Straight couple want civil partnership

TamVilla80

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-11625835

Just wondering what everyone else thought about this.

I find it a bit weird to be honest. I can see the point that they want gay couples to be seen the same way as straight couples and that's fine, but their idea of marriage just seems strange to me. I think they are seeing marriage as an old institution where the man owns the woman and is in charge, but I don't see that at all. Me and my oh are getting married as equals (whether he likes it or not, lol) and we want to be known as husband and wife, I wouldn't want to tell people he is my civil partner as it sounds a bit business like and unromantic.

Each to there own and all, as long as they are happy thats up to them, I just found it a bit strange?!

nunnygirl

Totally confusing!

codemonkey

I always thought civil partnerships were like weddings for gay and lesbian couples, so surely a straight civil partnership is, errrm, an actual wedding.

If you don't want to get married get "not married" and have a party like some friends of mine did. If you want it legally registered then get married with some lovely pre-nups.

Birdie85

I seem to remember reading years ago about the French version of Civil Partnerships (PACS) and quite a few straight couples do it over there as it's easier to dissolve than Marriage (good thing to think about as you're vowing yourself to someone for life!) so co-habiting couples do it for tax reasons, which I get but it's not terribly romantic...

I don't really get this couple wanting to be Civil Partners, if they've got issue with the inequality of the system why not campaign for same sex couples to be allowed to be Married?

TamVilla80

A not married party? Excellent!

I just don't understand why they wouldn't want to be married and known as husband and wife? Everyones marriage is different and personal to them, you make it your own, so why are they bothered about everyone thinking 'he owns her'? My oh won't own me - he couldn't afford me :rotfl:

Tigsteroonie

"For Tom and I, the role of the husband and the role of a wife seem very strict and that's not for us," she says, arguing that such categories derive from an era when women were subservient to men. "In our day-to-day life, we feel like civil partners, not a married couple.

Tom, a civil servant, agrees. "We don't feel like a husband and wife, we feel like partners," he says.

You what????????????????

In 2010, how are the roles of "husband" and "wife" strict? Do they not realise that time has moved on, and that marriage is now a joining of equal partners?

maggie111

I wish I had enough strength to have demand a civil partnership and not a civil marriage.

I completely agree with the statement "Both Tom and Katherine explain that their primary reason for not getting married is that they do not want to be part of an institution from which gay and lesbian people are excluded."

System

Is it not just a wedding done in a registry office?

kitschkitty

I found it hard to understand but having read a few feminist discussions on the topic, it seems that feminists seem to attach an awful lot to words, and feel that they label us, funnily enough I'm with those that feel we make up our own definition of what a husband or wife is!

That said I have also read discussions of many people who shun marriage because of the states involvement in their relationship, and the exclusion of certain religions or spiritual or other beliefs.

Especially here in the UK where you can only get married indoors between certain times of day by a very limited choice of official people.

I can understand the concept that a civil partnership is actually different to a marriage and so I can understand why some couples might want one.

But conversely it doesn't mean that a marriage should be equalized into something that includes same sex couples, as a marriage is actually different to a civil partnership whether you like it or not!

It's all rather complicated really, and I'm very glad that I will be extremely happy to become a Mrs with/to my Mr!

bubbles0169

maggie111 wrote: »

I wish I had enough strength to have demand a civil partnership and not a civil marriage.

I completely agree with the statement "Both Tom and Katherine explain that their primary reason for not getting married is that they do not want to be part of an institution from which gay and lesbian people are excluded."

but its a bit contradictory, that equal love bloke saying its not about gay rights but the couple in question seem to be doing just that?

imo its a waste of time really just to make a point that doesnt need to be made, they should be defining their own lives not letting history dictate it and if they need to go to court to do that well whats next? getting a surrogate to have their children becuase they dont believe in sex in marriage?(yes i know its completley different buts its just to make a point;))

minerva_windsong

I can see why someone might want one - for tax purposes and none of the religious stuff - but it's not for me, as personally it strikes me that you can get that from a civil marriage (I'm not sure that's the right phrase, basically not a church wedding is what I mean) and then just call yourselves 'partners' rather than 'husband and wife'.