Oh My God - Finally coming to terms with Debt

JoJo_Sparkly

Hello everyone.

Well I have finally today sat down and worked out how bad my situation is and I'm horrified I owe just over £81,000 and that's without counting my mortgage into the mix. I just can't believe how stupid I've been over money and to make life easier I've just gone from card to card till I've run up riddiculous amounts on cards, got loans to repay them - but then started using the cards again.
I've been aware that the situation was getting out of hand for ages but didn't want to face it - thought in my head that I probably owed around £35K - (I know that's bad too-but hey right now I'd be delighted if it was that!)
So I've signed up to the site - gone to one of the debt management charity sites and done their budget thing ) I just feel so depressed and ashamed - I'm not a stupid person, but clearly I should never be let loose with credit as I am totally reckless. For the last couple of years I've been making minimum payments on everything - then a surprise baby and I'm totally stuffed financially. I take home nearly £3K a month but its now being swallowed up with childcare costs, overdraft and credit payments.
I just can't see a light anywhere. - If anyone can suggest a way forward - even little steps that will make things feel any better I would be greatful, sorry I can't believe how pathetic I sound but I really have messed up big time!

lazza_w

Hi JoJo. Don't panic! You have made the first step, and better things are on the way.
First of all congratulations on the baby! Don't loose site of the important things in life and a new baby is the most important thing that could ever happen to you.
'depressed and ashamed' - no way!. We have all messed up financially in the past but you should be proud of yourself that you have recognised the problem and are now looking for help to sort out the problem. The important thing is what happens from now on - the past is a closed book.

If you look at other posts from similar people you will see that they post an SOA ie a detailed list of incomings and outgoings including interest rates etc. Work that out and all the other clever people will be able to help you out.

lowlowlola

well done for facing up to it - you'll feel so much better in the long run.

post you soa -you'll be amazed what these guys can do and make an appointment with CCCS ( you will have to wait a few weeks but it is well worth it) they will give you lots of advice and help iwth a debt management plan.

please don't feel ashamed or pathetic - it happens to the best of us - we all make mistakes!! the key is to understand why you did it in the first place and to take steps to make a permenant move from the red to the black,, it is a long old slog but well worth it - you will surprise your self with how much you can cut back with out missing it and you will feel so much better for it...this is the first month in 15 years that i am in credit in my bank three days before pay day - its only £9 but its mine!!!!!

Good luck with it all,,, and make sure you take time to enjoy that scrumptious baby of yours - thats the most important thing in life - banks and credit card companies don't own you and they can't stop you being happy

Rgc_3

Congratulations on your baby:j

feeling depressed and ashamed is probably how most of us feel when the realisation hits usI know i get that feeling in cycles.

but whats important now is looking forward and like already said ..posting your soa here will soon get the steps moving and your ll get options to help you focus on sorting this out for yourself and it wil help you prepare for your cccs visit..

best wishes

Mrs_Sparkle

Hiya JoJo and welcome. Congratulations on your baby- I am 6 months pregnant with a surprise bundle so I know the feeling. You sound quite similar to me actually as I too take home a decent salary but most of it seems to stay in my account for less than 48 hours at the beginning of the month. Post your SOA and I'll do my best to help you as others have helped me- sometimes you can make significant savings from small changes.

Oh, and you don't sound pathetic- you sound like a lot of us here.

Best wishes and keep in touch x x

Angela_D_3

Mrs_Sparkle wrote:

Oh, and you don't sound pathetic- you sound like a lot of us here.

Mmmmmm :rolleyes:

James&Shell

Just wanted to say congraulations and good luck!

JoJo_Sparkly

Hi All

Thank you so much for all your kind words. Its great to know people are kind enough to offer support.

I'm not sure what an SOA is or where I post it - sorry bit of a dim wit on the computer.


Anyway my progress so far is to total up all I owe - cut up the credit cards (gulp) and cancel my gym membership to save £38 a month. I'm sure I can find otehr ways to save money and I'm going to spend this afternoon putting all the baby things my little one has alredy grown out of ( or in some cases never had a chance to wear) on to ebay - fingers crossed I'll make something.
JOJO

lynzpower

Ok

An SOA is a list of ALLLLL you incomings & outgoings. it means statement of affairs.

If you look at the page you get to when you come to debt free wannabee- theres some "stickies" - ones by Southern Scouser, called first time posters. #

Have a good read, and use martins budget planner ( also at top of page)
So you can see clearly what your ins anbd outs are and where you are overspending

Then just write it all out here, and we can do our best to advise!

Cheers
lynz