn't recommended until age 6 for a number of reasons, one of which was that they hadn't established it was safe under age 6. So we had to make that very clear. I'm sure they thought we were in denial, but honestly, I'm not comfortable just handing him medication simply because they dictate it. Not to mention that it's a massive struggle just to get DS2 to take Calpol, much less a daily medication. And there's NO WAY we'd get him to swallow a tablet! :eek:

Anyway, we also got court papers from a debt that has sent us some incorrect default notices. So we're in the process of getting advice on how to respond, plus it's a time limit to respond, so things are quite stressful here. DH of course is over the top stressed between these two things (already on ADs), so he's now off work for a few weeks with a follow up appointment to speak to his GP about his stress level. So while he's home more, he's home and stressed, so not sure where that leaves it.. helpful? not helpful? :rotfl: hmmmm...... I'll have to withhold judgement, as he made tea tonight, so I didn't have to. I do think he's realised that I am far more stressed than I should be.

The consultant at the appointment Thursday also told us to contact the OP immediately. DS2 has figured out how to open the safety gates throughout the house.. so I can barely get any sleep for worry that he is going to roam through the house while we're sleeping as he wakes frequently during the night. He has no sense of danger at all and little to no impulse control, so it could be dangerous for not only him but all of us. So I'm struggling through on very little sleep. The OT is going to contact someone to get together with us hopefully next week to advise on some equipment and such to replace the safety gates.

The company that mis-sold us PPI has insisted they want medical proof of pre-existing medical conditions of DH from prior to opening an account with them. So now I have to contact the NHS and get copies of relevant medical records, which will cost us MONEY just to get copies. Very annoying! I am half-tempted to insist that they reimburse us for this, as we would not have needed this information had they not insisted on it. :mad: Ridiculous really.

When we feel like we're barely keeping our head above water, I notice our spending is more erratic. I think it's because we're too tired and stressed to reason things out better and often just go for the easiest option.

I feel badly as we would've liked to go down to DS1 and DIL's to visit DGS2, as it's his birthday, but we sent presents down to him instead. So much going on that I simply couldn't have coped with a 6 hour round trip drive. I know DS2 wouldn't have coped with it either, as he has literally been all over the place this afternoon! I knew it was going to be one of those days as he already was stimming and displaying facial tics already this morning, a sure sign that he is already overstimulated and overwrought.

I have 2 letters I need to put together re debts and get them sent out first thing on Monday morning. That stuff also seems to go in waves.. quiet for awhile, then all over the place, then quiet again...