First debt free wannabee post - SOA

Miss_Lemon

Hi Linzi

Just a thought. Could you get your in-laws to agree to babysit for you on a regular basis to allow you to take on a part-time job? It's the least they could do in the circumstances, assuming they live nearby?

Wishing you luck x

barefootlinzi

Thankyou for all your replies. I realise that my SOA is incomplete - i blame the fact that i did it at gone midnight
Just to clear a few things up...

Rent - this included rent, council tax, water rates and tv license (we rent from my mum, and we lump them all in together)

Sky tv - included in this is sky, broadband, phone and line rental. we get them all from sky and pay one charge a month to them. i am all for getting rid of sky and having freeview but hubby loves his sky sports

petrol - we budgeted this amount but i cant see how we use that much, we live 3 miles from hubbys work, and plan to borrow a bike from a friend soon so we can cut down on petrol more. i am going to keep tabs on petrol and see how much we really use

clothing - yes this really is near to £0! my MIL (the one who owes us money) is always buying clothes for the boys, otherwise its hand me downs or from freegle. the little one in in the big ones handme downs, and they both have a birthday in june so we ask for summer clothes for birthday presents and winter ones for xmas presents! i am living in 2 pairs of trousers, and rarely buy clothes and if i do its charity shops. my other half used to buy lots of clothes so has plenty, plus his uniform is provided. i should have put money for the boys shoes in, as we buy those new.

haircuts - hubby does his own with clippers, i trim mine and the boys with scissors. cant get the boys into the hair dressers anyway, they hate it

entertainment - we used to get a lot of takeaways/bottles of wine but have knocked this on the head since the wedding.

presents - mostly handmade by me, this xmas is a 'no presents for over 13's' xmas (so only 4 kids to buy for ) and the boys are getting a hand made wooden shop made by me and our partner from spare wood in our garage, plus other bits made from fabric/supplies i already have in my stash.

groceries - we are working on lowering this, we already buy basic and cook from scratch but we now have a costco card and are slowing buying in bulk to save money and have a stockpile for emergencies.

gas & elec - changed in may, thought we had a good deal but maybe i need to look again at the comparison sites

benefits - am going to look to see if we are entitled to more than we already get

mobile phones - hubbys is £20 a month mine is between £25-£30, both locked into contracts for another year (they were both 18 month contracts). can you get out of the contracts? i want to switch to pay as you go

Loan - we are currently paying the whole debt as in laws are not giving us money at the mo, so i put the whole figure in. plus, their payments will pay off credit card and not go towards the loan (this is because i want to pay of the card asap in case we cant get another interest free card when this one's interest free year is up). but we calculated their portion of the loan as follows....
£17,000 loan, £3,000 for in laws
60 monthly payments, £385.23 a month. total cost of loan = £23,113.90
Total interest = £6,113.90
£3,000 is 17.65% of £17,000
17.65% of £23,113.90 is £4079.60

So they are paying us back £4079.60.

We did it this way because we are likely to pay it off in under 60 months, we'd like to over pay and clear it earlier but it is unlikely.

It is a difficult situation because they are in as bad a financial situation as us with loans and such like (thats why they couldnt get approved for a loan themselves), they have a loan that fnishes in december and will be making that payment to us instead from jan. i am all for telling them that they has put us in a difficult stuation but hubby doesnt want to tell them the extent of our struggle, as he feels it will make them get in a worse financial situation to pay us back. does that make sense? he thinks if we just cope till after xmas then we wont make their situation worse. plus we dont want to fall out wth them.

you have all given me good advice on areas to improve on, i feel more confidant that we can sort it now

linzi

romylou_2

Hi there

Hope you don't mind me jumping in? I agree with contacting in laws and if you have to lay it on thick "my babies will starve if you don't pay" DO IT. In fact, get you hubby to do it. You let them borrow that money in good faith - its time for them to pay up!!!

It seems like you already have made a number of major cutbacks. Barefoot Linzi offers some good advice.

Have a chat with your mam and see if you can reduce your rent (even by £25 per month) just until you get on your feet. Your Landlord would not want to see her grandchildren on the street after all.

Times are tough and you have to be tougher. Once you have your budget and can pay the full rent let your mam know. I'm sure she can help you out.:)

Good Luck

Pollycat

barefootlinzi wrote: »

clothing - yes this really is near to £0! my MIL (the one who owes us money) is always buying clothes for the boys, otherwise its hand me downs or from freegle. the little one in in the big ones handme downs, and they both have a birthday in june so we ask for summer clothes for birthday presents and winter ones for xmas presents! i am living in 2 pairs of trousers, and rarely buy clothes and if i do its charity shops. my other half used to buy lots of clothes so has plenty, plus his uniform is provided. i should have put money for the boys shoes in, as we buy those new.

Loan - we are currently paying the whole debt as in laws are not giving us money at the mo, so i put the whole figure in.

It is a difficult situation because they are in as bad a financial situation as us with loans and such like (thats why they couldnt get approved for a loan themselves), they have a loan that fnishes in december and will be making that payment to us instead from jan. i am all for telling them that they has put us in a difficult stuation but hubby doesnt want to tell them the extent of our struggle, as he feels it will make them get in a worse financial situation to pay us back. does that make sense? he thinks if we just cope till after xmas then we wont make their situation worse. plus we dont want to fall out wth them.

linzi

Linzi
I've extracted and highlighted a few bits of your last post.

Maybe your in-laws could do with sorting out THEIR finances too.

That's one good reason for you to tell them about your financial situation.
I'm sure you could word it so that they don't feel bad about you taking out the loan on their behalf.
If you feel that you can manage until January without them starting to pay back the loan, make this clear to them.

But I personally would tell them.

barefootlinzi

Yes, they so need to sort their financies and my mil complusivly spends on her grandkids, she buys at car boots and cheap places and so thinks she is getting bargains but it is still unnecessary spending. i dont feel like i can say anything, and my hubby doesnt want to cause problems with them, but they have serious problems with a huge unpaid tax bill and stuff, its such a difficult situation

isy1011

Your husbands parents are pulling you down the same black hole with them. For all you know it may make her feel better if she is not the only one in debt.

SORT IT OUT! you have young kids!

If it were me my kids would come first then down the line would be my MIL.

Triggles

My MIL would never ever put us in a position where financially we were concerned about being able to provide for our children (her grandchildren). I'd recommend making it clear to her that financially she is putting a great deal of stress on your family. They are adults - if they can ask for the money to begin with, they can be told it needs to be paid. It's uncomfortable, I get it. But is it fair to be putting this type of stress and worry on you and your DH when they are old enough to help shoulder the burden?? I cannot believe they are not at least insisting that they pay PART of the payment each month, if they absolutely cannot afford the full payment.