sleepless nights and stress

jane130

Oh dear where to begin .

My name is jane and I have allowed christmas to become stressfull this year

I never stress over christmas , what will be will be and if it all goes worng then so what its just one day - and aslong as the kids get somehting they want from santa they will be happy .

so whats different this year - Me being the kind and considerate realtive that I am ,couldn;t stand listening to my mum , nan , aunt and uncle complain about not knowing what to do for christmas this year . Its the first christmas without my grandad . So they are all coming to me !

Me and my already bursting at the seams tiny house , My table that seats 5 at a push has to somehow accomodate 9 , My cooker is not working properly 9 thakfully the oven does) and we only have 2 rings working on the hob

the only place we have to eat is the kitchen and we should just about be able to fit in a table big enough - when i say table we are thinking mdf supported somehow covered witha tablecloth but we still have to work out the specifics .

and I decided to have a homemade christmas this year - only I haven't made quiet enough of the preserves and my marmalade hasn't set .

My daughter thought she was being very helpful and got an order for 6 sock monkeys froma girl at work - lovely as she paid for them but that now means I have 14 days to make enough sock monkeys for all the children I want to give them to - not a problem really but its just something else on my to do list .

as of yet my eldest son doesn't have a single gift ( if he deserves one is another issue) and nothing is wrapped yet as I have had a sick child home for the last week .

Thankfully dh was home yesterday so we got a few jobs done - I wrote my christmas cards and bought the fabric to make a tablecloth and got eldest dd and her boyfriends gifts

we have accepted that we are probably going to have to use our overdraft for christmas this year and I hate the idea of coming out of christmas with any sort of debt

I now officailly hate 2.30 am - its the time of day ( or night) when - in my head- my kitchen is far to tiny to fit us all in ( but it will) we have no money to buy ds's gift ( but we do just a little at a time)
we aren't going to be able to cook enough for 9 ( the truth is we cook enough for 9 every year for 5 of us ) . Omg what are we going to do after dinner !!!

I would love any ideas you have for dealing with stress this chrstmas and making it right for everyone has become so important to me - we are all going to be missing grandad hugely and its fallen to me to make it as good as it can be in the circumstances.

like I said at the start - I am usually so relaxed about christmas that this has totally knocked me off my perch .

Thanks for reading xx

snax

LOL:rotfl:

Just do what most others do [or is it just me ] ..... start Xmas day with a very large ruby port, about 9 am is fine, and repeat until half the bottle is gone - by then you will either be not bothered about how it's going ... or totally convinced that it is the best Xmas ever.

Works for me every year :beer:

ps. Has the added bonus of making you need a wee kip about 4 O'clock..ish, which means you miss the washing-up .....:T

SugarSpun

First, big hug.

Second, preparation is the key. If you only have two oven rings working but your oven is fine, consider roasting your veg around your turkey in its nommy juices so all you have to do on the stovetop is make gravy and possibly some sprouts at the last minute.

Third, you're doing a wonderful thing.

Fourth, if you don't have time to wrap stuff, hide everyone's stuff somewhere in the house and give everyone an envelope with a clue to their locations. A few seasonal bags/sacks closed off at the top with name labels and no one will even notice the absence of paper.

Fifth, if you're short on preserves try chutney - whoopsied veg and some vinegar and you're all good - but your house will smell for a while after you've finished making it. Unset marmalade can be reboiled if you feel you need to, but it's nommy if it's a bit runny and easier to spread.

Sixth, after dinner you could put people to work washing up, watch a film together or create a game where you have a series of questions in a jar and people pull out one in turn and have to answer it. It's nice when there are different generations, because you learn things you otherwise wouldn't have known.

Seventh, big hug. You're doing great.

monkeysallsayboo

i have been doing some craft fairs, plus meant to be making xmas presents for our friends/family. o began to stress at everything that needed to be done!

i found the best was was to write loads of lists!! at the moment i have a places to visit, to do, things to buy, things to make, things to remember list. visit is like go to tesco and buy x. to do is wrap, cards, xmas eve clean, etc. if you break it down, to smaller things they are more easily crossed off and you feel like you get somewhere! even though its longer to start lol. for example, instead of just wrap presents, i have wrap OH, wrap DD stocking, wrap DD other presents, wrap my family presents, wrap nephews, etc. then when i spend a whole evening wrapping i can cross things off.

it also reminds me that i can do it. and when i sit here thinking i cant be bothered to do something, i do lots of little things off the list, like clean the windows, or something smaller than wrap everything!

it will be fine. you know you can get everyone in! so its a case of being organised to get everything done.
re veg - you could have peas, and sweetcorn, so they can both be done in the microwave. and also cook other veg and then put it in the oven.

x

pollys

Have you got/ can you borrow picnic tables or even (yes we have done it) wallpapering tables. An electric steamer would help you could do your veg in one to save hob rings. As another poster said, write a list and cross off when something is done/bought that way you will feel in control. If your guests offer to help/provide something say "YES PLEASE" after dinner mints, crackers, a pudding, wine, cheese?

HTH

Pollys x

sjs6809

Can anyone help with the cooking, I have family over each year and my mum always cooks the roast potatoes at her house and brings them with her, I just pop in them in the oven for a bit longer to crisp them up. Also as others have said prepare your veg the night before. Does anyone have a table they could bring and you could push 2 together, we always have to drag another old small table out of the garage and push them together.
Easy to say but try not to get stressed just enjoy it sometimes half the fun is when its not perfect and your all squashed round a small table.

meerustar

One of the best sights on Christmas Day is seeing people walking the streets with paste boards and chairs

I'm cooking for 11 but Mum's cooking the turkey and making a trifle. My MIL is cooking beef and making prawn cocktail, so starters and desserts done, meat done, so only have to make a few roasters and veg ... and they do the washing up.

Don't let it ruin your day, everyone will know how hard it is to prepare a large dinner never mind on Xmas Day when for some reason it seems to take longer, lol. ... and as a previous poster said, pour yourself a large one and chill.

And I'm sure your allowed Baileys on your cornflakes on Christmas Day ...ooh, and calories don't count either ENJOY!!

jackieb

Could you put your table in the livingroom? My in-laws do this whenever we go to theirs for Christmas dinner, and we used to do it in our old house. And most living rooms are bigger than our kitchens in this country.

I'd also be asking my mum if she could make something - the starter or trifle or whatever.

Good luck, and have a lovely day. xx

PollyFlinders_3

Some really good ideas here. I think its being together that counts on Christmas day, not sitting together. When I was small and my cousins visited the children used to sit on the floor round the coffee table while the adults sat at the "big" table. We children loved it because it was the only day of the year that the adults left us alone and didn't complain about table manners or what we were and weren't eating.

In our house we bring in the garden table and chairs, cover the table with a christmassy cloth and sit 4 people round that, then have 7 adults at the main table (which is big enough for 6). No-one minds being a bit squished and the second table is close enough that we can talk to each other.

Definitely take control of the situation and ask each of your guests to bring something that will either save you time, money, cooking space or all 3! I'm asking my visitors to bring crackers, wine, soft drinks, and peeled veg, but your list might be different. I know one of my mother in law's friends who lives across town always brings a cooked turkey for their christmas dinner.

As for the marmalade - rather than reboil it, why not just re-label it as marmalade glaze, and tell people its for them to use when they next have a gammon joint??

Remember to have a lovely day, and that just because you offered to cook for others doesn't mean anyone wants you to stress out more than you have to.

jakes-mum

Oh big hug!

Been here, had parents and grandma the year my granddad died, 7 of us round my table for 4! :eek:

First thing is always have a cup of tea!! nothing seems as bad after a good cuppa

As previous poster said, make lists, I have a list of what I have to do, the presents I have bought with just names written for who still to buy for, what im making christmas day (so I can see what I can prepare night before or cook first thing to free up space in the oven)

I stressed over what my guests would do after eating (especially gran) and bless her the moment we sat down after eatting she fell asleep for 3 hrs!! :eek: seems she hadnt slept really since grandad died and being with her family made her so relaxed she was out for the count My dad soon followed suit and my mum played games with the kids and we all watched a film.

With food preparation, dont be scared to ask your mum for a hand (though most likely she will offer as she has also done the big christmas cook) and feel free to ask her to make something 'mum im freaking over puddings all the kids want something different PLEASE can you bring a trifle as your the best at making them' also with the money side, if your close to your mum you can just tell her that with so much to buy for your panicking about going overdrawn, just telling someone close can lift so much weight and you have a good chance of her offering to bring a few bits

Finally enjoy your day, whether its perfect or an absolutely up the wall, everyone knows how hard you have worked for the day and the main reason they are all there is to be with you and enjoy your company

merry christmas

jackieb

jakes-mum wrote: »

I stressed over what my guests would do after eating (especially gran) and bless her the moment we sat down after eatting she fell asleep for 3 hrs!! :eek: seems she hadnt slept really since grandad died and being with her family made her so relaxed she was out for the count

Aww, bless. :A