CSA Liability now Ended

hi_its_me

Hubby's daughter just turned 18 (he was nrp), had place sorted for uni and planned to start this week. Her mother (pwc) frog marched her to the local college insisting she sign up for another non advanced course because (her words) she would lose her mopney.. ie, child ben, csa, ctc and the element allowed in her income support for her! This is her only income apart from what her boyfriend, who doesn't live there.. but does, gives her.
Hubby told daughter that she should not miss out on going to uni, especially after gaining such good grades to get in, just to go and do a course she really did not want to do in order for her mother to continue getting child related benefits. If it was a course daughter really wanted to do then by all means we would back her all the way, but not just to keep her mother.
Anyway, upon his advice, daughter decided she must do what SHE really wanted to do and not what would benefit anyone else and therefore started uni this week.
Her mother kicked her out last week when daughter informed her of her decision, saying that as her money would now stop she couldn't afford to keep her (basically, if she's not bringing her in an income then she doesn't want to know!)
So last week daughter moved in with us and is attending uni. CSA have now told us that CM liability of £300 per month ended on 6th Sept and the case is now closed. Doesn't matter how much it costs us to support her through uni... at least we know it's all for HER benefit and not her lazy a** mother who now has to look for a job!!
I think it is despicable that a mother can treat her own child that way. At least now she is with family that care about her and living in a loving and supportive environment. Since she was 15 yrs old her mother would be out clubbing, etc and staying out for days on end. Or staying with boyfriends for weeks at a time only returning home occasionally to check on daughter and top up food cupboard (which apparently, was not a lot). Daughter is a lovely girl and put up with this as she felt she could look after herself. Now she doesn't have to.:T

Debicj

Well done to your daughter for getting good grades with what sounds like very little support. I hope she does as well at Uni.

Caz3121

similar tale with my hubbies son, he wanted to move in with us at 16 and go to college here (non-advanced course) mum kicked off about how much money she would lose in benefits and maintenance and she and his sister would be destitute so he stayed. As course drew to a close she could sense the end of the gravy train so kicked him out...still claiming all the benefits 2 months on (also living with someone but not) He is now doing another non-advanced course (no choice as does not have the grades for anything else) He unfortunately lost any respect for his mother years ago when she constantly put herself and various boyfriends before her own children...we are expecting his daughter next year...just getting her room ready :-)

hi_its_me

Debicj wrote: »

Well done to your daughter for getting good grades with what sounds like very little support. I hope she does as well at Uni.

From her mother, yes, VERY little.
But luckily, we live less than 5 mins away, so have always been here for her and have always supported her as much as we can.. she is and always will be the apple of her dad's eye:).

hi_its_me

Caz3121 wrote: »

He unfortunately lost any respect for his mother years ago when she constantly put herself and various boyfriends before her own children...we are expecting his daughter next year...just getting her room ready :-)

We would have loved to have had daughter move in before getting kicked out but she was worried about her mum ending up on her own with no money.. bless her.. goes to show how sweet (and niave) she really is/was. But now she too is losing respect for her mum.

Blue_Horizon

Good for your step-daughter in making the right decision. My daughter has decided to go back to college to study a GCSE equivalent diploma after getting 4 A grades at A level. I'm gutted.

AnxiousMum

Sounds like the daughter is on a winning road now - doing the course at the level she wants to do it, and with the love and support of you and her father behind her. Well done all of you! Enjoy

hi_its_me

Blue_Horizon wrote: »

Good for your step-daughter in making the right decision. My daughter has decided to go back to college to study a GCSE equivalent diploma after getting 4 A grades at A level. I'm gutted.

Could your daughter be in the same situation as my step daughter was?
ie, mum pushing her in that direction in order to keep the gravy train going? My step daughter had various A grades and three merits and didnt need nor want to do another GCSE equivalent diploma.. which is what her mum tried to get her to do... and had already been accepted for the uni of her choice.
Is it possible to have your daughter live with you?

Blue_Horizon

hi_its_me wrote: »

Could your daughter be in the same situation as my step daughter was?
ie, mum pushing her in that direction in order to keep the gravy train going? My step daughter had various A grades and three merits and didnt need nor want to do another GCSE equivalent diploma.. which is what her mum tried to get her to do... and had already been accepted for the uni of her choice.
Is it possible to have your daughter live with you?

No it's not possible. My daughter seems happy doing what she is doing. I have spoken to her about it and she just laughed it off, saying the money wasn't much. I've told her that this will effect my ability to support her if she goes to university. To me it's a complete waste of a year, but because she isn't 19 until summer it's worth my ex to encourage her to do this.