a little specialist advice needed

nannytone_2

my kids are now 27 and 30.
in 1990 i seperated from their dad, and although no formal child support was paid, he paid for dancing lessons, winter coats, school uniforms etc.
i recieved income support for a short while. but i was unable to provide the C S A with a national insurance number or a current address.

a few weeks ago i recieved a phone call from the C S A asking if i wished them to pursue the arrears case and i said no. they said the call was a formality and that although they couldnt close the case, i may be called in the future, that no action would be taken. my kids have been fully independant for a number of years, and i raised them without a lot of help, although their father provided many of the 'extras'.

today my daughter phoned me to say that the C S A had written to her father to demand 42k in arrears!

he phoned them and they told him that they had known wehere he was and whi his employer were since 2002.

i have no wish to pursue this and have told the C S A so, but they seem adamant on doing so.

all this will achieve is alianating my ex from his adult kids.


could this just be a computer generated letter because they reviewed an old case or is it something more sinister??

shell_542

Because you were on Income Support, some of that child support was owed to the government, so they want it. They are opening lots of old cases which have arrears and were never chased up as the country is short on cash and they see it as a way to get some back.

Unfortunately, I think they will pursue him. If he cannot afford to pay (which let's face it, not many people have £40k lying around) they may put a charge on his home if he owns it and he'll be forced to sell if there is equity in it.

nannytone_2

youve just confirmed my worst thoughts!

ok, he was a !!!!!! husband, but he was a good dad, and still is!
he had a house left to him by his parents, that he now lives in.

he niow fully intends to say he opaid maintenance, so putting the onus on me!

i totally admit that he gave me 'extras' but they werent in the form of regular child maintenance.

if i had a buill that i couldnt pay he'd borrow me the money and i'd pay him back.
i totally want to preserve the relatiuonship he has with his kids/grandkids now.
but he wants to ahift the blame onto me

kelloggs36

Did you declare any of the money to income support if you had any? Paying for things directly as far as CSA were concerned whilst you were on benefits does NOT count as child support - he should have been paying to offset your benefits.

kelloggs36

He wants to save his skin by landing you in it - as you may end up with an investigation for benefit fraud - sounds like a nice man!! He would need to be able to prove that he gave you regular maintenance - if he can't and if you don't say you had it, then they can't get you for benefit fraud, and he will have no choice but to pay up.

gratefulforhelp_2

OP Kelloggs is right and his relationship with the children should not be soo fragile that it is destroyed by something out of their control.

Please don't tell the CSA anything other than the truth.

nannytone_2

he was a great dad! as i said a !!!!!! husband lol.
he paid £20 a week for my daughters dancing lessons, and no i never declared it as it never went into mmy pocket!

i think possibly the past has caught up with us both.
but for the short while i was on benefit, it cant have amopounted to 42 k.

im just very wary of becoming involved in case they come after me!
while i was on benefit i received school clothes and xmas pressies..................do they have a cash
equivalent?

he now wants to say that these were regular cash payments.

so it's my word against his.
but at the same time i have no wish to see him homeless

nannytone_2

all ive heard from the csa is do i want them to pursue arrears

DUTR

nannytone wrote: »

all ive heard from the csa is do i want them to pursue arrears

What puzzles me is if they knew his whereabouts etc since 2002, why wait until now to persue him?
Some have his taxes went to paying your IS , so in effect he has contributed fairly, it seems they don't have much of a case without your authority

nannytone_2

exactly, i am unsure as to wether the fact that they contacted me after all this time, precipitated a computer generated letter.

they may be pursuing him or it might just be a paper trai'

until we know, its hard to know how to react

kelloggs36

But because she was on benefits, they don't need her authority - if she were a private client then she would have the say. I have also paid for her income support, he should pay more for his children than I should. He cannot claim a cash equivalent for items bought - it doesn't work that way, unless you want to admit you had the money and pay it back to income support.