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The Best Christmas Cake Recipe

CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE

Ingredients:

1 cup of water

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup of sugar

1 tsp salt

1 cup of brown sugar

lemon juice

4 large eggs

nuts

1 bottle Rum

2 cups of dried fruit


Sample the rum to check quality.

Take a large bowl,check the rum again.

To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat .


Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar.

Beat again.



At this point it's best to make sure the rum is shtill OK.

Try another cup .... just in case

Turn off the mixerer.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.


Pick fruit off floor.


Mix on the turner.



If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a
drewscriver.



Sample the rum to check for tonsisticity.


Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a crafp.


Check the rum.


Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.



Add one table.




Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.


Greash the oven.


Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.



Don't forget to beat off the turner.



Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the rum and kick the
cat.


CHERRY MISTMAS!
Here I go again on my own....

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