Welcome Newbies and Lurkers

dojoman

dojoman

wannabehermit

Hi new here, have used the site from time to time to find info when needed, e.g. the credit file clean up was very useful, thank you, I'm wondering if there is a support thread around for people who have found themselves br because of a former relationship? And if so if you could point me in the right direction, if not would this board be the best place to start one?

Bit of background. ex spent money like it was going out of fashion, as far as I could tell it was all on drink & drugs. I scraped every penny together that I could to keep roof over our heads, to put food on the table etc, then found out that he was using the cc's to get cash out. They went from being totally clear, only there for emergencies, holidays and other purchases that I wanted extra cover on, to being up to their limits within a few weeks. I was working my !!!! off to try to get them paid back off again, but as fast as I could transfer them to interest free cards and pay them off he was running them up further, refusing to sign correspomdence to cancel cards etc.

Also had 2 joint bank accounts, I managed to get both of these to a zero balance - he'd run both of the od's right up on them. When the house went on the market he came round to sign the paperwork, I also had forms to take my name off of the joint accounts but instead of signing he kicked off and knocked me about. Bank wouldn't take my name off without his signature, I wasn't about to ask him again. He the runs these both to their limits and beyond until the bank will no longer let him withdraw money so then the charges accumulate. Smile were pretty good and stopped interest & charges but Barclays were adding £22 a day until I finally managed to speak to someone helpful but by this time there was a few thousand of charges on this account.

I spent sometime with a DMP until I was made redundant then as my surplus was 52p a month that had to stop. He was making no payments whatsoever. It became clear that br was my only choice and while I was trying to get the cash together someone on another forum suggested a dro. Luckily my debt was a few £ under the £15k so I went for it and my god what a relief, such a weight lifted as I couldn't see an end. I was discharged a year ago so only 4 more years of it left on my credit file, however now there are times when that weight feels like it is back.

I'm now married and this man couldn't be anymore different from my ex, however it almost feels like the dro is dragging us back somewhat. It feels like I can't move on (2 children involved as well, so ex is always going to be there I'm afraid) but this feels like it's stopping DH and I from properly getting on with our lives. I'm reliant totally on him if we need to get anything on credit and we can't get a joint account. Now I know that's not the be all and end all of it, and we both have access to each others accounts but things would be much easier for us to have joint accounts for things like shopping ad the car, but that can't happen otherwise it's going to screw DH up completely and atm his credit is good.

It just really feels like yet again there's something that the ex has over me and it's just one more thing not letting me move on, one more thing interfering with my new life, with mine & DHs life together, and there are times I can deal with it, but many many times when I find it so hard.

If you've got this far thank you for reading.

IF

Hi wannabehermit, We don't have support threads here but from your writing on your story I would start a Debt Free Diary. You will get support and meet others.

The Debt Free Diaries Board - Click here

I wish you well and hope things do get better.


Best wishes
If...x

IF

dojoman

Bump..........................

IF

dojoman wrote: »

Afternoon IF, I am fine thank you, just "chillin" at the moment, hope you are ok?

Hi Dojo, I'm fine too......I'm chilling cause the weather's changed here!!:eek::rotfl:

IF

bump.............x

wannabehermit

ifwisheswerehorses... wrote: »

Hi wannabehermit, We don't have support threads here but from your writing on your story I would start a Debt Free Diary. You will get support and meet others.

The Debt Free Diaries Board -

I wish you well and hope things do get better.


Best wishes
If...x

Thank you If... I have now started a thread over there and looking forward to being able to offload, moan and hopefully help others do the same.

IF

wannabehermit wrote: »

Thank you If... I have now started a thread over there and looking forward to being able to offload, moan and hopefully help others do the same.

I'm really pleased and best wishes xx