Change of circumstances

clearingout

Head in sand attitude to everything, I'm afraid. You or I, or indeed any sensible person, would contact them and let them know what's going on (he didn't work at all for 4 months but didn't sign on so I guess it would have been difficult to prove - lived on proceeds of the house sale) but his attitude is fingers in ears lalalalalalalala I'm not listening and it will all go away. As you say, he's probably keeping quiet in the hope that they don't take anything from his wages, although he must realise I talk to them on a regular basis.

You're right, probably best to ask for the reassessment - at least that way he can never say to the children that I got more than the minimum by stealth means!

gratefulforhelp_2

I'm just thinking maybe he is earning more rather than less now...

Diamond78

Similar to my situation. I don't understand why my ex did that as he is now in arrears. He knew the CSA would finally catch up with him but he bragged he was getting away with it. Why get yourself in debt and cause misery?

Good luck and hope it gets sorted quick.

clearingout

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

I'm just thinking maybe he is earning more rather than less now...

If he's not lying, he's simply doing basic care work in a care home. Even if he takes on every shift possible, I can't see him coming anywhere near what he earnt before.

And then I laugh at myself knowing full well he's capable of lying in a way that would shame those able to sell ice to the Eskimos (you know what I mean!).

Right. You've convinced me. I'll ask for a reassessment on Monday.

Diamond - I've had one payment in just over 2 years plus two small payments in the last 8 weeks into my bank account. I have learnt to live without it. In fact, I very much see it as a savings plan!

gratefulforhelp_2

This is my DH's logic, if it was in his interests to contact CSA and report a reduced salary, he would have done it by now. After all with two kids, he has 80% of the disadvantage while you have only 20%.

clearingout

You're right, of course. But my ex isn't 'normal' (in the nicest possible way) and I don't think sees things that logically. His perspective will be 'if I phone the CSA and tell them I'm working, they'll make me pay a) what I should be paying now and b) what I should have been paying for the last 2 years so I'll keep quiet and hope if I put some money in her account every now and then she'll keep quiet'....only if he thinks about that logically, the one thing I haven't done in the last two years is keep quiet!

Nothing like dealing with a person who's head is in the sand, is there? The problem is, having built up debts and had dealings with the courts as a result, he knows full well that the system is very, very slow to catch up. I think he lives a bit of a Del Boy existence - you know this time next year I'll be a millionaire and I'll pay her back then....!!!!

gratefulforhelp_2

No, I completely understand how you feel, I'm also having to deal with someone whose head is...well in a different but equally dark place!!