Everything's gone wrong

MCMitten

I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out- I just dont know what to do anymore.

Last year my mum gave me and my sister the opportunity to start a business together. I was so happy, I thought i'd spend the rest of my life slogging my guts out for other people on minimum wage and not make anything of my life.

We got the shop in March and started fitting it out. Here's where I should've backed off.... My sister spent the first 4 months having temper tantrums when she didn't get her own way and left me, my mum and stepdad to do the work (she's 18 by the way) I worked for 5 months with no pay and 2 days off (my DS, aged 10, spent his whole summer holidays and every weekend in that shop for which I feel incredibly guilty) The final 2wks before we opened she came in to do her bit.

We opened the beginning of september and i've got to the point where I cant cope with her mood swings, snapping at me and being ignored when she doesn't agree with something. She has the kitchen she wanted (had a temper til she got her own way) she has the window display (I couldn't be bothered with the drama if I didn't agree) and produces the product that we sell. I came to a point last week where I started to ask myself 'what part of this is something i've done?' So I spoke to mum and she suggested some things that I could do i.e Improving the shelving displays etc. So I set about doing that.

Anyway between Halloween and Christmas my sister was going to do a Midnight Swan window display but with time pressing on for christmas and the window displays taking a while to produce (made from chocolate) I asked would it be easier for her to miss the swan display out just now and do it later, thus taking the pressure off the christams display and giving herself a bit more time to do it. Well she shouted at me that the was doing the swan and flounced off in a huff and didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. I later found out she'd gone to mum and told her i'd said she couldn't do the swan display:mad:

Today came to a head when she once again stormed off in a mood because i'd put something back that she'd taken off the shelf. Maybe at this point I didn't conduct myself in a very good way and took the said item down to the kitchen and told her she was in charge and she was going to do what she wanted anyway or go in a huff. As I proceeded back upstairs she had the cheek to say that I was being childish- maybe I was but this is coming from the drama queen herself and I saw red. I told her to stick her business up her !!!!! and walked out the door (this was at 10.30 this morning)

Anyway i've just taken DS to the his club and on the way back I handed in my keys to mum- who said nothing.
I just dont know what to do anymore- I'm finding it so hard to work with the girl but that business was meant to be my career for the rest of my life. I'm gutted:(

Kaz2904

Awww, sorry it has ended like this. Honestly though, I would prefer to work for minimum wage for the rest of my life than have to deal with this type of behaviour. Hey, at least you'd get paid holiday.
Good luck with whatever the future holds for you xx

shirlgirl2004

It's not a good situation to be in but if you continue to try and work with your sister it may ruin your relationship permanently. Some things just are not worth it.

MCMitten

Thankyou. I just thought things were going to be different when I started this. I'm so upset to leave but I just cant take the behavior anymore.

I live in a small town and jobs are so hard to come by. I'm now unemployed with christmas coming up.

Oh god here come the tears again

shirlgirl2004- we were never really close as some sisters are so I suppose that doesn't help

casperlarue

I don't have any experience in running my own business but I would think that 18 is very young to be taking on the responsibility of a business. Obviously there are 18 year olds who can do it but if your sister is having temper tantrums because she can't have her own way it would seem, to me, that she's viewing the whole thing like a 5 minute wonder and not a legitimate business.

Is there any way you cold run the business yourself? You seem to want this much more than she does.

Sambucus_Nigra

OK - your mum surely won't want her money poured down the drain so you need to sit with her and find out what she thinks can happen from here on in.

You also need a Business Plan [they aren't just for bank loans] where you decide where the finances are coming from and going; and how much responsibility each of you take for the business. ie her area of working and the decisions that she can make and yours. You need to have regular formal meetings where you sit down and sort these things out together otherwise both of you will be jobless.

But you do need to find out where your mum is sitting on all this and why she can't tell your sister to button it.

MCMitten

It has always been a dream of hers to own a chocolate shop- she makes the chocolates (i'm bloomin awful in a kitchen:rotfl:) It could be done without her but I wouldn't do that to her and mum wouldn't allow it. I've got so many ideas to take the business forward but it all depends on the chocolate production and she wouldn't allow anyone to come in to help as she is afraid that they would be better than her- Madness!!!

Teenie_D

Why isn't your mum stepping in and telling your sister to wind her neck in and thank her lucky stars that she has been given this fantastic oppourtunity?!
Has your sister always been spoilt and used to getting her own way? Sounds like she doesn't have the maturity to have her own business to be honest, and unfortunately you are suffering for it

Is their anyway you can sit down together, with your Mum if necessary and clear the air? Seriously will your sister cope with this on herown? Sounds like she'll need you.

Hope something works out for you but I agree with the other poster who says you would be better working for the minimum wage rather than dealing with this rubbish. Good luck!

ailuro2

I think you need to step back, calm down then call everyone together for a crisis meeting - if your sister is the creative genius then she needs to devote her time to that while you become the marketing guru front of house as it were. Draw lines in the sand and define resposibilities, let her know you will not let her interefere in things that aren't her responsibility and in return make sure you give her free reign to be as creative as she likes ( as long as she makes enough of the best selling money-spinners too, of course)

tesuhoha

Sorry I have to say something. I don't think you should end it. You have worked damned hard for this and why should she reap the benefits of your hard work. Don't give up so easily. Its not her business - its yours jointly.

Go back tomorrow and say that you have to have a board meeting. Sit around a table with your parents if possible and thrash things out. Have your say and let her have her say and try to come to some agreement. It cannot go on like this but it doesn't mean you give up. You are the mature one. You should turn the tables on her and say that if she cannot keep a curb on her temper then perhaps she should not be in business. You should also think what you both bring to the business. Has she some special talent that allows her to be the prima donna? You have to treat it like a business not a family relationship. Be practical and ruthless, level headed and unemotional and it will work better. Tell her that you cannot afford to bring personal resentments into the business as it will fail.

Most important of all let her know in no uncertain terms that you are not going to be bullied out of your share of the business. Because that is whatit sounds like - bullying. Let her know you are not a pushover and you are not prepared to back down. You are not going to give up so easily.

Your business cannot be over. For the sake of your family you have to give it a chance.

Mojisola

I don't know how you've put up with that behaviour for so long! It sounds as if she is rather too immature to be running a business. Does she have any experience of working, fitting in with other staff, co-operating on projects and getting stuff done on time?

It's probably time for deep breaths all round and a meeting with your Mum and your sister. When family work together, they often don't get specific about jobs as you would if you were employing someone. How about suggesting that you write job descriptions for you and your sister so that you both know what you are responsible for. When that's decided, you have to work within the remits. If it's your job to set up window displays, then your sister doesn't alter anything without getting prior agreement from you. If she is producing an item that has been agreed, it's her responsibility to get it done in time.

You should be able to get advice about starting up a business. If you are under 30, it might be worth talking to the Prince's Trust and see if they can help with the formal side. If you have better structures within the business and clearly defined roles, you are more likely to be a success and having an outside organisation making suggestions may make your sister start to act more like a business woman and less like a toddler!