Hi all.... My Story...

Get_rich_or_try_dying

Hi everyone,

I've been lurking for a while now but haven’t had the guts to ask for advice. I've got to the point in my life where i'm really panicking about the money that I am in debt for.

I owe my girlfriend £5000.

At the beginning of the year I had an accident and wrote of my car. Because I needed one to get to work she very kindly loaned me £1800 to buy another car. Shortly after that I was made redundant without any sort of pay. Stupidly I let myself wallow in my own self pity and fooled myself into believing that I was actively looking for another job (I only visited the job centre once a week).

I felt so low that I didn't know what to do. My g/f was paying all the bills and I we were constantly arguing about money. It took me a whole 6 months before I actually snapped out of the frame of mind that I was in... and I managed to get a job.

I'm only earning £13,500 a year (Soon to be £14,000 after 6 months) but now I feel allot happier that i'm managing to pay at least our £600 mortgage.

Because i'm getting paid weekly at the moment, i'm finding it hard to actually budget my money. I give her £150 for the mortgage every week... but the rest of it is quickly taken up with other things such as petrol, tax, parking ticket, birthday presents etc..

Now the arguments have started again because i've "Not attempted to pay back any of the money that I own her".

The reason the figure is £5000 is due to her using her overdrafts and credit cards to pay for our mortgage, bills, 2 cars, food etc.. while I was being a complete tool being depressed.

I really do want to pay her back but I don't know how I can. I don't go out drinking (I'm teetotal), I don't have any expensive hobbies (I play golf every now and again which is free).

I just want the arguments to stop because not only do I hate owing money to her.. but I fear that the damage this has caused is going to have a lasting effect on our relationship.

Elfin123

Hi,

Just wanted to say Hi and welcome, it must have taken alot of courage to write everything down ..

I'm sure the experts will be along soon to give you some help & advice.

Welcome xxx

tesuhoha

Im not an expert but I think that what you could do is to set up a weekly standing order, say for £50 or something you can afford into a savings account and pretend its a tax you have to pay out of your earnings. This account could be in your girlfriend's name so you cant withdraw it. Then keep a record of how much you have paid her back on a spreadsheet with dates, once you are better off you will be able to increase it. It will mount up and make you feel that you are at least repaying some of the money.

evie451

Hi get rich
I was a fellow lurker until yesterday! Joining in properly is very theraputic and the more experienced money savers will be along soon to help. I am sure they will start by asking you to post an SOA I did mine yesterday it was bad but not that bad:j . Money has also caused me relationship problems over the years but at least you arent letting it go on too long without doing something about it well done

Willsnarf1983

Get_rich_or_try_dying wrote:

The reason the figure is £5000 is due to her using her overdrafts and credit cards to pay for our mortgage, bills, 2 cars, food etc.. while I was being a complete tool being depressed.

so does this mean that the total she spend whilst u were out of work was 10k or are u being made to pay the whole lot back? If so should she not burden 50% of this?

Will

Get_rich_or_try_dying

Willsnarf1983 wrote:

so does this mean that the total she spend whilst u were out of work was 10k or are u being made to pay the whole lot back? If so should she not burden 50% of this?

Will

Hi Will,

The £5000 debt is made up of me being "unable" to pay a number of mortgage payments (She paid them using her overdraft and credit card) and the £1800 that she lent me to buy a car.

The way that we worked it before I was made redundant was that I was the one that paid the mortgage and she paid all the bills that came in. It may seem a little unfair but it works out that we both pay/paid around the same amount.

sukey13

the matched betting thread. As long as you are very disciplined you can make hundreds of pounds of tax free money reasonably quickly.

However, do follow all the advice and DO NOT start gambling.

Shawz

Hi Get Rich,

Don't really have any good advice to offer just wanted to say well done for posting on here, as you have probably seen already there are lots of people who will be able to help.

Having been in debt I know what its like, but the good thing is you will learn a lot on the journey

Hope you get it sorted soon.

anniestar

Hi and welcome.You have done the right thing in posting, the support here is amazing. With your attitude i'm sure you will very soon be back on track. Good luck.

loubie_lou

£150 a week for the mortgage? That's alot isn't it? Is this your regular share or does it include a bit more? IE some of the money you owe her?

lou_lou_skinty_poos

money can taint a relationship i would say im in the position ure gf finds herself in my bf owes me money but i know ill neva get it back cos he simply cant pay it and this has contributed greatly to the financial mess im in now at least u want to pay the money back show this thread to your gf and explain how you feel at least your willing to make the effort am sure that will go a long way to stopping the arguing good luck