Great 'how to tell your kids about redundancy' Hunt

thriftychick

I explained my husband's redundancy by drawing a pie for my 12 and 10 year olds and explained that the blue bit was daddy's previous income (pieces of pie) and now that had gone so we were going to just have mummy's piece of pie.

When he got a job a year later, they said "so that means there's more pie!"

Blue_Elephant

thriftychick wrote: »

When he got a job a year later, they said "so that means there's more pie!"

Probably OT but that made me laugh out loud and snort Tea through my nose.

We all need more pie :rotfl:

limpy-jim

When my DH got made redundant last year , we explained to the kids that he wouldnt be working for a while but although we had to cut back his x emp would give him a couple of years wages so the bills could all still be paid ( I know we are one of the fortunate ones ), but that we would have to cut back. - My youngest(7) opened the door to him coming out the car in the street after his last day and shouted ' Dad - where is all the money'!! I think he thought they would give him it all home in an attache case! It has now been almost a year and the best year we have had with the kids - he is working part time at the moment and we get by - he is enjoying spending a lot more time with the kids , he helps out at school 1 day a week and I enjoy coming home to a tidy house and my ironing done! We have enjoyed lots of ( free) days out with the kids in the holidays, and he says if he went back a year he would still be glad to get made redundant.

I know it is not the ideal situation for everyone, but has worked ok for us.

Darnit_2

MrRedundant wrote: »

It's called work. I think they will find that if they work part time whilst at school and university and then full time after education they will have plenty of money for all of these.

Of course their friends might be spoilt brats whose dads buy them cars and pay for their lifestyle but your children will quickly see these people for the worthless humans they are.

Learning to work for what you want is a strong human trait and the sooner they see that the better. Nothing worse than graduates who have never done a days work in their life who then come into the workplace and think they are superior.

Oh dear, someone has had a bad experience. I think describing children from wealthy families as "worthless human beings" is a little harsh, since it isn't their decision to be raised that way. Or perhaps you meant that it is the parents who are "worthless"? Not sure, but either way, I for one am glad that we are all different, it gives me many an opportunity to "people watch" and discuss the pros and cons of wealth with my kids. My child has friends who are from both very rich and very poor. I for one am very proud that they all get on so well, take each other for what they are, and none are "worthless". Sometimes I do have to point out to "rich dad" that he really shouldn't invite my child to places we can't afford to fund (not intentional, just doesn't think sometimes), however, the kids all understand when explained. There are the odd "confidence" issues, in that some need bringing down a peg or two occasionally, and some need bolstering up, but that comes with teen years, not money, and isn't wealth specific.

icelandic_queen

I was made redundant nearly 8 months ago and it's actually been harder for me than my kids to deal with!! I just told them that I had been made redundant and we would have to be careful with our money. They've been ok as we wouldn't have had a lot of money anyway. The eldest was a bit worried that we would lose the house but once that was sorted she was fine. I feel sorry for a colleague though who was made redundant and her husband had also went BR. Her kids were furious and refused to accept that things would have to change. I feel sorry for her as they often 'bully' her into paying out more than she can really afford for stupid things and she is in serious arrears with her mortgage! You just have to be honest with them but edit the info to reflect their ages. I'm at home now when my kids come home and they love it.

redparaman

redpete wrote: »

"I'm very sorry Olivia but Daddy's lost his job and we can't afford you any more. Mummy's packed a suitcase and we are taking you to your new family tonight.".

Not particularly helpful or funny Redpete! It´s always best to be calm and honest. Explain to a child that they will be loved, fed and although material things and treats maybe limited there will undoubtedly be more family time together which is priceless!
Redpete, think of your comments before posting as there are many people facing this situation at present and its a difficult time approaching Christmas and possibly a long winter.

gorgeousgirlie

I know its a different world now, but I grew up in the eighties and remember watching my dad struggle with redundancy.

The first time I was very young and didn't know life could be any different. If other children at school had a new toy which I wanted, mum just gently explained we couldn't afford it, and that was good enough for me. Occasionally mum and dad would save hard and get it for me and it was so precious - my beloved heidi doll is in many of my childhood photos and is still on a shelf in my bedroom (I'm 34 now!).

But we had fantastic camping holidays, family walks and bike rides, mum and dad made clothes and toys etc; dad made bread and rock cakes, we kept an allotment and meat rabbits (sorry) - I realise only now how hard mum and dad worked but to me it was a fab childhood.

Dad got a job when I was about 8, but was made redundant again when I was 12. I remember them picking me up from school and mum saying, 'well are you going to tell her then?' I was terrified, thinking someone had died, then dad, voice full of shame admitted he'd lost his job. I cant tell you how relieved I was! I think I said 'oh great, will we get rabbits again?!'

I know kids now are more savvy, and its all a lot more serious than that, but to me back then it meant losing grumpy stressed tired overworked dad and getting back the fun one who I got to play trains with! I actually thought my friend (whose home was repossessed) was so cool cos she got the exciting adventure of moving every few months!

I know its really hard and I've no intention of sounding flippant, but to a child, (I think even today) whats most important is feeling loved and safe and knowing your family is there. I had no concept of the shame my dad felt, or the hardship my mum endured, they were just mum and dad and we all loved each other and that was enough. I think thats borne out by the earlier posters who've mentioned that their kids enjoy them being around more.

Now in fact, I worry that my 3 year old has too much stuff! When he asks for toys in shops I show him the price tag and explain how long poor daddy will have to be away working to earn that. Already now he asks 'can i have one or is it too expensive?' Money management is a vital life skill and, while our instinct is to protect our children from upset, understanding the cost and value of things and where that money comes from is vital to their future happiness.

Sorry for the long post!!!

whitewing

My son found the change in routine very unsettling - that worried him far more than any money issues that were worrying me.

Implementing a new structure and being clear about where I was when or what I would be doing that day worked better than just being busy on the computer one minute and then interrupting him for some extra guilt-induced quality time. And that kept me sane too.