the frozen credit card

elantan

ok i meant to post this the other day i can give you loads of excuses like i was working nights(which i was) but can't think of anything that you all might actually buy into:D ..so as a few of you will remember .. i froze hubby's credit card so i wouldnt spend on it anymore!!! ...well after agreeing to my lesson from ss (what a teacher you should try him out lol;) ) i needed a bank card ..having done away with my debit card(just dont trust myself) i had to use my (hubby's) egg card so i went to the freezer and voila i defrosted it in minutes just turned the kettle on ..next problem..i'm going to see slava's snowshow tomorrow with hubby and son and there i was today telling son we'll go for an indian before the theatre make a night of it... son asked..how you gonna pay for it (i've been preaching the good word of m.s.e) and i say's visa ..i mean come on ...what is it with me ..anyway son brought me back to reality by reminding me that we can't afford it ...sad day when a 15 year old has to teach his mum ...i think i'm doing good then blow it all to fcek ...why do i do this? anyone got a clue?

garry_s

Habit!! I'm the same - I've tried to have credit cards - I still spend - I've even hidden one away for "emergencies! It doesn't work - in the end I destroyed all the credit cards -took out a loan from Alliance and Leicester and paid them all off.

lynzpower

elantan

Is it that you like the act of spending itself?

Ie handing the card over, handing the cash over, buying things FOR people?

elantan

i dont know lynz to be truthful i hate shopping ..i think i must be the only female on the planet that thinks this way but i really can't stand shopping and xmas is even worse ..i don't know if it's because when we could afford things we always paid for friends as they couldnt afford it (low wages sinlge parents students etc) and put everything on the visa ..or maybe there is some part in me that does like the act of spending and another part that that knows this so hates it....maybe it was because i was one child of 11 and my mum and dad are very poor so we always went without...so i said to myself i'm not going without when i get older ..i honestly just don't know..but i do know it needs to stop

elantan

what i do know is there will be absolutely no point in becomming debt free unless i can ensure i don't just go out and take on more ..i feel so strong handling our debt just now ...for the first time in 15 or so years i have no overdraft ..that is such a fantastic feeling ....i paid off the tickets yesterday so i have no visa now either ..and it feels good ..i just need to keep it up ..think i might just have to cut the visa up if i can't trust myself

lynzpower

just cut it up.

Honestly.

The fact of the matter is that if you cut it up and leave the account open then you can always reorrder a card if you feel that there is something you HAVE to get into debt for ie a real emergency- such as your car breaking down & not having the funds to fix it.

If you feel brave you can just close down the account. Ive done this, and felt very chuffed with myself, but also cos I know that theres no way I can impulsively get into debt for the sake of it.

I would think about it a bit more, maybe chat with hubby & mates about what they think you are like with money, do you want to be seen to be generous, the people you are helping out ( or have done) all seem to be those low income people, do you hope to make things better for them, can you remember how you felt the last time you bought someone something that they couldnt afford themselves? these are important conversations to have with yourself. Until you truly understand why and thus how you got into debt, and be able to address that thinking. And think of alternative ways to get that same feeling you get when spending money that lets face it, you havent got, on other people.

Well done on getting out of the OD- Im still working on mine :wall:

elantan

lynz your totally right as usual ..is it the feeling that i get when i help someone out .....or the guilt when i don't..you may have just hit the nail on the head ..and your also right about the card i can always order another one ..and with xmas coming round the corner and me saying that's it this christmas there will be no credit taken to pay for it ..the visa will have to go ...the only reason i managed to get rid of the overdrafts was du to the money i got back from my endowment claim ...as soon as i cleared it i took away the facility and wrote to the bank saying take away my debit card and give me a basic one ..otherwise i'd still be attempting to pay the overdraft next millenium i think...thanks again for your advice i know i can depend on you ...

elantan

i can see several conversations with myself happening now lol

ZTD

elantan wrote:

son asked..how you gonna pay for it (i've been preaching the good word of m.s.e) and i say's visa ..i mean come on ...what is it with me ..anyway son brought me back to reality by reminding me that we can't afford it ...sad day when a 15 year old has to teach his mum ...i think i'm doing good then blow it all to fcek ...why do i do this? anyone got a clue?

Well first of all, don't be so hard on yourself. You know you do this, and you've taken steps to prevent it. That's why you've frozen your card.

YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO CHANGE OVERNIGHT!

You've stopped doing it because you've denied yourself the opportunity, but you haven't really done anything to change your behaviour/mindset when offered temptation. This incident is the first in a sequence you need to go through before you do change.

One step at a time, and don't beat yourself up over slips. Stand up and march on.

HairyHandofDartmoor

I agree that you should cut up the card. I kept defrosting mine, it is just too easy to do that, but now I have cut it up and frozen it (haven't chucked it just in case I need the expiry date or something to do a balance transfer). Since cutting it up it has not been used once.

I have been tempted a couple of times but took away from myself the power to use it, and as has been said, for a planned expense you could order a new card. But to be really sure then close the account as well. It will give you a chance to form new habits.

elantan

thanks for your advice everyone ..i deffinately need to look at my habits and try and change them ..but i am quite intrigued by the cutting up then freezing...but then there's always online ....but on the other hand you do need to try and get the control somehow don't cha ..cheers