OK So where do I start?

niccatw

Do you think you can get all your girls on board with a spending diary? That's the one thing I find really hits it home to me (you've done the other thing; disecting the bank statements!). It immediately cuts back my spending as I am consciously thinking do I actually need this right now?

I think every-one has covered the rest.

But also to re-iterate; you have not mucked up! And there is no need to apologise! Pretty much all of us are here because we also took the bull by the horns and decided to look at our spending.

Whilst your amounts do look high, that's probably because your earning more than most SOAs I see. Comparitively, you're making the same mistakes, and mostly in the same places, as we all have made.

We're all here to work through them and get on top of it all, so don't give yourself such a hard time. You're going to need to be strong to get three (I'm assuming teenage?) daughter's on board with your goals, so you need to think what's done is done and work out where you go from here. You can do it!

Take care

Luckystepho

Your poor cat, hope he's ok now, some people are evil! Good luck and well done on starting to sort it out.

misscousinitt

I think it has all been said: groceries, clothes, insurances, entertainment & emergency fund - these are the areas to seriously look at.

It won't take much before you are back on an even keel.

Didn't want to read and run...just wanted to wish you loads of luck.

Steel_2

You haven't offended anyone love, and you haven't mucked anything up. Most of us have had a few eye watering moments on our SOAs in the past. Occasionally we still do

The good thing about having a grocery bill that high is that with some attention from everyone it should come down pretty rapidly.

Some thoughts about groceries:

Look at how much meat you use in your meals. For example, give my hubby four chicken breasts (at £6+ for a pack) and he'll use all four in one meal for the two of us. Me? I'd use 1.5, lots of veg and stick the other 2.5 in the freezer for another day.

Household stuff - dishwasher tablets, washing powder, clothes conditioner, cleaners etc are pretty expensive, especially if you use the branded stuff, so you might be able to come down a brand on those and save some money.

Toiletries - do your two daughters and wife use expensive shampoos and conditioners? Some of the ones like John Frieda and Charles Worthington etc are around £5 a bottle. Also, I wonder if there's make-up slipping in to the weekly shop as well. Might be interesting for you to go through and tot up how much of your bill is women's make-up and toiletries. Do the girls go shopping with either you or your wife? If they do, leave them behind for a while and see what happens to your bill (assuming of course your wife isn't also putting the stuff in as well).

Alcohol - how much slips into your trolley every week? An average bottle of wine is probably ~£5. Put two or three of those in your trolley every week for a glass each evening for you and your wife plus the odd bottle of spirits and maybe some beer each month and you could be up to £100 in a month on alcohol alone.

Presents - are you buying birthday etc presents for people from the supermarket and counting that in with your shopping?

Jack_Bannerman

Well I managed to pull the ears off the rabbit today and only through a bit of careful pre-thinking did I not make it worse. It's still in the hat but it will take a few days to come out. Still it was a wasted trip in the end. We have some supplies and my wife's account is keeping us in funds at a bit of cost at the minute.

I showed her this thread. You guys put it straight I must say and all power to you. She doesn't believe the numbers though - but I double checked them just now anyway. I may be on my own on this for a while - at least until I can prove things myself. I'm no good at getting people on board.

We don't drink or smoke.

The girls rarely grocery shop with us and only one uses cosmetics in any amount. Shampoos fairly standard I think. Often there is a must have for school - though I managed to resist the Notebook scam. Occaisonally my wife picks up something she wants to use at her school but that's just the way she is and I'm fine with that. I could only catagorise by store from the bank statements and some of it will be non-groceries. With analysis of till receipts and a spend diary I might get more accurate data but once you start recording stuff habits will change anyway. Either way a lot is going somewhere and we've little to show for it.

Anyway I've got a few areas that look likely for improvements so I'd better make a start. I'm sure the girls will be up for a fixed budget - I haven't done pocket money in ages so haven't had much reason to refuse their requests. Plus if I can show how things should be done they may learn as well.

The cat is fine. Thanks.

Steel_2

Jack_Bannerman wrote: »

We don't drink or smoke.

The girls rarely grocery shop with us and only one uses cosmetics in any amount. Shampoos fairly standard I think. Often there is a must have for school - though I managed to resist the Notebook scam. Occaisonally my wife picks up something she wants to use at her school but that's just the way she is and I'm fine with that.

Jack_Bannerman wrote: »

She doesn't believe the numbers though - but I double checked them just now anyway.

I have to say, after seeing that you don't drink or smoke, the ladies in the house rarely use make up and toiletries are standard, I'm not sure I do either :rotfl:

Where is that £912 a month going????

DVDs?
Books?
Magazines?
Presents?

I'm subscribing to this thread as you have me intrigued. Keep updating please as you do your shopping over the coming weeks and months.

Gemmzie

Jack, after you've done an inventory of what food you have in the house already. Try doing your weekly food shop online, then you can always print it out to take around in the shop and as you walk around you might start to see what extras slip in. Good luck.

sueeve

A thought based on experience, bcause I have had teenage daughters, and supported one through uni.
The hardest word to use to them is 'No'. The hardest thing to do is to stick to it. They may be wonderful - mine varied,
Perhaps you could do it on a time scale
'At the end of 6 months we will see where we are'.
It is quite normal for over 16's to support themselves in clothing and entertainment, while you keep them fed and watered.

jockinleeds

I shop at ASDA, I have a family of 4. My last online shop was £186 for the month!
I use mysupermarket which gives you saving ideas as you go...
My eldest is 18 and passed his test, as much as I WANT to help him and provide a car etc I CANT. Even insurance quotes are £3k+ - if he cant afford it then neither can I.
If you do have to cut down then you really have to face into it... George at ASDA for the clothes n stuff... My 12 yo gets the 18 yo 'cast offs' which hes actually quite happy with 'cos he's quite stylish. As well as being an apprentice, he does some ebay 'dabbling' and suppoerts himself rather well.
My kids understand the value of the pound note. When there is one spare they can have it. When not, then they cant.
Pension. Fair enough.
Endowments - These went out with the ARk... ?
Cut down on the Groceries...
Entertainment - whats that? Mine is from the TV and Internet - all included in SOA.
Emergency Fund - £220 - mine - just keeping fingers crossed and trying to cope as and when it happens!!
Expenditure can be changed for the better without being too poor.
Hope you get it sorted out.

debtdesperado

Jack_Bannerman wrote: »

ExpensesAmount(£)
Mortgage 436.9
Secured/HP loan payments 300
Rent 300 a mortgage AND rent? Are you paying for one of your daughters? If not, you need to add something for the management charge figure.
Management charge (leasehold property) 0

Mobile phone 0 - are you sure? Neither you or your wife have mobiles, or pay for your daughter's mobiles?

Satellite/Cable TV 0 - So you only have terrestrial TV?

Groceries etc. 815.95
Clothing 236.35 - both as per everyone else's comments.

Car Parking 0 - if you have two cars, at some point someone must be paying 50p here or there for car parking, and it soon adds up.

Other child related expenses 0 - do you give any of your daughters pocket money, or even the odd handout? If so, this needs to be factored in as well.
Medical (prescriptions, dentists, opticians etc.) 0 - must be something for this.
Pet Insurance/Vet bills 25 - this seems high, does it include food etc for pets?
Buildings Insurance 32.25
Contents Insurance 0 - you need to have this.

Haircuts 40 - I bet you spend more than this! This is the cost of one woman's cut and blow dry... so if you are paying for your daughters and wife, that is 4 x40 = 160, assume they go every two months and not every month means this total is 80 per month. How often do you get your hair cut? 10, once a month? So your actual cost here is probably 90 a month.
Entertainment 163.72
Holiday (included in general cost) 0
Emergency Fund 220

A few suggestions above - start recording your daily spends, and your wife's daily spends as then you can see where your money is actually going. It's much easier than you think to blast through the odd 50 or £100 a week on bits and pieces, and once you get on top of your daily spending, suddenly it will feel like you have loads of money. This I know from experience!

The haircut point above is the perfect example of how what you assume may well be way off what is actually being spent without noticing!

Don't apologise either - what's past is past, it's what you do now that makes the difference (my debt was originally £42k, largely through just letting money trickle through my fingers... now it's just over £10k). You sound like a good man who wants the best for his family so it will all get sorted out in the end.