Constantly worry about money

ScottishMum

hi

just wondered if anyone else feels like this day in day out ...................... i constantly worry about money. My DH and I both work, both bring in a good salary, only have CC which we pay more than the minimum each month. We are not behind on any payments on any of our outgoings e.g. mortgage, CC, Council Tax etc - basically all our bills are paid each month on time and we are left with around £500-£600 per month to live on for things such as shopping, petrol, living expenses, xmas/birthday presents etc etc.

Seeing it written down it looks like a lot, but I constantly worry about how its going to last to one of us gets paid again. When I get paid, my DH gets paid 2wks later so there is never a large lapse of time until either one of us gets paid.

I get so stressed about, it gives me a headache, i get really irritated with my DH who does all the banking and he gets annoyed at me as Im basically shooting the messenger. He isnt doing anything untoward, I have seen and can see easily what our incomes and outgoings are, so nothing is being hid from me.

My stress level goes through the roof with it and then cant concentrate with anything.

It just feels that everyone else around me is out there spending money for xmas etc - Ive thankfully done all mine, no more to buy - but I cant even afford to go and buy myself new shoes from my xmas party now or get my eyebrows done........sounds so trivial I know but it also stresses me out.

Im sure all those out there are doing it on credit, whereas we arent.

AArrrggghhhhhhhhhh !!! i get so annoyed with myself about it all.

Rant Over, thanks for reading
MB :eek:

pennypusher

Hi, why don't you post up a Statement of Affairs. It may be helpful to you if you and your other half pay off all your debts and not just the minimum amounts, this would probably reduce your stress levels and you probably wouldn't be worrying about the money so much. If you paid off your debts you could then save up and put some money aside so that you have a safety net in case you have a sudden large expenses like a new washing machine or something. You could also set some money aside just to spend on yourself without feeling guilty!

Quenastoise

I wonder if you had bad experiences with money in the past and that it's something that you have not got over yet ?

The following may help with your feelings of anxiety:

- have a repayment schedule for the debt including dates, amount repaid and remaining balance.

- consider any spare cash that you could divert towards the debt. See how it would affect the remaining balance and the interest charge in the repayment schedule.

- after you have repaid the debt, build up some savings (say, 3 months of salaries so you know that should a crisis unexpectedly occur, you have something to fall back on).

- share the money decision and the money management with your OH

- have a budget for expenses

- keep a monthly log of your expenses and compare how you are doing against the budget

Remember, you control your money, money doesn't control you

Billy-no-Money

You don't say how much you owe on the credit card, but is the balance reducing? If it is, then don't worry about it too much.

As for being short of cash and getting stressed - in the long run you'll suffer far less stress than people like me - I took the easy option (a bit on the overdraft, a bit on the credit card) and now I'm having to pay it all back!

bikerfrenzy

I also get the feeling that your worries are rooted in something a little deeper than your finances..why why don't you talk to your OH or a close friend not about the money but about the way you feel. I have no idea what I'm on about but your money worries could be a symptom of some other unrelated anxiety .Just remember the value of my advise can go down as well as up.

ScottishMum

thankyou all for your replies.

I had money problems in the past and entered into a trust deed (scottish) which is now complete so not got that going on.

Our CC is £750 with limit of £1000, so nothing major I know. We have a consolidation loan which is being paid monthly, was a build of CC and overdraft and worked out cheaper each month and would have it paid quicker, so not a real worry there.

Ive always felt if I have money I am happy, if I dont, Im not happy and Im then stressed. In the past I would use my cards constantly and also have cash in my purse which I wouldnt spend as i liked the look of it!! sounds ridiculous i know, but I have managed to get over that situation but still basicaly happy when I have money and down and moody when I dont.

Ive always, even as a child, always felt like I never have enough of anything really, Im not greedy in anyway, but always feel something is missing - e.g. never had enough toys as a child, never had enough clothes or shoes etc etc................... I used to buy, buy and buy and it was still never enough. It was also a self confidence thing as i never felt happy with anything I had, everyone else seemed better, looked better or sounded better than I did.

So, you are all right, it is a deep rooted situation that has been inside for a long time.

I have no idea what will ever make me happy - I have a lot, but I cannot see it really - I have a well paid job with an emergency service, a nice house, loving husband, gorgeous daughter, great friends, supportive family, 2 cars................. but still to me its not enough.............dont know what else I want tho to be honest.

Sorry this is even longer than the first one.
MB

Quenastoise

Dear Mhairi,

If you were to win the Lottery tomorrow, ask yourself, how would you feel ? No doubt you would feel more secure, but would you feel better about yourself and your life ?

Society is trying to convince us otherwise, but material possessions do not make us happy (even it would be nice to have unlimited access to beautiful and nice things).

Perhaps you should spare some time and look into yourself to see what is currently missing and what would bring you deep satisfaction - maybe you need to feel useful or need to engage in purposeful activities ? Only you would know.

I hope you find the answers