Need advice

Warpa

Really the people behind the CSA need shooting, you couldnt make up some of the things expected of you in the leaflet, you can even lose your driving liscence for 2 years for not paying up on time.

Well i have paid my way since my divorce, i paid for two children but i now only have to pay for one as my eldest is 19. So instead of the £67 pw i paid and went into debt for, i have to pay £50 for one, i know its on a percentage, but food is food and clothes are clothes, you get no discount when shopping for 3 as opposed to 4:mad:

Now i am self employed and really cannot pay this amount for another 2 or 3 years, i have just taken out a loan for 20k to pay my X the final settlement payment and simply do not have any available funds. meanwhile she does the minimum part time hours and lives in rented accomodation all paid for, she gets the child allowance, child tax credit and the child i still pay for get £30 pw EMA, thats well over £100 pw for one 16 year old while i keep getting letters of bounced DD's, have a credit card im paying £80 PM off and £74 is interest, this is on top of my mortgage, van loan and loan to pay her off.

Surely there is something i can do? Im on my own and really dont see the point in carrying on, why work and try to support my kids and better myself when its all taken away from me? My X has had 6 foreign holidays since we split up 6 years ago, i have had none, only holiday i get is when im too ill to work which is becoming more coomonplace.

Please help.

Can i contact my local MP in the Southampton area or anything like that to get help in some way.I could use a break, its ok for them, my daughters get drunk every weekend, feed and fend for themselves while my X eats ready made dietry meals at £6 odd pound a go:eek:

DUTR

I do wish you had other posts, it is difficult to judge if this is a genuine post or not.
As you have included the text"Surely there is something i can do? Im on my own and really dont see the point in carrying on, why work and try to support my kids and better myself when its all taken away from me?
I will assume it is serious, there is plenty you can do, but acting like a 'loser' and people will treat you like one, don't worry about what the Jones' are doing concern yourself with yourself.
Self Employed? Get yourself a sharp accountant/bookeeper, it's not as if lifestyle inconsistent with income is going to come into play.
Meals £6 a go??? You best learn to cook because you will save a load of money there and have a much healthier diet, which will make you feel better within yourself.
Perhaps your posts should be in the relationship section and/or other MSE forums, it does not seem that the csa is your only problem at the moment.
Good Luck.

hi_its_me

DUTR wrote: »

Meals £6 a go??? You best learn to cook because you will save a load of money there and have a much healthier diet, which will make you feel better within yourself.

I think OP was referring to his ex was paying £6 a go for dietry meals as he said:
Quote: while my X eats ready made dietry meals at £6 odd pound a go.

bdt1

Have you tried talking to your child and ex about the possibility of a private arrangement, whereby CSA will no longer be involved?

Also just a thought, but does the child stay overnight with you at all, as if so, you may be entitled to a reduction in Child Support.

Keep your chin up, we have/are on here all at the hands of the CSA and all have our tales of woe to tell, you're not alone by any means.

Warpa

Thanks for the replies. I am an honest hard working man and would not chose any other way, even when i hit retirememnt i plan to go on with at least 3 days a week, i dont expect or want anybody to support me, and have old fashioned values that its my duty to support my family.

I did try speaking to my x, before she got the csa involved i pai £108 for the youngest child, the csa have upped that to £200 as said. I have been given some advice and will be in touch with my accountant and was also told to download a form from CAB, cant remember the name, something about all your income.

I dont need any relationship advice as i have not had anything to do with my x over the last few years as when we become friendly she drops a bombshell on me. I did ask her to go back to the old payment yesterday as i couldnt cope financially, but she said there was no point (of coarse not if it makes her better off) later on in the evning my daughter texts me saying she thought i was a better dad and its my job to support her:mad: God knows what her mum has been saying.

This has severley damaged my relationship with my girls and the system needs fixing, the csa dont give two hoots that i have around £100 fuel bill a week on top of all my other expences, tools etc, and i will fight them till the end. I wont let a bunch of pen pushers that cant read between the lines treat me this way.

PlayingHardball

Hiya, I don't understand where you think you will be able to fight the CSA on this one, if they are taking the correct child support payments from you, according to your income and your circumstances.

The fact that you have a £100 fuel bill and debts doesn't mean that you should be paying less child support. The only thing I wonder about though, is whether you are on the new CSA system (CSA2), as CSA1 is calculated differently, and I believe more day to day living costs are considered. I can't advise on that though, as I don't understand that system. Can you confirm which system you are on?

I'm sorry things are tight for you though, on the bright side, its only a little longer until you won't have to pay child support.

Warpa

PlayingHardball wrote: »

Hiya, I don't understand where you think you will be able to fight the CSA on this one, if they are taking the correct child support payments from you, according to your income and your circumstances.

The fact that you have a £100 fuel bill and debts doesn't mean that you should be paying less child support. The only thing I wonder about though, is whether you are on the new CSA system (CSA2), as CSA1 is calculated differently, and I believe more day to day living costs are considered. I can't advise on that though, as I don't understand that system. Can you confirm which system you are on?

I'm sorry things are tight for you though, on the bright side, its only a little longer until you won't have to pay child support.

Which is where the system falls right on its head, either my business stays afloat or i fold and pay nothing. I have no idea what system im on, it started in 2009.

The way this is working is i sink a slow painfull and very expensive death that will take years to clear my financial name and start again (which i cant because i dont have the years on my side for a 20 year mortgage) or fold now and save the pain for myself and my new partner.

clearingout

I think you need to separate out what is legal (that you must pay child support) from the people at the CSA who are jsut doing their jobs, they don't make the rules, they just apply them (although many of us would say they don't do that very well!). From a self employment point of view, it would be well worth finding an accountant to have a look over your books and make sure that you're claiming for everything you could be so that you're only paying maintenance on what you have to. For example, if your fuel bill is required for your job, surely that can be offset against tax and not taken into account as part of your earnings?

Many of us - whether we're paying child support or (supposedly) receiving it - struggle to pick ourselves up on many levels (financial, emotional, practical) after a divorce. I am not sure that things can ever be the same for any of us. The trick to avoid the bitterness and stress, I think, is to accept it as inevitable and look for positives, however small those may be (is the sun shining today?). Take care.

PlayingHardball

clearingout wrote: »

Many of us - whether we're paying child support or (supposedly) receiving it - struggle to pick ourselves up on many levels (financial, emotional, practical) after a divorce. I am not sure that things can ever be the same for any of us. The trick to avoid the bitterness and stress, I think, is to accept it as inevitable and look for positives, however small those may be (is the sun shining today?). Take care.

Very well said clearingout. And good advice about seeing whether OP is paying the right amount. OP, do you know about NACSA if you can't afford an accountant to go through your accounts? If not, google them, they are brilliant.

At the end of the day, our children still need our support. OP, my daughter is 16 and her 'father/sperm donor' hasn't supported her now for 2 years, which has caused a great deal of financial hardship to her/me. Because of this, she and her older 2 sisters have decided he isnt a very nice person and don't have any contact with him. (I had nothing to do with their decisions, they all came to it through various things that he did or didn't do specific to each of them)

Every situation is different though, and I wish you well and hope that things turn brighter for you financially (and me too, for that matter)

bdt1

Might as we have previously said - be worth looking at an efficient accountant, who at least will be able to offset some of your business/running expenses, if you perform some elements of your business from a room in your home, you can also offset some energy/phone/internet bills etc.

Just thought if this is case you could free up some more money, as some of your outgoings could possily be offset against business use

romanempire

Its not clear from your postings exactly what your problem is.

Is it that the CSA have incorrectly assessed you?
Not uncommon. Get your DPA file and find out where they've got it wrong. Then appeal their mistake.

Have they muddled your personal and business finances?
Again, not unusual. They are, after all, PAYE drones and pretty clueless about the complications of being self-employed. As before find out where they've gone wrong and appeal it.

Have you muddled your personal and business finances? Have you treated a business expense (to be offset against revenue) as a personal expense (to be offset against net income)? Its an easy mistake for a sole-trader.

Remember the CSA tax only applies to your net income.

Business takings minus business expenses = gross income.

Gross income minus Income tax & NI = net income.

Make sure every business expense (no matter how small) is offset against your takings.

R.